Categories
Features

10 Things You Probably Didn’t Know (And Probably Didn’t Want to Know) About PBR

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Are you dying to know what other things Frederick Pabst (the once-owner of Pabst Brewing Company) named after himself over the years? Do you have a burning obsession with weird retro beer commercials? During Prohibition, the Pabst company had to diversify into cheese-making just to stay afloat – did that information just make you gasp in delight and run immediately to tell your neighbor? If you answered yes to any of those questions, sorry honey, but you’re a weirdo. Although, you might also appreciate this list of 10 things you didn’t know about PBR, courtesy of Thrillist.

Go on you crazy cheap-beer-trivia loving freaks. Go on.

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1. PBR’s original owners were super narcissistic: OG owner Jacob Best named it Best and Company. Then his son Phillip called it Phillip Best Company. Finally Phillip’s son-in-law Frederick Pabst stuck us with a name uncomfortably reminiscent of a pap smear. Thanks, guy.

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2. Pabst also had a neat Gatsby-esque resort with “rentable row boats, outdoor movies, tons of beer, and a Ferris wheel.” He also owned a theatre in Milwaukee.

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3. That cheese I mentioned earlier that the company made during Prohibition? Yeah, they called that ish “Pabst-ett,” because apparently the better euphonies of language were completely lost on them.

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4. They also sponsored boxing matches back in the day, for reasons.

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5. 2009’s World’s Ugliest Dog was a boxer mix named “Pabst” for his “bitter beer face.”

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6. There’s a genre of music called “PBR&B” that’s actually described as a subgenre of R&B, presumably includes folks like Frank Ocean and Macklemore and is sadly not some kind of beer-infused sandwich.

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7. And finally, facts seven through ten aren’t really facts, but hilariously awkward ‘80s commercials. Yes really. No, we don’t know why.

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Head over (or don’t) to Thrillist for the rest!

Categories
Hit-Or-Miss

‘Jamba Booze’ Jamba Juice Cocktails Exist – Here’s How to Make ‘Em

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Sometimes I’ve wondered if I should stop drinking and take better care of my body. Take this week for example. I’ve been in Vegas for the past five days and the only “healthy” thing I’ve consumed this whole time is 64 ounces worth of a peach bellini daiquiri (that has fruit in it, right?). Anyway, at this point I figure I have two options: go on a much-needed cleanse, or keep drinking until I forget I probably should be going on a cleanse.

Of course, there’s always the Thrillist option.

Their particular mission was to help people recreate the beauty of deliciously fruity booze cruise smoothies on the fly, but Thrillist’s round-up of Jamba Booze Cocktails also makes for a solid drink menu for whenever you don’t feel like hating yourself too much. So what if Jamba Juice isn’t as innocuously health-conscious as their signage likes to pretend it is. An orange sherbet, strawberry, peach and passion fruit “Caribbean Passion Hurricane” is still better than nothing.

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“Pomegranate Pick-Me-Up” – Mexican Firing Squad

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Reposado Tequila, allspice and old-fashioned bitters help transform this fruity purple mess into a warm, wintry cocktail.

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“Orange-A-Peel” — Harvey Wallbanger

3 ounces vodka and 1 ounce Galliano make for a kind of bougie, yoga-doing Screwdriver.

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“Banana Berry” – Fruity Wheat Beer

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Playing off the natural banana esters in found wheat beers, this just takes four extra ounces of beer to make — get crafty!

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Check out the rest of the list over at Thrillist.

Categories
Cravings

The 5 Best Fast Food Breakfasts Worth Hating Yourself in the Morning For

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Ah, the fast food breakfast. That sure sign you’re either a) hungover, b) overworked, or c) both. Whatever the reason, sooner or later you’re going to have to pick up food on your way into work or school or wherever, and chances are it’s going to be both bad tasting and bad for you. The least you can do is find something that doesn’t suck nearly as much as everything else, right? And hey, on a good day (or at least, a particularly less sober day), you might even trick yourself into thinking it’s delicious.

