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Bringing Pot To The Potluck: Inside A Weed Infused Thanksgiving Dinner

Take a second to envision your ideal thanksgiving dinner. For me, it’s a table surrounded by my closest friends and family. The tabletop is packed with every potato dish imaginable, stuffing, cranberry sauce and drinks. The kitchen echoes with laughter and the rhythmic clanking of dishes. In the center of the table, a large carved turkey sits, steaming, oozing the luscious, seasoned juices the night’s appointed chef prepared for us to enjoy. And the two most important things, a few homemade pumpkin pies — and my bong.

While most of us who partake in cannabis might not be able to bring our favorite party favor to a family thanksgiving, I had a chance to experience the next best thing at Blüm’s 1st Annual Blüm THCsgiving POTluck.

I was stoked for the festivities to begin, long before dinner started. I got word that some heavy weights from the Orange County food scene would be catering our potluck. Heritage Barbecue, was an awesome surprise, due to the buzz they’ve created around the OC brewery scene. For some context, Heritage has been a pop-up barbecue spot, drawing tremendous early morning crowds at breweries from Fullerton to Huntington Beach and beyond. And just based on my general curiosity surrounding the non-dairy ice cream trend, I heard Hug Life Anti-Dairy Ice Cream was on dessert duty, so my interest was definitely piqued.

blum thcsgiving

It’s been a few years since California voters decided recreational cannabis should be a God-given right to anyone over the age of 21, and everyone seems to be enjoying themselves. That was the vibe Blüm delivered at a private residence tucked in the Laguna Beach foothills on a foggy November evening, as strangers and new friends gathered to celebrate one of the longest unspoken practices in the history of Thanksgiving — getting high before dinner.

With the help of a few High Style THC-infused beers, a sip or two of some Kikoko Teas tasty cannabis-infused sangria, a variety of Henry’s Original pre-rolled joints and a unique Thanksgiving turkey-shaped glass pipe, I was ready to give thanks with everyone I came in contact with. Most of all, I was ready to eat! Still, nothing could have prepared me for the Turkey Day miracle I experienced at the dinner table.

Four words: Heritage. Barbecue. Smoked. Turkey. That’s the only thing I can think about since that night. This was masterful turkey, the best turkey I’ve ever eaten. It was the best turkey you’ve ever eaten. In fact, that turkey inspired me so much, my dad and I are going to smoke a turkey on Thanksgiving. I’m going to smoke other things too, but smoking a turkey for the first time ever will be a great father/son bonding experience. Even if it’s not Heritage standards.

I spoke with Danny Castillo, owner and pit master of Heritage, about what made his turkey so damn delicious. The magic happens after a five-day brine, which consists of salt, sugar, rosemary, thyme, garlic, sage and lemons. After, he uses a mixture of paprika, salt and pepper as a dry rub to coat the outside of the bird. The rest is pretty straightforward with temperature and just watching it to achieve the desired color you’re after. Thanks for the tips, Danny. If we’re lucky maybe Danny will add his artisan smoked turkey to Heritage’s menu when their first brick and mortar opens in San Juan Capistrano in 2020.

So, there I was, glassy-eyed, stuffed to the brim with a combination of the best smoked turkey ever, Social’s delicious brussels sprouts, countless dinner rolls and High Style — when the dessert tray rolled out. My eyes grew bigger with every available item, colorful Rice Krispies treats, cookies, cakes, brownies, the list went on.

If you know me, dessert isn’t always a walk in the park — when it comes to my dairy allergy. Hug Life hit the spot, but my craving for munchies was still peaking, after two cups of Reese’s Peaces I still wanted more.

When it comes to sweets, it’s pretty easy to pick what I want to eat — but not always the best choice considering my dairy allergy. Yet, I was surprised to see a THC-infused, dairy-free treat screaming my name. Kiva Camino Gummy topped No Bake Cheesecake Bites — made with dairy-free cream cheese, graham crackers and reduced Kiva Camino Gummies. I probably a dozen, at least.

As the night came to an end, I began to reflect on the evening, my body & mind vibrating with highness, my mouth stuck in a blissfully permanent grin. As we hopped in our Uber, I couldn’t wait to share this experience with my friends. Then it hit me, a few years ago, something like this might have been impossible to talk about, yet it felt so natural.

