Categories
Sweets

Chocolate-Covered Twinkies Make Nationwide Comeback

chocodile

There are few things in the world that can’t be improved by coating them in chocolate. Twinkies are no different. Now, Hostess brands is bringing back an old favorite that is really nothing more than creme-filled soft yellow sponge cakes encased in chocolate, but is probably amazing nonetheless. Say hello (again) to the Chocodile.

Previously only available on the West Coast since the late 1990s, these miniature Boston Creams are now being released nationwide in original, chocolate creme, strawberry creme, and banana creme flavors. Unfortunately, they’ll only come in “fun size” wrappers, we figure that’s just another excuse to buy an extra box.

Picthx Hostess

Categories
Features

Bugs, Butt, and Other Weird Food Additives You’ve Probably Eaten Today

weird-food-additives

People are willing to eat all kinds of weird stuff, but often we’re eating all kinds of weird stuff when we think we’re eating something totally normal. Like gum. Or Jell-O. But hey, if it tastes delicious, what’s the harm in a little secretion from a pig’s anus? Here are 10 very weird things manufacturers put in very normal-seeming food. Now pass the anus candy.

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Artificial Raspberry Flavoring Comes From Beaver Butt Juice

beaver-butt-juice

Yes, it’s pretty effin’ weird that one of the things that makes artificial raspberry flavoring in sodas and candy taste raspberry-y is castoreum, something that is exuded from a beaver’s anal glands. What’s even weirder is that this discovery was the result of somebody venturing to taste a beaver’s anal gland secretions.

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 Crushed Beetles: Tons of Red Food Products

beetles

One of the most commonly used ingredients in red food coloring is flakes of mashed-up beetles, and not the kind of mashed-up Beatles Danger Mouse did when he combined The White Album with Jay-Z’s Black Album. Still, we’re willing to bet that Ringo loves him some red velvet cake.

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Dog Vagina Pheromones: Beer and Wine

dog-vagina

Ever wonder why Spuds McKenzie loved beer so much? Beer and wine often contain a preservative called methylparaben, which, in addition to keeping booze fresh, is also a pheromone found in dog’s vaginas. Does that make us all Eskimo brothers with Spuds?

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Sheep Juice: Gumballs

sheep-juice

Often referred to as “gum base”, the stuff that makes your favorite gumball so gummy is actually a substance known as lanolin, which is an oil found in sheep’s wool. Interestingly, that makes gum yet another instance of lamb going great with mint.

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Shellac: Jellybeans

shellac-jelly-beans

More bug secretions! This one begs a very important question: would you rather be cool with eating something coated with a resin often used in furniture polish, or would you rather eat not-shiny jellybeans? We know you know the answer to that.

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Hair: Bread

bread-hair

Bread, like the glorious mane of one Carrot Top, needs to be bouncy and moist. So it should be no surprise that mass-produced bread products are baked with hair… more specifically, through an amino acid called L-cysteine, which is most commonly extracted from hair, but can also be found in feathers. Carrot cake, anyone?

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Polydimethylsiloxane: Chicken Nuggets

chicken-nuggets

This silicone product is pure magic, showing up in everything from Silly Putty to Pamela Anderson’s boobs. It also shows up in chicken nuggets, where it acts as a bonding agent for those chicken parts. Sadly, it fails to explain why you can’t copy newsprint by pressing a McNugget against it.

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Sand: Chili

sand-chili

You ever eat a cake made of sand? Hell no, you say!? That’s because sand is an anti-caking agent. It’s also used in mass-produced chili, kind of like the stuff sold by a certain fast-food chain with a red-headed mascot who looks like she’s never set food on a beach in her life.

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Bones: Jell-O

bones-jello

Ever see Bill Cosby hanging out with hardcore vegans? Let’s wildly speculate that it’s because the Cos shills a delicious treat that has ground bones and skin as one of its ingredients. So, technically and despite its jiggly nature, Jell-O kinda has a bone structure. Oh, and you might wanna avoid non-vegan sugar, as well.

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Beef Fat: Twinkies

beef-fat-twinkies

Beef: it’s what’s for dinner. And apparently dessert, because one of the things that makes Twinkies one of the most enduring (hell, they even resurrected them) and delicious snacks is beef fat. Which explains why you never see vegans eating Twinkies with Bill Cosby, actually. This conspiracy runs DEEP.

