Categories
Humor

Epic Video Game Trailer Starring a Slice of Bread Will Make You Cry

Sliced bread is frequently referred to as “the best thing” when compared to other innovations, but after all these years of us taking it for granted, we can now know what it is like to be a slice of bread.

Bossa Nova Studios, who brought the world Surgeon Simulator earlier this year, released I am Bread on December 3.

For less than $10, you can frustratingly climb cabinets and toilet seats in an attempt to get toasted. The toaster is the obvious method, but evidently any appliance emitting heat will do the trick.

Bossa Nova Studios released a pretty humorous trailer that makes the simulation feel like a horror film with an unusual villain:

The current version of this bread simulation game is available on Steam as a beta test; an official launch is set for next year.

H/t Tech Gen Mag

Categories
Restaurants

Check Out Japan’s Swanky New Final Fantasy-Themed Cafe

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Call me a lame escapist nerd face, but if I could, I would absolutely live in a video game. (A western style fantasy one, with sword fights, and the ever-looming threat of permanent deletion.) Unfortunately that technology won’t exist for at least another eight years, but at least I have places like the Final Fantasy XIV cafe to tide me over.

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Adorned by giant stained glass windows, dark wood, and floating Moogles, Tokyo’s new Eorza Cafe was modeled after the Carline Canopy area in Final Fantasy XIV. It’s also probably the closest thing any of FFXIV’s 2 million+ users will get to actually being in-game. Once the cafe opens on July 31st, visitors can get their fill of potion-inspired cocktails and sword-shanked katsu plates. And then, after they tire of interacting IRL, they can play the game on any of the cafe’s four game-loaded PCs.

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Now if only they had showers so I could just live there forever. Sigh.

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H/T, Picthx Kotaku 

Categories
Hit-Or-Miss

A Video Game About a Piece of Bacon Fighting Evil Was Green-Lit by Steam

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If you’ve ever wondered what it would be like to be a walking, humanoid piece of bacon that shoots from a toaster gun, is dressed like the American flag and battles other food-inspired characters, this is it. A video game is currently in development where the main character is a bacon-themed superhero who is fighting for his life.

Bacon Man is an action game that incorporates the nostalgia of the ’90s in the form of a side scroller, taking inspiration from classic titles like Mega Man X, Earthwork Jim and Rayman. The game is a combination of fighting, shooting and physics with the added charm of a porktastic protagonist. Because nothing says America like a piece of bacon dressed in red, white and blue.

The 3D-rendered world is inspired by the different food groups. Players begin in The Freezer and continue through the game toward the Meat Zone, the Dairy Zone, Pomegranate City, the deserts of Udon and Vegan Valley before arriving at the final level.

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The story seems pretty solid too, in a Count of Monte Cristo kind of way. Bacon Man is framed by the Food Kings for the murder of Old King Roast Beef. It starts off with a prison break where Bacon Man travels through all the food worlds fighting to clear his name and exact revenge on those who framed him.

The project has been officially given the green light by Steam, a digital game distribution and social networking platform, and currently in development by Skymap Games. However, they’re still going through a round of funding.  At time of publication they’ve reached $3,731 of a $20,000 Kickstarter goal with 29 days left to go.

Way more thought out than potato salad.

Picthx Steam

Categories
Sweets

Now You Can Buy Candy Crush Candies in Real Life

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Healthy perceptions of reality are so overrated.

Now, some might claim it’s important that kids grow up knowing the difference between the digital and physical, between attacking produce in a video game and attacking it in a grocery store, but to those folks, we say: BAH.

New York-based candy company Dylan’s Candy Bar recently unveiled a line of Candy Crush-themed chocolates, Swedish fish, and gummies inspired by the popular Bejeweled-esque smartphone game. Now you can hone your sweet pattern-recognition skills long after you’ve killed your phone battery.

