Categories
Features Hit-Or-Miss Humor Products

My Soup Date With Rams Running Back Todd Gurley [WATCH]

TIL that Todd Gurley loves pork chops. Like, a lot.

Being an enormous athlete in both size and notoriety requires a strictly adhered to schedule: wake up, eat, work out, eat, press conference, eat, work out again, eat, sign some memorabilia, shoot a commercial, eat, sleep, rinse, wash, repeat. It’s no different for Todd Gurley.

screen-shot-2016-10-24-at-3-02-13-pm

One is an athlete, one is sucking his gut in for the picture. Can you tell which is which?

On the outside is a huge, lumbering man with biceps as thick and round as a Ming Dynasty vase and a back as wide as one of those tables in boardroom meetings where the CEO asks Johnson to update everyone on the quarterly earnings report. Suffice it to say, Todd is at the peak of human physical conditioning.

Campbell's Chunky Soup Todd Gurley Press Day

So, how does one get to be so large? Two words… pork chops.

Drafted 10th overall by the (then) St. Louis Rams in the 2015 NFL Draft, Gurley continues to be a dominant force in the NFL, remaining as one of the last true workhorse backs. The stud athlete also has his fair share of endorsements, the most notable one being Campbell’s Soup.

Fantasy Football has become a staple in nearly every home nowadays, but Campbell’s wanted to give the players in the NFL a chance to see what it’s like on the other side. Enter the Everyman All-Star League! Finally, players get to gather around and draft regular dudes like me and you for their own fantasy draft. Outside of the obviously funny premise for the campaign, the Everyman All-Star League also features a way to win tickets to the next Superbowl. Who wouldn’t love that?

I recently got to sit down with the superstar running back during an interview hosted by Campbell’s and picked his brain about his favorite foods, what he can cook, and what his mama was feeding him to make him that big, all while enjoying a bowl of Campbell’s Chicken Noodle Soup, because why the hell not? If I ever say no to free soup, go ahead and shoot me. On top of that, I learned that pork chops are maybe the only thing he eats. Seriously, dude LOVES his pork chops.

Check out my interview with Todd Gurley below to learn more about his thoughts on Harambe, the Seattle Seahawks, and who he would draft first overall in the Everyman All-Star League!

Categories
Hit-Or-Miss

Carl’s Jr. Insists This Photoshopped Burger Was Actually Bitten Into

After we savagely mocked NFL star Todd Gurley’s photoshopped attempt at eating a Carl’s Jr. California Classic cheeseburger, the fast food restaurant has clapped back — in a tweet — claiming they have footage of him eating the actual sandwich.

The tweet, which has no actual link, but a lo-res GIF that shows Gurley “taking a bite,” is Carl’s Jr.’s latest attempt at staying relevant. The commercial is so bad we didn’t even have to mention Jay Mohr was the co-star. We get it, low budget talent for high budget effects. Also, notice how Gurley has the EXACT same reaction with each bite.

Nice try, Carl’s. We’re still not buying it. A lo-res GIF, really? At least give us some behind-the-scenes outtakes. This clap-back is worse than your attempt at trying to recreate a Carl’s Jr. version of In-N-Out’s Double-Double. Don’t get us started on which one is better.

The only thing that we will praise you on is the fact that with this GIF, you’re essentially admitting the aired version of the commercial was edited, which we already knew. That’s why we made this GIF.

So, in the end a graphic designer added some Thousand Island dressing on Gurley’s mouth post-bite, but that still doesn’t mean he actually ate anything. C’mon, Carl’s you don’t got to lie to kick it.

Categories
Hit-Or-Miss

NFL Star Todd Gurley Takes A Painfully Fake Bite In This Terrible Carl’s Jr. Ad

With the former St. Louis Rams returning to play for Los Angeles, it’s only proper for Carl’s Jr. to help make the city’s newest star (sorry, D’Angelo Russell) become a burger slanglin’ athlete whose diet probably does not consist of processed beef and french fries. So, how did Carl’s Jr. accomplish this? By making Rams running back Todd Gurley take a bite out of a CGI cheeseburger that’s so obviously fake, it’s funny, and painful.

 

Maybe you’ve seen or read about Carl’s Jr’s newest burger, The California Classic Double Cheeseburger, that’s curiously similar to In-N-Out’s Double-Double. We’ve actually compared the California Classic against the Double-Double and we determined NOTHING beats a Double Double. Period.

It’s most likely that Carl’s Jr. saw this as an opportunity to get Ram’s fans hyped up for Gurley’s California debut, and what better way than by pairing him with a California-themed burger.

We get it, Hollywood is the epicenter of plastic and illusion, but there’s no excuse for this terrible computer generated image of the cheeseburger. To add insult to injury, Gurley’s fake bite and chew is horrendous. Let’s take a second to break down this horrible job of editing and acting.

Take 1: Clearly photoshopped burger. The burger literally looks like it’s cut + copied onto his face.

Screen Shot 2016-06-10 at 5.43.29 PM

Take 2: Fake bite face, with air pockets inside cheeks for “mouth full” effect. We’ve all pulled the fake-bite-and-spit at a friend’s house, or somewhere you didn’t want to offend the cook.

Gurley lucked out, he didn’t even have to eat anything.

Screen Shot 2016-06-10 at 5.43.46 PM

Take 3: Post-fake bite face transforms into “Oh, wow. That’s REALLY good,” reaction. Too bad it’s a terrible acting job.

Screen Shot 2016-06-10 at 5.43.57 PM

At least Carl’s Jr. fans have a chance to interact with Gurley through a Carl’s Jr. Instagram takeover.

However, we have yet to see him take an actual bite.