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This Knife-Wielding Monkey Got Drunk And Became Furious George

Trying to deal with a drunk man wielding a knife is a scary thought, but something about the unpredictability of a belligerent monkey parading around with a Santoku knife like a blade-licking psychopath really puts the fear of God in you.

The capuchin monkey (we’ll call him Stabby) simply walked into a Brazilian bar and began downing a rum beverage he found on the bar top.

Shortly after Stabby got his lil’ buzz on, he decided to pull an OJ and grabbed the biggest knife he could find. The furry alcoholic then retreated to the roof and began swinging the knife wildly at anybody that tried to get close and blow his buzz. At one point it even looked as though he was waiting for someone to walk underneath him so he could drop it on top of them, a la Christian Bale in American Psycho.

Eventually, Stabby was caught and released back into the wildlife reserve, only to be captured again and put on time out after getting a little rough with some of the local children.

Photo Credit: Cracked, YouTube, Fox 5

By Sean Fahmy

Sean's favorite foods are hot wings, cheeseburgers, seafood and gummy candy. He will likely die from both diabetes and obesity, or "diabesity." He's cool with that.

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