While it might take a few years before I can clear space for my bong at Thanksgiving dinner table, it was a pleasure to attend Blüm’s 1st Annual THCsgiving Dinner to enjoy some quality time with like-minded folks celebrating life as they see fit. Hopefully, my experience can illustrate that just a simple evening with friends can be accomplished anytime, with some good food, and some open minds. I think that’s enough to be thankful for all year.

So, same time next year?

 

Created in partnership with Blüm

  • This content was created in partnership with Blüm.
  • These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration.
  • These products are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.
  • The statements in this article are for informational and educational purposes only. This does not constitute an advertisement or offer to sell any marijuana or other cannabis-derived products. It is intended for persons over the age of 21.
  • Although Marijuana is recreationally legal in California and Nevada, you must be at least 21 years of age to buy, possess or consume cannabis products of any kind. It is illegal to sell or advertise cannabis-derived products to anyone under the age of 21 or in locations where persons under 21 are expected to be found.
  • Do not over consume any drug or controlled substance, even if it is legal to do so.
  • Always use good judgment when consuming marijuana, and do so responsibly.
  • Marijuana can impair your judgment and the ability to operate kitchen appliances and engage in sports or other physical activities.
  • Consuming marijuana in food can lead to intoxication; users should be careful to not engage in risky behavior, dangerous or complicated activities if under the intoxicating effects of marijuana.
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News Products Science Technology What's New

KIVA Feeds Your Holiday Spirit With New Cannabis-Infused Turkey Gravy

The holidays are right around the corner and Kiva Confections have cooked up some cannabis-infused turkey gravy for your Thanksgiving grubdown. It’s a limited edition sauce you’d probably reserve for your Friendsgivings, unless your family is super cool like that. Besides the savory flavor choice, it reportedly only takes 2-15 minutes to feel the effects of Kiva’s latest invention. It’s roadrunner fast and sounds like the perfect topping for your Thanksgiving favorites. 

The fast-acting effects are achieved by using technology involving individually encapsulated molecules that transform cannabinoids. These isolated molecules are small enough to be absorbed directly into your body’s endocannabinoid receptors. Cannabinoid receptors, part of the endocannabinoid system, are located throughout the body. They play a role in a range of physiological processes including mood, appetite, pain-sensation, and memory. With this technology, Kiva’s turkey gravy is fast-acting and said to offer the most bioavailable cannabinoids in edible form. Bioavailability in cannabis is the percentage of CBD that is actually absorbed into the bloodstream. You no longer have to wait 30 minutes or more like traditional cannabis-infused consumables. Fortunately, the packaging provides clear directions for first time users.

Not stopping at gravy, Kiva plans to use the new technology for an extended line of holiday-inspired products arriving this December. How does cannabis-infused hot cocoa sound? I’m willing to bet peppermint sticks is somewhere in there, or maybe cannabis-infused cotton candy that resembles Santa Claus’ beard. I’m making this up of course.

Time will soon reveal what Kiva Confections has in store for our holiday spirits. Until then, you can quell some curiosity by trying out their new turkey gravy. Southern California-based folks can get their hands on the sauce starting today at all Sweet Flower locations and in NorCal at Grassroots in San Francisco.

Categories
Drinks News Products What's New

Kickback This Fall With CBD LEMONADE

 

The other day, I walked into a grocery store and saw an entire rack of CBD products being sold, from topical creams to essential oils. Even after months of being legal here in California, it’s still odd to see such open consumption of a marijuana-based product. But CBD is everywhere now, being marketed as the magic extraction that provides the stress relief of weed without the high. It’s sold in every way possible– coffee, food, you name it. Hell, even Neiman Marcus sells overly expensive, bug-sized CBD products. Now, it’s being sold in a lemonade, as LA-based Kickback recently dropped a CBD lemonade.

Their new drink comes in three flavors, Mellow Mango, Strawberry Sunshine, and the ever-descriptive Lemony Lemon, that can all be purchased from https://enjoykickback.com/

Now, the thing with CBD products now-a-days is that it’s easy to get caught up in the linguistics of the branding and end up not getting quite what you bargained for. 

According to the wrapper on the Mellow Mango, each bottle contains “5mg of Broad Spectrum Nano CBD” and is also infused with the terpene myrcene, which is a different chemical extract of marijuana. Due to Kickback’s “proprietary extraction method,” their CBD, when combined with myrcene, creates an effect five times that of “regular CBD.” So, by their calculations, each bottle contains what “feels like” 25mg of whatever regular CBD is considered to be.

