Categories
Hit-Or-Miss

Too Corny? There’s a Tamale Perfume Now

“I could go wild and try to create a ‘pollo’ one or an ‘al pastor’ one,” perfumer Zorayda Ortiz tells DNAinfo Chicago, referring to a chicken or pork tamale scented oil she’s thinking of designing. Honey, just having a plain tamale scented one is bad enough.

Fortunately the first two ideas seem to be just that – ideas – but that third one. That third one, titled simply “Tamale,” is part of Ortiz’s newest perfume line and attempts to capture the culture of the Chicago’s Pilsen neighborhood.

Now, like with the sushi perfume we discovered a while back, it’s hard to imagine what effect any sort of food-inspired scent could have on a person aside from making them hungry. But if culinary scents are here to stay, especially those inspired by specific locations, it’s not too much to ask for an In-N-Out Secret Sauce scent for us So Cal peeps, is it?

Didn’t think so.

H/T Huff Po, PixThx Tavallai

Categories
Products

Why Not? Overalls for Your Wine Bottles

If you’re planning on bringing a nice bottle of Shiraz to a country hoedown or a dry Riesling to a southern picnic, why not, you know, make it a little bit fancy?

Don’t even think about about holding back — yeah, you know you want a pair of overalls for your wine. We stumbled upon Archie McPhee’s Vinderalls (believe us, we can’t even make this stuff up if we tried) and are… well… to be honest, slightly puzzled.

Is this, uh, attire supposed to keep our prime bottle of vino feeling slightly hipsterish, or just plain ridiculous? Because the only thing we remember about overalls is how much of a struggle it used to be to use the bathroom in third grade.

As Incredible Things so kindly points out, wine also has underpantsvinderhosen and ugly Christmas sweaters in its wardrobe. Not gonna lie, we’re kind of feeling left out.

Wine Overalls: $12.50 @ Amazon

via Incredible Things

Categories
Restaurants

Denny’s With Wedding Chapel – When You Have to Elope and Everywhere Else is Closed

Mega-chains do well to customize their locations to the local area where they reside. I remember seeing local high school sports memorabilia in an Applebee’s at a (very) young age and special murals honoring the local surf scene run throughout my local Trader Joe’s and Albertsons.

Denny’s new flagship location in downtown Las Vegas is cashing in on the local brand with a full cocktail bar and – I wish I was kidding – a wedding chapel. Nothing says ‘our special day’ quite like the drab late-night diner I go to expecting and consistently receiving the worst service and most pedestrian food possible.

In formulating a properly cheeky title for this post, my instinct was to work in a jab about pancake puppies – one of the restaurant’s more high profile items. I couldn’t quite find the joke to fit the space and I quickly found that Denny’s had beat me to the punch anyway. Chief Marketing Officer Frances Allen is not hesitant to advertise the store’s special wedding cake made out of the little fried balls of batter.

Other unique attractions of this special Denny’s include a photo booth (with instant upload to Facebook and Twitter, because phones totally don’t do that), a bacon-flavored martini, and two Elvis-themed offerings – the King Stack and King Milkshake – both consisting of bananas, bacon, and peanut butter. I guess they haven’t seen that South Park episode in which Cartman loses himself to Baconalia.

The unintentional self-parody doesn’t stop there, with CMO Allen citing Denny’s as “the original social network.” I know not to take marketing mumbo-jumbo too seriously and she is clearly referring to online social networks, but I think there are some ancient hominids out there that would take serious offense to that claim on its face. But hey, I’m not one to impose my haughty standards on the masses that keep Denny’s 1,680 worldwide locations thriving. I just fear that the first couple to post their Denny’s wedding pics on Facebook are in for a viral backlash only Rebecca Black could handle.

via NRN

Categories
Hit-Or-Miss

WTF? This 36-Year-Old Twinkie Looks Surprisingly Edible

Oh, the power of preservatives.

Preservatives are basically a form of dark magic or some type of cool sorcery, we think. Because these chemicals can pretty much do anything, including keep a Twinkie looking mighty tasty and (mostly) intact for well over three decades.

It was recently revealed that a single Twinkie, dating back to 1976, is still in one piece. The Hostess snack cake was originally part of a classroom experiment at George Stevens Academy in Maine. At the time, science teacher Roger Bennatti decided to test the limits of the preservatives and the cream-filled confection by placing it on a shelf next to his desk, where it sat for over 28 years.

36 whopping years later, the Twinkie is still around. It now sits (uneaten) in a glass case in the dean of students’ office at the very same school, and looks pretty unscathed by time (notice we said LOOKS, guys). Despite all of the time that’s gone by, it hasn’t grown any weird mold — yet! But truth be told, we’re not sure how we should feel about this — happy? Sad? Amazed? Relieved? Hungry?

