Features Sweets

Here’s What The Internet Would Do With 20 Tons Of Nutella Hazelnut Spread

Last week, about 20 tons of Nutella were stolen from a truck in Germany. Authorities were baffled as to where all that hazelnut spread could have gone, or why so much was needed. The Nutella heist happened some time between Aug. 12 and Aug. 13. in the town of Neustadt, which resides about 120km from Frankfurt.

According to CBS Chicago, the stolen spread is valued at about $82,000. Neustadt police warn locals to be wary of someone offering them large quantities of chocolate through “unconventional channels.” Instances like this should be reported it to the authorities immediately.

User The-Potato-Lord posed a question on Reddit, in the wake of history’s biggest Nutella caper, asking:

If you suddenly came into the possession of 20 tons of Nutella, what would you do?

As a result of the call to action, we’re left with some pretty impressive options. Because who doesn’t dream of getting their hands on this plethora of sweet Nutella?

Here are all the clever and creative suggestions the Internet had to offer as to what to do with 20 tons of hazelnut spread:

And the #1 suggestion for the massive surplus of hazelnut spread:


WHY: Thieves Steal 18 Tons of Crisco


Hialeah police discovered 18 tons of Crisco in an abandoned tractor-trailer in South Florida, reports the St. Petersburg Tribune. The trailer contained 36,000 pounds of Crisco vegetable shortening sticks. The rig with the shortening was reported stolen Sunday morning  from a towing company, according to St. Petersburg police.

While the thieves were nowhere to be found, the Crisco appeared to be intact within the trailer, which was scheduled to be delivered to a distribution facility in Lakeland.

The question of why anyone would need that much vegetable shortening still remains a mystery. A list of possible scenarios the stolen Crisco could be used for follows:

  1. Giant pastry for their community, à la Robin Hood.
  2. They’re greasing up for an even bigger heist.
  3. Crisco is some form of New World currency we’re still unfamiliar with.

A few weeks back, 350,000 pounds of raw chicken were also stolen from a similar rig and held for ransom. While the events are almost certainly unrelated, that would have made a great fried chicken story.

St. Petersburg police are currently looking for any leads that will help locate the Crisco thieves.

H/T St. Petersburg Tribune Picthx Crisco