 

Andy Kryza is Thrillist’s National Eat/Drink Senior Editor, and has proudly lived vegetable-free since 2001. Follow his adventures/slow decline via Twitter at @apkryza.

Categories
Features

32 Despicably Cute Photos of Minions in Your Food

minion-salad

Despicable Me’s minions are looking to supersede kittens and piglets as the world’s cutest creatures. You can spot these petite, bright yellow fellows everywhere these days, they’re the most coveted prize at the county fair and scene-stealing commercials with that bubbly Progressive lady.

Now, they’re in your food. Oh, yes. There’s no escaping them, and why would you want to anyhow? They make for the perfect cuddle buddy/night light and have a strange fascination with farts. Adorable, er, right?

So here’s a list of 32 minions in your food via Instagram. Because if you can’t beat ’em, you might as well make them into pretty cupcakes and latte art. Naturally.

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Minion Cookies tho

Bougie Minion

Mickey Mouse Cameo

Pyro Minon

Keep Calm & Eat Minions

Beware the Evil Minion

 

Minion Twinkie Cupcakes

 

That’s Gotta Hurt

Nailed It

Sheer Genius

This one spins and talks. Overachiever much?

Minion Pops

Say It with Minions

Perfection

Minion Tic Tacs are sadly not real-life

Minion Caramel Apples

Bananas Disguised as Minions

Minionmallow

It’s official, they’re taking over the world: Minion Oreos

Hipster Minion

 WOT!

Mini Minion Chocolates

Minion Latte Art

Categories
Sweets

Despicable Me’s Minions Disguised As Twinkie Cupcakes

despicable-me-twinkies

Now that Twinkies are back on shelves, it’s time to welcome these little creme-filled snacks back into the dessert aisle. So, howabout we start by turning them into those adorable little minions from Despicable Me? Yes? Awesome. No? Well, gosh, you never cared about them anyway.

WALK 97.5, a New York radio station posted the photo of Gru’s minions to Facebook. From what we gather, the recipe looks pretty simple and requires a minimal amount of fancy schmancy baking skills. We’re thinking the easiest way to go about whipping up this mini army would be to pick up a dozen or so cupcakes at the grocery store, cut a bunch of Twinkies in half, and draw on the face using black icing. For the eyes, I swear those are white Smarties.

H/T Laughing Squid, PicThx WALK 97.5

Categories
Hit-Or-Miss

The Twinkies of the Future Will Be Frozen before Shipping

twinkies to be frozen

Twinkies are set to make their return on July 15, and despite the general hurrah, most of us will probably go back to not eating them.

For those of you genuinely concerned about the “quality” of your beloved Twinkie, you may be dismayed to learn that some select shipments will be frozen in order to prolong their freshness. Apparently, despite their mythical “indestructibility,” Twinkies do have a shelf life.

Hostess spokeswoman Hannah Arnold informed Huffpo that a few of the company’s retail customers have requested the treats be frozen prior to shipping, claiming it will allow companies to  “date the product for freshness,” while offering “flexibility in filling their shelves.” Of course, Hostess maintains that freezing the pastries will have “no impact on the quality or taste.”

“Any suggestion that Hostess is changing the integrity of the iconic snack cakes consumers have loved is completely untrue,” stated Arnold. “The new ownership is absolutely committed to baking top quality snack cakes and, in fact, is making major investments to ensure that Hostess products are as good, if not even better, than before.”

Still, I think this whole freezing business is a tad unnecessary. I agree Twinkies have an expiration date, but like Mickey D’s burgers, it isn’t one to fret about. Take this Twinkie specimen for example, still “edible” at the ripe old age of 36.

ohyum

H/T + PicThx Huffpo

Categories
Hit-Or-Miss

Twinkies Back on Shelves by July, Faces Competition from Copycats

twinkies-back-july

Nostalgic lovers of the classic creme-filled pastries, chill out — Twinkies are set to hit shelves by late July. “We expect to be making and selling in July,” Michael Cramer, executive vice president of Hostess Brands LLC, told NBC News. “Probably the later half of the month before the product hits the stores.”