Now, I’m no scientist, but as a reader of words, my eyebrows were firmly raised. Doing some preliminary research, the effects of myrcene are murky

So, naturally, it was time to try these guys out. My editor, Reach Guinto, and I popped open the slickly designed glass bottles (he the Strawberry Sunshine and I the Mellow Mango) and glugged away, hoping for the best. 

Taste-wise, I was a fan of mine. Mellow Mango also comes with a hit of ginger which gives it a needed zing that keeps you coming back for another drink. Reach, on the other hand, was not a fan of his drink’s taste, but kept it pushing for the content. It takes a warrior’s mindset to be a Foodbeast.

He was, however, a fan of his drink’s effect.

“I feel pretty relaxed right now, man.” he went on to tell me a while later. 

As did I. It might not have removed my anxieties (nothing short of a meteor striking the Earth and physically removing these worries would do that), but I felt relaxed and a calm mindset come over me post-drink.

Who knows if it feels like 25mg of “regular CBD,” the bottom line is the drink does, in fact, have some effect, and is a marijuana-based product that’s available for the public. You’ll see no complaints here. 

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#foodbeast Adventures Culture Food Festivals Health Pop-Ups

KIVA Confections Elevates Cannabis Culture at Outside Lands Music Festival

Photo by Omari Allen

Recently San Francisco held their 11th annual Outside Lands Music Festival in Golden Gate Park. Like any music festival, the bill featured a long list of performers across a wide range of genres. Aside from great music, the main draw to Outside Lands is its emphasis on food, wine, and art. San Francisco is known for its restaurant scene and with Napa Valley and Sonoma nearby, its wine scene is pretty poppin’ too. Each year Outside Lands invites visitors to feel like a San Franciscan for a weekend in what may be described as a love letter to the city. 

Another thing San Francisco is famous for is it’s cannabis culture. Haight-Ashbury, a district widely known as the birthplace of the hippie movement, has had a storied history with cannabis. The first well known cannabis dispensary, or “head shop,” was called Ron and Jay Thelin’s Psychedelic Shop, which opened in 1966 and grew, along with others, to become a major hub for the hippie movement. Steeped in counter-establishment ideals and widespread drug use, the movement was regarded by mainstream society as naive and idealistic. Popular terms used to describe hippies were tree-hugger, beatnik, granola, liberal, and the most notorious, stoner. 


Photo: MK Feeney on Flickr, Attribution 2.0 Generic (CC BY 2.0)

The “stoner” image still stigmatizes cannabis culture, although the movement dissipated long ago. Only in recent years has the word shed some of its negative connotation, gaining popularity through entertainment and the internet. With access to information and a global community, the benefits of cannabis began to see the light of day. One example of progress was this year’s aforementioned Outside Lands Music Festival. It wasn’t the first year OSL allowed visitors to consume cannabis, but it was the first time it has been legally sold at a music festival. I was curious to experience the “experiment” first hand, especially the booth by California-based brand, KIVA Confections. The edible market has evolved considerably in the past few years and KIVA is at the forefront.


Photo by Omari Allen

KIVA Confections was started in 2010. Their goal was to offer cannabis edibles that were potent, consistent and tasty.  At the time, the cannabis edible market was less regulated, having a more inconsistent homemade quality. KIVA co-founders Scott Palmer & Kristi Knoblich saw an opportunity to elevate the cannabis edible. Searching for fresh approaches to cannabis infusion, they consulted with a local chocolatier which helped bring everything into focus. They next met with expert cannabis cultivators and certified analytics laboratories to ensure the highest quality product. Like with any start up, it took some effort before they landed on the perfect edible. Fast forward to today and KIVA Confections, through efficacy, food safety, and business integrity, has become one of the leading California-based cannabis edibles. They have maintained their mission to offer a premium cannabis experience for customers. I witnessed this first hand during my visit to their confectionary booth at Outside Lands.


Photo courtesy of KIVA Confections

If you’ve never attended Outside Lands, it is made up of different “lands” which offer unique experiences. For example, if you’re looking for libation, there is Beer Land and Wine Land. And for “canna-bation,” there’s Grass Lands, a sprawling stoner paradise perfectly situated under a shadowy canopy of tall blue gum eucalyptus trees. The Grass Lands were definitely the chillest land around, filled with a wide range of cannabis vendors, smoking sections and interactive activities. Located squarely in the center, and standing out amongst the more subdued color palettes of neighboring vendors, was the KIVA Confectionary booth. 