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The Candy Crush Candies come in four varieties: chocolate Color Bombs, Jelly Fish gummies, Mixed Fruit gummies, and Sour Fruit gummies.

They are available online from Dylan’s Candy Bar, $4 each or $15 for all four.

H/T + PicThx Design Taxi

Categories
Hit-Or-Miss

Mario ‘Beerio’ Kart Might Be The Greatest, Nerdiest Drinking Game Ever

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Now, I’ve seen some pretty epic drinking games but I can only imagine how insane things get when you mix cheap beer with Mario Kart.

Think about it. The game is already hard to play sober. Plus, something changes in people when they play Mario Kart. Your friends are now laughing maniacally as they shoot Bullet Bills and leave a trail of banana peels for you to slip on. Not to mention you have Wario on your ass with Bowser waiting just around the corner to blast that damn spiny shell at you just as you slide into first place. But to play this seemingly innocent racing game while drunk off your ass? Nope. Kiss Rainbow Road goodbye.

The rules are simple:

1) Dust off your N64 and find your Mario Kart 64 cartridge. Yes kids, in the old days we had to play our video games on cartridges, none of that fancy CD ish.

2) Get some beer. Make sure it’s something you like because you’ll be spending some quality time with it.

3) Grab some pals and start up the game. Once you’ve all picked your characters and course, it’s time to get down to business.

Check out the run down below:

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Make sure you play this with some friends though, because playing Beerio Kart solo is basically geeky alcoholism.

PicThx Reddit

Categories
Hit-Or-Miss

Behold: The Video Game Food Pyramid

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Prepare to eat pixel dust, fellow gamers. This video game food pyramid recommends daily servings of health-replenishing crutches from our favorite childhood games, including Super Mario Bros., Zelda, Pacman, Final Fight, and Streets of Rage. At the moment, we’re debating on what disembodied hearts and anthropomorphic stars would actually taste like. So far we’ve got strawberry, cherry and red fruit loops for the pixelated hearts and lemon drops for the creepy star. Yes, we have a lot of time on our hands.

Although, we don’t quite trust the turkey from Streets of Rage. I’d rather chow down on a blue ghost (tastes like blueberries!) than poultry suspiciously left on the street.

H/T + PicThx Funny Or Die

Categories
Sweets

Try One of These Mario 1-Up Ring Pops to Put a Little Spring in Your Step

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With the week winding down, you’re probably feeling a little restless and moody right now. Well, they say the best way to find fulfillment is to devote yourself to helping other people, so why not whip up a batch of these Mario 1-Up Ring Pops and give yourself and everyone else in the office something to smile about?

All you need is some “White Mystery” Airheads, corn syrup, cherry and lime Kool-Aid and some recycled plastic rings. Thanks to this recipe by instructables user Sherrybaby81485, you’ll be hopping around on mushrooms (and if I might add, one hell of a sugar high) in no time.

You can also learn how to make Yoshi ring pops, here.

H/T + PicThx Sherrybaby81485

Categories
Technology

Pizza Hut’s New Xbox Ordering App Allows Gamers to Live Inside Their Parents’ Basements Forever

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Well, I guess it’s time to say goodbye to my boyfriend.

A new app launched by Pizza Hut and Microsoft now allows video game players to order pizza via Xbox Live. Granted, players will still need to pause Bioshock and leave Elizabeth hanging for a bit while they access the “Create Your Pizza” app, and when the delivery guy gets there, they’ll still need to get up, grab their wallets and answer the doorbell. But hey, I count at least a few other unnecessary chores they can now happily do away with.

So long showers! (Who needs to go outside anymore?) So long phone bills and data plans! (We just used them to order pizza anyway.) Bye bye, regular human interaction! (What do I need a social life for? I’ve got multi-player, baby.)

As an added bonus, all orders received from the app during this first week of service will receive a 15% discount, and we all know how well fast food pizzas are preserved.

Can you say, “stockpile for the next zombie apocalypse”?

H/T + PicThx HuffPo