Last month, Apollo Global Management and Metropoulos & Co purchased Twinkies, Cup Cakes, Ho Hos, Zingers, Ding Dongs and Suzy Q’s for $410 million, while the rest of Hostess’ lines (Wonder Bread, Nature’s Pride, Home Pride, Merita) went to Flower Foods and its Beefsteak brand to Grupo Bimbo. It was welcome news for everyone who grew up with the iconic treat.

However, going MIA for more than six months changes things. The new owners of Hostess face competition from copycats who  scrambled to fill the gap when Twinkies filed for bankruptcy last year. Flower Foods rolled out with their own line of Twinkie lookalikes in the form of “Bingles” from its Blue Bird brand and “Dreamies” from its Mrs. Freshley’s label. Grupo Bimbo, a baking company based in Mexico, has had their own version of Twinkies, “Submarinos,” around for awhile but began to import the vanilla flavors to the US in 2012 — when talks of Hostess filing for bankruptcy began.

Although devoted Hostess fans will return to Hostess despite the faux pastries, the challenge lies in gaining back casual consumers. Luckily, Cramer assures that the OG will be “as delicious and fattening as it always was,” and that, dear readers, isn’t something just any ol’ fellow can do.

H/T NBC + PicThx MSN

Categories
Hit-Or-Miss

This is What a 14-Year-Old McDonald’s Hamburger Looks Like

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The famously indestructible Twinkie might have a competitor for the title of “most preservative-packed snack food.” This fourteen-year-old burger was first purchased by Utah resident David Whipple in 1999, who let the hamburger sit around for a month as part of an experiment in deterioration. When the classic burger failed to decompose, Whipple stuck it in his coat pocket and forgot about it . . . for two years.

(Check out the original receipt below.)

The coat containing the apparently immortal sandwich was packed into his closet, where it remained until Whipple’s wife dug it out and they were astonished to find his long-lost lunch good as new. The pickle that adorned the original burger had long since decomposed, but the rest of the burger — bun included — was completely intact and smelled like a fresh hamburger. Rather than throwing the burger into the bin, Whipple continued the experiment to this day in order to remind his grandchildren to eat healthy.

urger

We’re pretty against eating anything prepared the same year that Toy Story 2 came out, but then again, we’re also pretty against stashing hamburgers in our outwear for months or years at a time. Maybe McDonald’s and Whipple can just call it even on the embarrassment factor and agree to never speak of this again.

H/T + PicThx Daily Mail

Categories
Hit-Or-Miss

Twinkies Are Back! Set to Hit Shelves By Summer

twinkies are back

Damn, we bet those people who tried buying that $15 million Twinkie feel duped right about now. After reporting that Apollo Global Management and Metropoulos & Co. made a joint offer of $410 million to revive the fallen cream-filled pastries, a bankruptcy judge approved the sale of the Twinkies brand on Tuesday. The deal also includes HoHos, Ding Dongs and Sno Balls — meaning our favorite sugar-infused fambam is back.

As the NYT notes, “The sale will mean that Twinkies, born more than 83 years ago in an Illinois industrial kitchen, will live on, having survived wars, recessions and the South Beach and Dukan diets.” We predict that it will also survive the current onslaught of paleo diets and kale-crazed juicers.

Of course, the new partners are veterans in the food industry. Metropoulos & Co. owns Pabst beer, while Apollo Global Management has investments in Carl’s Jr. and Hardee’s. For those wondering if the Hostess name will be left buried under stale crumbs, don’t fret. Daren Metropoulos, one of Mr. Metropoulos’ sons and a firm executive, assured that “[t]here’s a great consumer fan base that hasn’t declined” and “a real opportunity to revitalize these brands, just with some T.L.C.”

Btdubs, the sale of Wonder Bread, Nature’s Pride, Home Pride and Merita were signed off to Flowers Foods, the makers of Tastykakes for $360 million; the sale of Hostess’ Beefsteak brand to Grupo Bimbo was also given the go-ahead at $31.9 million.

That’s all great but let’s be real, it’s all about the Twinkies.

H/T NYT + PicThx Bloomberg