Photo courtesy of KIVA Confections

The booth was shining white with gold trim and had a See’s Candies feel, an aesthetic akin to quality confectionaries consumers are typically familiar with. Workers were dressed in white dress shirts with black aprons, wearing white 5-panel baseball caps which added a hip, yet classy feel. Festival-goers bustled around the booth, patiently waiting to get their hands on one of KIVA’s confections. My personal favorite was the dark chocolate KIVA bar with the Camino pineapple habanero gummies being a close runner up. KIVA’s chocolate tastes rich, full and creamy yet has a subdued bite with a balanced sweetness. Their gummies melt in your mouth. The pineapple habanero flavor leaves a slight tingly feeling on the tongue, adding a spicy kick to the sweet flavor profile. With only 5 milligrams of THC in each serving, microdosing KIVA’s confections offers a smooth and subtle high, perfect to experience over the course of a day. Interactive stations included mazes, a gumball machine, mystery drawers and a life-sized chocolate fountain, which unfortunately, I did not have the pleasure of swimming in.

Photo courtesy of KIVA Confections

KIVA Confections elevates cannabis culture through its aesthetic and focus on quality. The care they take can not only be tasted, but felt through the clean product design, informative packaging, and potency. With a blind taste test, it’d be hard to know that cannabis is in the product. But, you can certainly feel it. Like the cannabis taste, the microdosing effects are subtle as well — the perfect amount for first time cannabis edible users. Coincidentally, this aligns with the recent resurgence of “hippie ideals” in the last few years. In a time where legal medical and recreational cannabis use is prevalent, getting high doesn’t overshadow the actual benefits of cannabis use like it once did. By making more artisanal and thoughtful products, KIVA’s approach is helping to de-stigmatize the “lazy stoner” image. 

The confectionary booth attracted a wide range of festival-goers of various age groups and backgrounds, displaying how the culture is evolving into something the average consumer can enjoy.  It’s only a matter of time before cannabis-infused products are a norm at your local grocery store.

Photo courtesy of KIVA Confections
Categories
Alcohol Drinks Features

Blue Moon Creator Shares His Journey To Cannabis Beer And The Difficulties Behind The Brew

Photos courtesy Ceria Brewing

Late last year, Dr. Keith Villa, the founder of Blue Moon, launched his very own line of cannabis-infused beer name Ceria. Based in Colorado, the brew sold out almost immediately upon launch and has become a hot ticket purchase at local dispensaries in the state.

So what was the journey behind Ceria?

Villa, who holds a PhD in brewing from the University of Brussels in Belgium, began his career more than 30 years ago at MillerCoors. Upon his retirement, Villa and his wife immediately began their own brewery based out of Colorado.

His foray into weed beer actually began a little bit before his retirement from Blue Moon and parent company MillerCoors in 2018.

Photos courtesy Ceria Brewing

“In 2014, that’s when recreational cannabis became legal in the state of Colorado. At that time there was still a pretty large stigma around cannabis,” he recalled. “But I thought, it’s very possible to brew with cannabis because if you look at the genetics in the family tree of hops, you’ll see that cannabis is a close cousin of the hops plant.”

Ever the scientist, Villa began to test the concept afterhours.

“So I tried at home and on my own time because I never wanted to endanger the federal brewing permit of Blue Moon and Coors. So I always did it, all the cannabis experiments at home on my own time.”

That’s when the first semblance of Ceria came to existence.

“I found out quickly that, you can brew some beers with cannabis. That really got me to thinking, you know, this could be a whole new category because there are so many people who don’t drink alcohol for health reasons or religious reasons or whatever and they do want cannabis, because a lot of people believe cannabis does have healthful medicinal properties.”

Villa brought his wife onto the new venture, someone who has been working with him from the very start during all of his home tastings and tests.

“She lived with me in Belgium where I was getting my PhD. She’s one of the few people I know and trust that actually has lived in Belgium and can truly judge Belgian Beers and European-style beers.”

Photos courtesy Ceria Brewing

The two put their heads together and discovered that this could be an entirely new frontier that’s been untapped.

“We started figuring out right away that this could be a whole new category for beer. And so yeah, when we retired, we started Ceria Brewing Company and figured out right away that the best path forward was to focus on great tasting, non-alcoholic beers, craft beers that have the effects of cannabis and not the effects of alcohol. It was really hard creating a great tasting non-alcoholic beer. “

Villa didn’t seem like a man who would shy away from the challenge, however.

