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Why Creamy Peanut Butter Is — And Always Will Be — Better Than Chunky

It’s an age old debate which in truth reveals much more about a person than simple taste preference: Creamy or Chunky?

But the way I see it, it isn’t really that much of a debate, and it really has only two possible outcomes. You can either enjoy peanut butter the way it’s meant to be enjoyed (the very valid reasons for which are listed below). Or you can be terribly, terribly wrong.

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Creamy is smooth.

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Picthx Wellthy

It’s refined.

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Picthx Open Source Food

It’s the kinda nut butter you’d be proud to take home to your parents.

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Picthx Sun Coast Coop

And spend long nights all snuggled up with by the fireplace, reading Ernest Hemingway and drinking Cabernet Sauvignon.

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Recipe for Peanut Butter Pot de Crème with Red Wine Suicide here.

It isn’t lumpy or rough around the edges.

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Picthx Pretty Yummy Foods

And when it comes to sexy times, you just know it’d be a lot gentler than chunky would, in all the right ways.

FOOD PEANUTBUTTER 2 KC

Picthx Sun Orchard

And speaking of sexy times, the name “Creamy” just sounds sexier.

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Picthx Windy Sydney

Try it with me for a sec.

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Picthx Peanut Butter Lovers

Creamy.

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Picthx Cook Republic

Ooh, yeahh, creamyyy.

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Picthx whoaitsaimz

OH MY GOD, CREEAAAMYYYYYY!

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Picthx predrink

Frankly, chunky peanut butter just can’t compare.

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Picthx Lucky Taste Buds

It isn’t smooth, it isn’t refined, it isn’t even fully developed.

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Picthx Frugal Village

It’s like someone was in the middle of making perfect, delicious, velvety-smooth butter and then decided—fuggit!–#YOLO

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Picthx French Fries to Flax Seeds

And left all these awful, jagged pieces of peanut lying around.

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Picthx Little Things Big Things

But the texture is what makes it delicious? Please. I mean, why don’t you just eat plain peanuts if you love the texture so damn much?

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Picthx Wiki

Just look at those things.

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Picthx ardentepicure

They look like measles.

Toshiba Digital Camera

Picthx KMKeen

Or vomit chunks, ew.

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Picthx Gourmet Gibbs

And I don’t want them anywhere near my precious peanut butter.

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Picthx Photo Fenix

Not to mention the fact chunky peanut butter is super anti-social and terrible at mixers.

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Picthx Cooking Whims

Or the completely-verified, completely-scientific fact that creamy is 78% less likely to kill you or break your teeth (probably).

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Picthx javcon

Plus, according to this guy, chunky peanut butter is for communists.

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In sum, creamy peanut butter is the best kind of peanut butter, period.

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Picthx Pretty Yummy Foods

I rest my case. Court dismissed, bring in the dancing bananas.

By Dominique Zamora

Dominique would be a foodie if she had money to pay for food. For now, she gets by just looking at food photography, which results in at least one more starving journalism student every time Instagram breaks down.

23 replies on “Why Creamy Peanut Butter Is — And Always Will Be — Better Than Chunky”

You’ve got to be kidding me. As any REAL enthusiast would attest to, plain peanut butter and chunky peanut butter both have their uses. I know people like you. You are so petty and pathetic that you need to make comparisons to fill a void in your otherwise meaningless life. Nit picking at every little thing like you’re entitled to pass judgement on every sheep thing that comes your sheep way.

It’s just peanut butter. So what if I like chunky peanut butter sandwich sometimes? I don’t need YOU to go off sounding like you’re better than me because your preference for peanut butter happens to be different from mine. Get off your high horse and learn to respect people’s differences.

Comparing chunky peanut butter to vomit? Are you kidding me? Are you ten years old? Why are you writing like one? You should be ashamed of the terrible content you’re putting out. If you actually wrote an interesting article you wouldn’t need to rely on theatrics like dancing bananas to keep people’s attention. I would not insult but when you start insulting ME by comparing my favorite kind of food to vomit, all bets are off.

While we’re on topic, creamy peanut butter looks just like poop. Oh, right- somehow you overlooked that crucial little fact. Pathetic. Absolutely pathetic. The second picture could also pass for vomit or diarrhea.

On this subject you opine, I must agree,
To wit and beyond the N’th degree,
Put creamy in a Kong,
Puppy will love it all day long,
Besides, T’was preferred by the Knights that say Nee!

The fact that this article includes pictures of things that only pretend to be peanut butter but actually have more than two
ingredients (I spotted the nasty stuff before I got to the picture of
the bottle: JIF? JIF???) make every single point ever made by the author
in her life questionable, and anything she says about food may be safely ignored. Sorry Dominique but it’s time for you to step out of the kitchen and let someone who knows what they’re doing take over.

The fact that this article includes pictures of things that only pretend to be peanut butter but actually have more than two
ingredients (I spotted the nasty stuff before I got to the picture of
the bottle: JIF? JIF???) make every single point ever made by the author
in her life questionable, and anything she says about food may be safely ignored. Sorry Dominique but it’s time for you to step out of the kitchen and let someone who knows what they’re doing take over.

gaiz, i like both but the article was meant to be tongue-in-cheek / funny, and on that point we can debate. but god DAMN do some of you take this seriously. it’s just peanut butter! my real qualm is with that processed garbage masquerading as peanut butter. peanut butter contains at most two things: peanuts and salt. throw that Skippy / Jif nonsense in the trash and get some real peanut butter, chunky OR smooth.

My point exactly. For most of us peanut butter is part of our first cooking experience (toast, sandwiches), so if you don’t know what peanut butter is what exactly do you know?

i like creamy on somethings, french toast, waffles, anything it’s going to melt on. But when it comes to cookies or the classic sandwich, chunky is the way to go, it’s got texture, crunch. Creamy is like eating paste, tasty paste, but none the less a sticky glue like gob that tars up the mouth and sticks to the roof of it.

The important thing is whether your peanut butter is made out of peanuts (and maybe salt), or made out of peanuts with added fats, oils, and sugar. Good peanut butter doesn’t need palm oil or hydrogenated fats to make it spread better, and it doesn’t need sugar to make it more addictive to kids.
All that new “easy-spread” peanut butter that’s been showing up lately is just adding grease.

Although I’m strongly in favor of chunky peanut butter, my real objection is the fact that this is an article in the first place, on a supposed “premiere food news resource” no less. Seriously? In what universe does this constitute journalism? Sorry if it’s harsh, but this “article” is totally pointless.

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