Categories
Hit-Or-Miss

Former Souplantation Manager’s Creepy Craigslist Ad For A Coachella Date Gets Deleted

With the recent news of Souplantation’s parent company, Sweet Tomatoes, filing for Chapter 11 Bankruptcy, and rumors that some locations could close, it’s safe to say some employees are looking for a way out.  Well, one such former employee has made it clear that he’s clearly over his managerial role at the all-you-can-eat chain and is set on, “JUST FUN,” from now on.

Gordon, as he calls himself in a recently posted Craigslist ad — which has now been flagged for removal — is looking to attend Coachella with a, “travel companion.”

In his ad, the newly divorced 56-year-old former Supervising Manager at Souplantation from West Covina explained that after 11 years of marriage, he recently quit his job, cashed out his 401K, and wants to party — beginning with a fun-filled VIP experience during Weekend 2 of Coachella 2017.

Here’s an image of the now deleted ad.

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Gordie’s Craigslist ad seemed innocent enough at first, but quickly transitioned into a creepy, slightly questionable solicitation for a 19 to 25-year-old female with a, “(#3) … fashionable sense of style in the vein of typical coachella goer (i.e. cute indian headband, small ripped jean shorts, lots of colorful bracelets, etc),” who should be willing to follow a 20-point checklist of semi-repulsive requests during the the four-day weekend together.

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While Gordon’s first few rules aren’t that disturbing, things quickly progress into the transgressive realm, starting with stipulation #5.

5. Must keep hands and feet moisturized at all times.

Um, sure?

As the list grows, Gordon’s requests started to shadow a deep sense of fetishism and obsessiveness, not to mention some were borderline demanding.

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Rule #10 was especially critical: Being social is fine but no excessive fraternizing with other male festival-goers, and most definitely NO PUBLIC AFFECTION with other festival-goers (violation of this rule results in immediate removal of Tropic Motor Motel room privileges and maybe even return ride).

So, your guest isn’t supposed to interact with other people at a festival? Why not just watch it online?

Here comes the heavier stuff. Take a breath.

Rule #11 states, “Periodic moments of extended eye contact.”

Wut?

Rule #12 is pretty much where it all started going south.

12. Allow me to brush your hair once per day (not mandatory, but encouraged).

Huh? Why?

Gordon’s not done there. The list continues with awkward requests that seem to showcase a slightly voyeuristic personality, mixed with slight delusion.

For example, rule #15 stated, “Any personal grooming such as toenail clipping, eyebrow plucking or lipstick application must be done in my presence.”

It’s called personal grooming for a reason, Gordon!  Can’t we just go watch Beyonce?!

There’s really no explanation for the rest of his requests, but hey, here we go.

#17. At least twice during the festival you must tell me in a playful manner that “I am naughty.”

Nope.

#18. At some point in time during the festival you must tell me that, “you didn’t know how this would go, but you’re actually having a really good time.”

Why would I lie?

Rule 19 is probably is by far the creepiest request:

19. At least once during our stay after your shower, you must use the steam to write a cute message on the bathroom mirror for me to find later when I shower.

Does, “HELP ME!!!!” count?

Lastly, Gordon’s just there to have a sweet-ass time and just wants you to have a blast, as long as you’re not in violation of the 8,500,000 set of rules he has established.

20.  Must be ready to party and HAVE FUN.

It’s easy to see why this ad was removed, but still, it’s only fair that we hope Gordon meets the, “right one.” But, perhaps he should do so under some less invasive, and more moderately acceptable circumstances.

Categories
Hit-Or-Miss

McDonald’s Has A Coveted Gold Card That Gives Free Food To Select VIPs

There is a super secret and super rare McDonald’s gold card in the hands of a number of royal McDonald’s elites.

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The highly revered McDonald’s McGold Card was recently revealed by actor Rob Lowe on Jimmy Kimmel’s late night talk show. The actor explained to an awed Kimmel that the card gave Lowe an unlimited supply of free McDonald’s food at the Santa Barbara and Goleta chains for a year.

“My buddy in Santa Barbara, his dad was one of the original McDonald’s franchisee and he invented the Egg McMuffin. He invented it and that to me is the greatest human achievement.

“He invented Ronald McDonald. He’s the guy that said to Ray Kroc you should have like a pedophile creepy looking clown.”

Lowe got his hands on one of these babies through a friend’s connection. His friend’s dad allegedly invented the classic Egg McMuffin sandwich as well as Ronald McDonald himself.

Members in the VIP club include Bill Gates and Warren Buffet.

Written by the editorial staff at NextShark || h/t: Gawker

Categories
Hit-Or-Miss

How a Genius Used a First Class Ticket to Eat Free Airline Food for a Year

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Unless you really like security checkpoints and planes, an airport isn’t exactly a place we find much joy or utility, but not for one clever guy. You’ll be surprised after you read this story about how this guy totally hacked the airport system.

A Chinese man bought a first-class ticket at Xi’an airport in Shaanxi, China.  Like most first-class travelers, he decided to eat before his flight in the first-class lounge of the airport. After he is done eating, he leaves- but not to his flight.  He actually never takes his flight. Instead, he goes to the ticket counter to change his flight itinerary for the next day and then he heads home. The next day he comes back with his new ticket and into the lounge he goes. Book, eat, reschedule, repeat.

Now, not all of us have flown first-class before, but when you do, you get access to the first-class VIP lounge at the airport with your ticket. Once you are inside, anything you want — drinks and food — is absolutely free.  This guy rescheduled his itinerary over 300 times in the same year! That’s over 300 free meals in a first-class lounge, but wait, the story gets better.

China Eastern Airlines, the airline that he kept rescheduling his first-class ticket with, started to catch on to his little scheme and began an investigation. What did he do? He simply cancelled his ticket — for a full refund!

Well played sir, well played indeed.

H/T Sploid

Categories
Fast Food

McDonald’s Japan Has a $10 Burger That Comes in a VIP Gift Bag

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McDonald’s rules for a variety of reasons, but it’s their deliciously cheap ‘Dollar Menu’ that reigns supreme in our books. Sometimes life calls for a fancier meal, though, like the $10 “Gold Ring” Quarter Pounder recently spotted at a McDonald’s Japan.

For one day only, the location offered a standard cheeseburger topped with two thick bacon slices and pineapple. But the fancy factor was amped up by its packaging — a box inside a bag, tied with a ribbon. Shoot, that’s classy!

The best part? Customers who purchased the special burger got to sit in a VIP section of the restaurant. Now that’s what we’re talkin’ about.

H/T + PicThx That’s Nerdalicious!