“Luckily with all my years of brewing experience as a brewmaster, I was able to create a series of non-alcoholic beers that taste really good. The next step is adding the cannabis in. So we have the effects of cannabis inside of a great smelling and great tasting craft beer.”

Photos courtesy Ceria Brewing

Working with cannabis and alcohol is an extremely tricky task. Dr. Villa explained that there were some major legal hurdles they had to overcome before launching their new product.

“Cannabis is federally illegal,” Villa states. “Though it is legal in the state of Colorado. So the first hurdle was alcohol, because the federal government, they strictly forbid anybody to put something that’s federally illegal into an alcoholic beverage. So you cannot add cannabis to it.”

“The Colorado Division of Revenue, through a subdivision called the Marijuana Enforcement Division (MED), is the agency who controls and regulates the cannabis industry,” Villa explains.

Essentially, you can’t add cannabis to an alcoholic product and you can’t add alcohol to a cannabis product in the state of Colorado.

“So it was real clear right away that we could not have an alcoholic product with cannabis,” he said. “That’s what necessitated me to create a great tasting non-alcoholic beer. So that was definitely the first hurdle.”

Once Villa nailed the taste he wanted for a non-alcoholic beer, he set his sights on a different obstacle.

“After that, the biggest hurdle was getting people to taste our product because so many have read about cannabis or heard about it. And so many are just afraid of getting stoned. Well, our product is always going to be a lower dose so that people can trust it and not get stoned. They can get a mild buzz off, but they won’t get stoned.”

Photos courtesy Ceria Brewing

Finally, Dr. Villa explains the rich history behind his company’s name.

“Ceria is actually from the Roman goddess of fertility and agriculture. She’s in history, she is the goddess of agriculture, meeting hops and cannabis. Her name is Ceres. That’s where we get the names, cereal — like breakfast cereal. That’s where we get the name of Ceria.”

Boasting a medium-bodied taste and some notes of citrus and a smooth malty finish, Ceria can be purchased at select dispensaries throughout the state of Colorado. Villa shares in parting that Ceria plans on expanding to other states in the upcoming months as well as the development of new flavors.

Categories
Celebrity Grub

NBA Star Caught Hiding Weed In Arizona Iced Tea Can

Photo courtesy of Erik Drost

Brooklyn Nets NBA All-Star D’Angelo Russell blew by a lot of defenders this season, but he couldn’t sneak by TSA on a recent flight from New York to Louisville, Kentucky.

Russell was caught at La Guardia Airport with a fake Arizona Iced Tea can that contained a hidden compartment within, according to the New York Post. There, Russell had less than 50 grams of marijuana that he was trying to travel with on the way to visit his pops in Louisville.

TSA found the can inside his checked-in luggage and he received a summons to appear in court, according to USA Today.

At least legally, Russell will get no more than a $100 slap on the wrist, but could face disciplinary action from the NBA. Even then, the collective bargaining agreement between the league and players association states that there wouldn’t be any suspension on a first offense. He could be required to enter the league’s marijuana program if convicted, though.

Fake Arizona cans aren’t hard to find, as for $14, you can grab one on Amazon. The can is supposedly “smell proof” and even feels weighted like a full can of the drink.

As far as sneaky containers, maybe he should have used these fake tampon containers or the fake baby container. No one would have questioned him. Probably.

Categories
#foodbeast Culture Feel Good Food Challenges FOODBEAST Hit-Or-Miss Humor Toasty

We Got Three FOODBEASTs Together For The Ultimate Junk Food Cooking Competition

In the spirit of the recent gridiron fervor, we here at Foodbeast decided to create some competition of our own all in the name of cooking and a blown mindstate. The willing advocates of both, who within our ranks stepped up as players in one aptly titled Gridiron Green Games, were myself, Elie Ayrouth, and Analiese Trimber. For particulars, this was going to be a Chopped-style cooking competition between the three of us, with the winner awarded rightful bragging rights and having the best reason to celebrate with a big fatty.

To help us in this journey to a culinary Kumite was blüm Dispensaries, who provided some of that loud from Korova called “Gelato,” known for its fruity, dessert-like aroma.

Now before we get right into the heat of the competition, let’s talk rules and other details.

