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Nobody Puts Gin In A Corner

At some point in time, gin became a grandmother’s drink. Except that grandmother was probably a flapper in the 1920s who’d drink bathtub gin and dance the night away with some really cool cats. Even if that’s not the case, grandmas tend to be badass people, so why are we knocking them and gin?

Gin Can Be Lethal And Magical

It’s not as though gin doesn’t pack a punch; in order to even be considered gin worldwide, the liquor needs to be at least 37 percent alcohol. We’re so serious about the stuff in America, that the minimum is set at 40 percent.

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I mean, are there any vodkas out there made from unicorn tears? Nope, just gin. How could you possibly need more proof that this is a magical substance than it blending perfectly with unicorn tears?

Gin’s Got Your Back…And Liver…And Kidneys

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From the extra antioxidant kick it gets from juniper berries to its diuretic ingredients that help your liver and kidneys get rid of bacteria, gin is hard to accuse of malice. You hardly find gin that packs more than 110 calories per shot, no matter how many ingredients they infuse it with.

Very few gins have the poor manners to be completely awful and most good gins are between $30-40. You either taste nothing or flowers, which is definitely the least scary way anyone’s ever explained alcohol to you.

Blame It On The Queen, Gotcha Feelin’ Mean

No, not Beyoncé; she’s still flawless. Gin likely gets its matronly rep from its British roots. Because, obviously, there are only old women in the UK and they all drink tea, sherry, and a bit of gin, if they’re feeling nasty. (If you read that sentence to the tone and image of Queen Elizabeth II, try it again with Dame Helen Mirren; it should keep the nightmares away). While the latter might be a little more accurate, albeit stereotypical, we need to erase this image of old biddies throwing shade at each other over gin and tonics.

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Gin can be young, fun, and even supernatural. It can serve as a base for light summer drinks or take the front seat of a warming winter cocktail with the same ethereal elegance. There’s nothing stopping you from giving gin a chance to sweep you off your feet.

Even if you don’t, at least stop putting vodka in your martinis. James Bond barely gets away with it and even he’s been switching back to gin.

By J. Fergus

J. is an overbearing pizza snob who loves putting as much sugar as possible in cupcakes and coffee. They eagerly awaits diabetes.

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