Check out this list of the best national fast food breakfasts our friends over at Thrillist compiled and remember, oil and maple syrup is never a bad idea.

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Carl’s Jr. Breakfast Burger

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No it won’t make any of your wet dream-hot girl in the back seat of your car-fantasies come true, but Carl’s massive breakfast burger made up of meat, eggs, bacon and hash browns should tide you over through that morning meeting (and safely into Friday afternoon).

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McDonald’s Hash Browns

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Thrillist got it right by giving these guys their own category. It’s perfectly reasonable for most folks to just forgo the breakfast platter entirely and instead stock up on these crispy brown beauties. McDonald’s, could you copy KFC real quick and make a hash-brown breakfast sandwich, that would be great. Thankssss.

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Dunkin’ Donuts Glazed Donut Breakfast Sandwich

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To those who say Dunkin’ isn’t technically national, I say two things, “PAH!” and “Soon!” You’d better believe once the first California DD locations open up, we Foodbeasts are gonna be the first in line.

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Taco Bell Waffle Taco

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Is it a taco? No. Is it spectacular? Absolutely. See, the problem with places like Bruxie is they don’t have a drive-thru, so I can’t pass by them with the three spare minutes I gave myself when I left the house. Taco Bell is completely fair game though, and for that I am eternally grateful.

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McDonald’s McGriddle

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Here’s what eating a McGriddle looks like, in case you’ve never had one before:

Looking at that bizarre bun-y thing:

After the first bite:

As the mush makes its way to the back of your tongue:

When the full blend of sweet and salty flavors finally hits you:

So yeah, I guess you could say it’s pretty bomb. I guess.

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Honorable Mention: Jack in the Box French Toast Sticks

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These weren’t on the Thrillist list, but in a perfect world, these would be the winner, hands down. But unfortunately Jack in the Box hates everything good in the world and took these beautiful gifts from God away from us. Who knows why. I just know I miss them. More than any healthy person probably should.

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For the whole list, head on over to Thrillist.

Categories
Features

Banana Runts, Raisins in Trail Mix and More ‘Rejectable’ Snacks You Love to Hate

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Like white crayons, there are just some foods you love to hate. From black licorice jelly beans to raisins in trail mix – these are the foods you look at and can’t help but wonder why they’re here and what they want from us. And the worst part is you just can’t escape them, since snack manufacturers seem hell-bent on making us waste an extra two minutes just picking them out from the Chex and almonds and Apple Runts they know we love.

Our friends at Thrillist dubbed these foods the “Rejectables.” And these are the ones we’ve come to lovehate most:

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Raisin in Trail Mix

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To be fair, trail mix kind of sucks to begin with. There’s always too much processed honey/sugar flavor and not enough M&Ms. But add in all those extra raisins and you can’t help but pucker.  And then there’s all the syrup that oozes out and gets over everything. Raisins, do us a favor and keep your yuck to yourselves.

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Peanut Taffy

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I’m not sure who makes these and why they keep doing it when no one seems to like them. But for some reason, at least one house on the block continues to hand them out every Halloween, leading to more than few dollars wasted every time kids inevitably throw them out.

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Black Licorice Jelly Beans

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This goes for black licorice in general, but at least those straws keep to themselves. These guys have absolutely no business crowding up my Jelly Bellys.

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Banana Runts

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Banana flavored things are just weird as a collective, maybe because they’re too sweet. From now on, let’s assume all fruit-flavored candies need to be a little sour, k? (Green Apple my darling, I’m totally looking at you.)

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The “Regular Option” in a Variety Pack

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Thrillist used regular Sam Adams Boston Lager as their example, but I’d like to extend the category to all regular options in Variety Packs. From fruit snacks to condoms, the only reason I’m buying this stupid variety pack in the first place is because buying a whole set of the one I actually want is too expensive. If I wanted the normal version, I’d buy the normal version, so GTFO of my variety pack.

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Check out the rest of the list of top “Rejectable” foods over at Thrillist.