Rules:

  • Contestants must finish a recipe of their choosing that incorporates all mandatory ingredients within the allotted time of 1 hour and 30 minutes — all while on an elevated plane.
  • The mandatory ingredients are: Eggs, popcorn, McDonald’s French fries, and OREOs.
  • Contestants’ dishes will be judged on a 10 point system based on: Completeness, Creativity, Secret Ingredients, Taste, Presentation.
  • Judging will consist of contestants scoring each other’s dishes, but not their own, and fellow Foodbeasts Evan Lancaster and Peter Pham.
  • The contestant with the most points total is the winner.

Contestants:

Analiese Trimber: The Bacon Princess, thinks Tom Brady is a bitch.

Dish: Stoner Breakfast Tacos with OREO mole sauce and handmade popcorn-infused corn tortillas.

 

Elie Ayrouth: Fearless and fierce in pushing the envelope, mastered the art of the one-eyed wink.

Dish: A trifecta of a meal that consists of Stoner Popcorn, a massive Big Mac Burrito and an OREO “Dunkaroos” dessert.



Reach Guinto: 
Fried chicken connoisseur, G-Eazy probably hates him.

Dish: Double-panko breaded Fried Chicken & Savory Potato Waffle w/ OREO Butter.

The following will be a time-stamped account of the events during the competition leading up to the announcement of the winner of Foodbeast’s Gridiron Green Games.

1:00pm — Evan begins rolling the fatty with the aid of the Otto by Banana Bros., an automatic joint roller, courtesy of blüm. It’s a nifty machine, really, fast-tracking rolling with ease and efficiency via a built-in grinder and apparatus that capably packs with Gelato flower.

1:20pm — After we all are done with setting up our designated cooking areas, the session begins. Elie is really hitting it extra hard. I hope he gets so blown that he won’t be able to finish his dish.

1:30pm — Let the Gridiron Green Games begin!

1:33pm — Elie, the tallest of the contestants: “I don’t understand how I get this little baby table and Analiese and Reach get tables that go up to their elbows. They’re playin’ me!”

1:40pm — At this point we’re all starting to appreciate the Gelato, which had its benefits and setbacks. Its benefits being a greater feeling of singular focus and drive. Setbacks coming in the form of me forgetting where I left my phone and searching for it for a solid two minutes.

1:50pm — Evan: “So far we know Analiese is incorporating chipotle pepper paste into what looks like a sauce of some sort, while Elie and Reach are both still cutting onions. Clearly, Annie is in the lead.”

1:51pm — I see Elie finishing up the chopping of his onions, then hear Evan warning anybody within earshot, “DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME.”

2:00pm — We’re at the peak levels of determination. Evidenced by a sudden hush in the kitchen as the Gelato-induced laser focus hits all of us, putting us in an elevated work mode. Analiese’s re-worked her mole sauce after she asked for feedback from other fellow Foodbeast and on-set photographer, Peter Pham, and I. Elie’s ready to work the stove after forming his burger patties. I’ve just completed my OREO butter by running OREOs and coconut oil in the food processor for approximately three to four minutes (tbh it seemed like an hour).

2:15pm — I command Siri to set a timer for three minutes. The remedial machine somehow doesn’t understand this so I am forced to set the timer manually. Evan walks by: “Um, it looks like you’ve set your timer for four hours right there.” Well damn.

2:31pm — Evan: “About an hour in and I feel like Reach has got a really good groove going on, Analiese does, too. Elie, I dunno, I caught him dancing for a little bit, then he chopped an onion for like 20 minutes.” At this point we all decide to re-up on some floral inspiration.

2:35pm — I’m hit with a sudden forgetfulness that leads me to suddenly have a brain fart about how to correctly input and attach the receptacle of the food processor. Analiese tries to help me with that. No dice. Eventually I figure it out after having lost some dignity and start working on my potato waffle, which becomes an ordeal after forgetting to put some key ingredients in it and almost having to start that over. At this point Analiese and I feel like we’ve fallen behind. Elie, on the other hand, is feeling confident: “Thirty minutes is all I need, baby!”

2:43pm — Elie’s trio of dishes are starting to come together: the OREO Dunkaroos are done, Stoner Popcorn’s on deck, and he’s ready to start putting together his Big Mac Burrito. Analiese is impressing the room with her OREO mole sauce and made-from-scratch tortillas.

2:50pm — It’s a mad dash as everyone is trying to plate their dishes. Our blown selves were laser focused on the task at hand: Don’t run into each other and fuck up any dishes in the last moments. Did we incorporate every mandatory ingredient? Will we finish on time? Burning questions, like a cinder of lit flower, bore through our inner thoughts. Shit, that’s just me being stuck.

