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Hit-Or-Miss

Only in Florida: Nude Men Break into a Restaurant to Steal 60 Hamburgers, 3 Pounds of Bacon

What do you do if you’re in Florida, naked with your bros and really really hungry? Break into a restaurant and do a really bad job at being subtle, apparently.

Last Sunday, surveillance cameras at Doc’s Beach House in Bonita Springs caught two naked men and one undies-clad assistant breaking and entering the establishment in search of munchies. In the video, the hungry bandits stumble around haphazardly in search of grub, before finally hauling away 60 hamburgers, 3 pounds of bacon, 3 red peppers and a paddleboard. This all happened at approximately 3 am, of course.

Taking a page from Hansel and Gretel, the three thieves left a trail of red peppers on the beach near a bathhouse. The police have yet to find the thieves, but that shouldn’t be too hard. Just look for a pair of undies next to the half-eaten bacon burgers.

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H/T news-press

Categories
Hit-Or-Miss

Woman Found Weed in Her Sonic Order, Inexplicably Complained

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Someone scored some free weed with their order at a Sonic Drive-In in Maryland, and they actually didn’t keep it. Instead, Carla McFarland complained to the manager and called the police.

One of the employees claimed the baggy of weed and said it probably slipped out of her apron. The employee was fired and the Sonic manager apologized to McFarlane.

Some might have seen this as a gift and paid it forward, but McFarland was irate.

“I just kind of sat there in my car in shock. I kept thinking, what if my kids had eaten it,” McFarland told the Frederick News Post. “It could have been crack. It could have been cocaine in that little baggie.”

She posted about her experience on Facebook and was promptly made fun of by her friends. She’s still probably the only one who didn’t find this story funny.

H/T Frederick News Post

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Fast Food

So a Stabbed Man with a Knife in His Back Walks into McDonald’s…

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A man walked into a Queens McDonald’s Tuesday morning, CBS reports. The victim, witnesses say, had a rather large kitchen knife buried  in his back and was talking on the phone. Apparently, he was speaking to someone close to him on the other line, saying that it could very well be the last time they hear from him.

Witnesses say the victim had gotten into a fight earlier down the street where the stabbing probably occurred. He was taken to the hospital after passing out at the McDonald’s, while police are currently looking for two men involved in the stabbing.

If I was stabbed, McDonald’s would probably be the last place I’d walk into. In-N-Out, maybe. Though probably without the giant knife still in my back.

H/T CBS New York

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Hit-Or-Miss

Artist Eats His Own Hip for a Romantic Dinner with His Girlfriend

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That awkward moment when cannibalism becomes art.

Norwegian artist Alexander Selvik Wengshoel got a hip replacement and convinced his doctor to let him use it for his performance art. Although he initially wasn’t sure what he’d do with it, he ultimately decided to cook his hip and eat it.

Wengshoel, 21, was born with a hip deformity and told The Local that he spent the entire year trying to convince his doctors to let him film his hip replacement procedure, and he even got to keep the hip.

“The hipbone had been such a problem for me for over 20 years, and it was just a way of making it better again,” he said. “It had been so hard to have it in my body, and when I took it out, it turned into something else, something romantic. It was a natural process I felt I had to do to move on.”

Of course, he didn’t just sit home alone, eating a plate of hip while watching Mad Men in his underwear, he actually made a special event out of it for him and his girlfriend. They shared his hip bone over a romantic dinner and had some potatoes au gratin and some wine. You have to appreciate a guy who cooks for his girlfriend.

I had to boil off the meat to get to the bone, and when I started scraping off the meat, I took off a little piece and I thought, ‘why not do it?’ It’s not every day I will have a piece of human flesh which is mine and which it is possible to eat.

Wengshoel received mixed reactions from his colleagues at the Tromsø Academy of Contemporary Art, as some liked it, while other told him it was not really art. If you asked Wengshoel, however, he said it tasted like “wild sheep.”

H/T The Norway