Sure, Hostess fans are mourning the fact that Twinkies may soon be en route to extinction, but perhaps that doesn’t matter — if you happen to stumble upon one of these sweet treats, you’ll know you can hoard save it for a couple years until that rainy day or special occasion… or maybe not. Just, uh, let us know how it goes, okay?

via WCBV.com

Categories
Technology

Hard Cider Phone Home – The First Digital Bottle Cap is Here

Do you ever find yourself raging up in the club, fist-pumping the night away with attractive people, but worried your Dom P or Cristal bottle service doesn’t look expensive enough? Well, Kanye West, don’t worry. UK cider giant Strongbow is currently prototyping the StartCap – a bottle top with the kind of smart RFID chip you’d find in a passport or credit card that can trigger remote actions once opened.

RFID technology can use an antenna to trigger just about anything you connect it to and has found uses in road-detecting car tires and casino poker chips. Strongbow lays out some fun use cases in its promo video but logic dictates that if this technology reaches the mass market, the functions tied to the smart caps would likely be controlled by the company – or at least the watering holes selling the stuff. I’m sure the more hacking-inclined out there would commandeer the technology for their own custom use, but for the rest of us this innovation doesn’t seem very useful for the consumer beyond alerting the authorities that they need to sell you more alcohol.

None of the advertised use cases for the StartCap make sense. Picture it: you open your Strongbow Gold and it activates music, turns on lights, fires a confetti cannon, or checks you in on Foursquare. What about the next person who cracks open a bottle? Does it skip to the next song? Turn off the lights? Make them strobe on and off? Fire the confetti cannon again? And how is it going to know who you are to check you in online? You start asking some questions and all of a sudden Strongbow seems mighty suspect.

Interestingly, the most recent comments on the Strongbow video decry the idea as a ripoff and redirect to a Dutch advertising student’s concept video from May 2011 that seems to understand that advertising and actual usefulness do not have to be mutually exclusive in these types of marketing gimmicks. The video, seemingly done on spec for native Heineken, illustrates a smart bottle opener that triggers the creation of a Facebook event page for the awesome spontaneous Heineken party you just started automagically. Not that RFIDs are prohibitively expensive or this application is significantly more useful, but having the chip in one durable device rather than distributed to every bottle cap that’s going to end up falling to the floor and being trampled on by the end of the night seems much more practical.

“Start anything you want,” the Strongbow video promises. Well, start anything you want; as long as that thing is something the company pushing silly RFID bottle caps also wants.

via DesignTAXI/ photo courtesy of Strongbow (YouTube)

Categories
Humor

This Eggplant Has a Face – Why in the WORLD Does This Eggplant Have a Face?!

Tumblr, in its typical simple photographic fashion, has brought us some joy from the behind the scenes at Trader Joe’s. Apparently when eggplants with peculiar growth – like an extra phallic Easter Island statue – arrive at the store, the employees get to have fun in the back adding additional anthropomorphic features and take photos to post online.

This is no miracle like Jesus appearing on toasted bread, given my assumptions about the eyes and mouth being human-aided. But I still hope someone names the eggplant and subsequently eats the entire thing.

via hey can i borrow like 5 bucks

Categories
Packaged Food

Lonely, Lazy, or Stranded in the Woods? Christmas Dinner in a Can!

This wholesome meal of turkey casserole, winter vegetables, sausage, stuffing, and cranberry sauce sounds great until you discover that it comes in a can that magically heats itself. I’m sure the “totally safe exothermic reaction” that ‘cooks’ the ‘food’ isn’t actually harmful, but I’m going to stay far away from this meal long after the 12 minutes it takes to heat up. The Firebox store claims that HotCans are “nutritionally balanced” and “really rather delish,” but something tells me they aren’t much more than a sodium mash that would put a bag of Fritos to shame.

There are suspiciously few photos of the contents of the can and the one gif they provide makes it look like soup. They also have 4 additional flavors for those looking to enjoy magic canned food year round: Bangers & Beanz, Vegetable Chilli, Chicken Curry with Rice, and my favorite – Beanz with Balls. HotCans – the cure for cowardly beanz!

via Firebox

Categories
Packaged Food

Report Suggests Industry Should Market Frozen Food on Freshness. Wait, What?

According to a recent report by Packaged Facts, retail sales of frozen foods (excluding beverages and desserts) are set to experience sluggish growth over the next five years. Their suggestion: emphasize freshness. I get it; technically, freezing food stops time and locks out the bacteria that leads to decay and preserves nutrients and all that good stuff.

But seriously food industry? Are you going to go for this? Healthy Choice is already pushing “fresh-tasting” as packaging copy, which is a dubious qualifier that makes me question whether it’s fresh because it was frozen as such or because they engineered it to be so. I don’t think there’s any way to make “frozen fresh” not a complete oxymoron in the minds of the American consumer. This semantic complexity over just what defines “fresh” seems a little information heavy for an industry that relies on split-second deception in labeling.

via Food Business News / photo courtesy Cooked From the Heart