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Watch A Vegetarian Lose Her Mind After Eating Meat For The First Time In 22 Years

Talk about turning your back on your convictions, lady.

Just kidding. Live your life.

Plus, meat is amazing.

Stephanie Potakis is the casting director for popular satirical site, The Onion. While her job might immediately cause you to question the validity of her vegetarian claims, she swore she hadn’t eaten meat in 22 years.

Potakis told the Huffington Post that she had recently attended a rib festival and was so entranced by the sights and smells, it made her consider eating meat again.

The AV Club took her up on that decision, and didn’t ease her in at all, having her try different steaks, a crispy chicken thigh, and even bone marrow.

You’d think she’d be disgusted, and maybe even throw up after this meat-filled dinner, but it was the opposite, as she felt euphoria from the experience.

To be fair, they took her to the highly acclaimed Swift & Sons in Chicago, so she was eating top of the line cuts, not just your run-of-the-mill steakhouse meats.

Going back to meat had to be something she considered for a while, because you don’t just abandon your beliefs like that at the drop of a hat.

There are some people, such as That Vegan Couple’s YouTube channel, who call bulsh*t on the video, and make a pretty compelling case for it being another fake viral post:

I’d like to believe she’s being honest, and if she is, you can’t knock her for her decision. Welcome to the dark side, Steph. Hope you enjoy your next filet mignon or smoked brisket, and never look back.

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Humor

Subway Addresses $5 Footlong Controversy in this Hilariously Fake Onion Report

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Turns out anyone trying to get healthy off Subway sandwiches was doing it wrong this entire time. The Onion fictitiously reports that Subway executives meant for the popular $5 footlong special to be split among two people. In fact, they’re in downright disbelief that anyone can tackle a footlong sub all on their own. Who does that, right?

The sandwich chain states that they’re “deeply sorry” if customers were led to believe eating an entire 12-inch sandwich was healthy for them. It was never meant to. In response to angry patrons, Subway modified their marketing strategy, clearing up any misconceptions that a footlong was meant for a single person in one sitting.

Check out the hilarious piece of satire below and you’ll never eat a $5 footlong again. No, you probably will.

Categories
Humor

Chuck E Cheese To Go Cheaper, Dirtier According to The Onion [PARODY]

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It’s easy to mock Chuck E Cheese for being gross and grimy, but is that just because we know better now or because we’ve gotten too old to not care?

A couple of days ago, satirical news site The Onion ran a story on how “America’s best value in family-friendly fun” had announced a new steep price decrease would be off-set by “a chain-wide lowering of hygiene standards.” This would include everything from requiring kids to sign waivers before touching any of the arcade games to giving the bathrooms just “one quick swab” at the end of the day. Like most Onion stories, it’s funny because it’s probably true, though the piece did make me miss the good old days of taking off my light-up sneakers and rolling around the ball pit. Who could forget the feeling of shiny, sweaty plastic beneath our fingers, the joy of button-mashing the TMNT and The Simpsons games after some other kid had just sneezed on them?

Goodness knows Chuck E Cheese was probably just as yucky back in the ‘90s. It’s just too bad caring about our health and hygiene is suddenly “in.”

Check out the full article for yourself at The Onion.

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Hit-Or-Miss

Video of the Day: Snacks Distract Lawmakers

Lawmakers can’t seem to focus on the realities of war with the presence of these delicious snacks. Get a load of the cute mannerisms of these grown adults leading our country.

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Hit-Or-Miss

80 Percent of Roommates Got So Drunk Last Night

A survey by the Shuttleworth Research Center found that the majority of male roommates ages 18-24 got wasted off their asses the previous evening. Anyone need a grain of salt?

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Hit-Or-Miss

Video of the Day: More Candidates Court Fat Vote

While this video may have some age to it, even our current president, Mr. Barack Obama, has been no stranger to publicly visiting rather delectable eateries and showing off his love for food. Maybe he’s already working for re-election?

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Hit-Or-Miss

Chef Cooks 'Dream Omelet' That Came to Him in Dream

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Hit-Or-Miss

Video of the Day: Obama Deeply Troubled by Denny's

Again, this is a video straight from The Onion news source. Which means, take this video for what it’s worth. Don’t call your waitress a “cunt”!