I Learned Something Devastating About Froot Loops Cereal Today


First things first, yes, check the box. They’re spelled “Froot Loops,” not “Fruit Loops.” We know, right?

Second, the outrage. Honestly, is there no end to the high fructose corn syrup lies? It turns out the “fruit flavored” circles touted by Toucan S[c]am are actually just “froot-blend”-flavored.Yep, all those pretty ROYGBV dyes don’t mean diddly, since each color tastes exactly the same!

Q&A site The Straight Dope (via Reddit) reports that, just as that blue tropical bird mascot hasn’t changed since the cereal’s creation in 1962, neither has Froot Loops’ flavor — that’s flavor, singular. According to Wikipedia, “The cereal pieces are ring-shaped (hence ‘loops’) and come in a variety of bright colors and a blend of fruit flavors (hence ‘froot’),” and not “fruit.”


Of course, not keen on destroying precious childhood memories, we decided to do a little blind taste testing ourselves, only to find that each loop does in fact taste like mildly sweetened cardboard, with negligible or no differences between them.




(Method: We handed our three blind tasters random samples of Froot Loops and asked them to guess which color they had been given. The results were pretty sporadic, with nearly each color being wrongly identified as around three or four others. The yellow loop, for example, was guessed to be red, orange, and purple twice; the purple loop, red twice, and then yellow, and green. Our Trix and Fruity Pebbles tests afterward yielded similar results.)

Basically, all our childhood heroes are nothing but big fat liars. Infinite tears. </3




By Dominique Zamora

Dominique would be a foodie if she had money to pay for food. For now, she gets by just looking at food photography, which results in at least one more starving journalism student every time Instagram breaks down.

11 replies on “I Learned Something Devastating About Froot Loops Cereal Today”

They only started tasting like cardboard when they did that switch to whole grains with more fiber, which is also when I stopped eating them. They tout those things on the box as if they’re supposed to be a benefit, but what a joke. Prior to that they were pretty darn tasty.

Doobie – I got one for you: somebody complained to the company (Quaker Oats?) that the ol’ man doesn’t have the correct amount of stripes on his coat – and demanded that the either demote him or fix the uniform!

Correct. On the current box art “Captian” Crunch wears 3 stripes on his sleeve cuff. That denotes a Commander (O-5) in both the US and Royal (UK) Navies. A Captian wears 4 stripes.

I’m trying to figure out where the “lie” is… They never say that each ring is supposed to represent a particular “froot”. If you’re tasting differences, you’re tasting the dye.

I never knew that. I have been lied to and plan to file a frivolous lawsuit against Kellogg, the city of Battle Creek, Michigan for irreparable damage to my youth. I also plan to sue all of you posters that knew of the scam, and never revealed the horrifying details of this to me sooner. Plan to hear from my lawyers in the near future. Quoting from Apocalypse Now “The Horror. . . . The Horror”

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