3:00pm — Done and done. I survey the scorched battlefield of what used to be a kitchen and nodded proudly. Analiese’s Stoner Breakfast Tacos were complete, presented immaculately on a marble cutting board. Pinterest would approve. Elie’s full spread was on glorious display, showcasing his deft touch with multi-tasking and prioritizing. And me? I’m just relieved to get everything on a plate. But hey, we did the damn thing.

But before we get into the results, here are the completed dishes:

Analiese’s Stoner Breakfast Tacos

Elie’s Stoner Popcorn, OREO “Dunkaroos,” and a Big Mac Burrito

Reach’s Double-Panko Breaded Fried Chicken & Savory Potato Waffle w/ OREO Butter

3:02pm — Elie: “I forgot an ingredient, but I’m hoping none of y’all notice!” Duly noted my guy.

3:10pm — After Pete’s finished taking photos of all the dishes, tasting begins. Knowing Elie’s missing something, I’m keen on finding it until I exclaim, “YOOO YOU FORGOT THE FRIES!”

3:25pm — Everyone’s turned in their scores for each dish and Evan begins to tally up the results. To celebrate our accomplishment, Analiese, Elie, and I all revisit the Gelato, which at this point has created a fixated state that’s just right, not too heady, with just the appropriate amount of creative juices unlocked within us.

3:40pm — What’s taking Evan so long? Is he disarming a bomb over there?

3:45pm — After what seemed like an eternity and a half, Evan reveals the results. Looks like the Gelato’s gotten to him, too. It’s a two-way tie for the winner, between me and Analiese. Elie caught that L for not including the McDonald’s French fries. But to be honest, I thought he had the tastiest item in that Big Mac Burrito. Flavor was straight up phenomenal and comforting. About the results, Analiese and I are feeling equal parts relief and shock. What are the odds? Yet, the total tally of scores seemed off to us. Following a meticulous survey of Evan’s math, it was determined that it all didn’t add up.

3:51pm — RECOUNT!

3:55pm — The new results, done with correct math, are revealed. Analiese and her Stoner Breakfast Tacos win! I knew it, though. Tortillas and mole made from scratch? Yeah I can’t compete with that.

WINNER: Analiese “The Bacon Princess” Trimber

But hey, shout out to our HIGH-ly focused selves, though. I mean, just look at these winners:

Photos: Peter Pham

Disclaimers:

  • These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration.
  • These products are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.
  • The statements in this article are for informational and educational purposes only. This does not constitute an advertisement or offer to sell any marijuana or other cannabis-derived products. It is intended for persons over the age of 21.
  • Although Marijuana is recreationally legal in California and Nevada, you must be at least 21 years of age to buy, possess or consume cannabis products of any kind. It is illegal to sell or advertise cannabis-derived products to anyone under the age of 21 or in locations where persons under 21 are expected to be found.
  • Do not over consume any drug or controlled substance, even if it is legal to do so. Always use good judgment when consuming marijuana, and do so responsibly.
  • Marijuana can impair your judgment and the ability to operate kitchen appliances and other machinery. The events portrayed in this article occurred under the supervision of individuals not under the influence of any controlled substances. Do Not Try This At Home – You Might Hurt Yourself or Someone Else!

Created in partnership with Blüm

Categories
Hit-Or-Miss Toasty

The Foods Stoners Stock Up On For 4/20

Anyone who observes the religious holiday of 4/20 will tell you that you need to stock up on very particular snacks to keep you going through the night.

The April 20 unofficial holiday is a perfect excuse for weed enthusiasts to get high without boundaries, but it is also an excuse to eat whatever the hell you want at the same time.

Everyone has their own strategy. You might make a quick run to Taco Bell and stock up on Doritos Locos Tacos or just walk to 7-Eleven and grab 20 bags of Cheetos. Either way, you know it will hit the spot.

A convenience store delivery service called goPuff hooked us up with some data to let us know what their users have been clamoring for the most on this haziest of days, and while some foods are obvious, others might surprise you.

Check out the snacks below and see if they fall in line with your 4/20 process:

Flamin’ Hot Cheetos

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Smartwater

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Nerds Rope

Half Baked Ben & Jerry’s

💯💯💯

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Nacho Cheese Doritos

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Mexican Coke

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Reese’s

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Kit Kat

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Laffy Taffy – Strawberry

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Twix

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