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Weed Wine: Getting Buzzed Without the Hangover

Edibles? Not quite. Drinkables, more like it. And no, it’s not the nasty bong water your old frat brother convinced you to chug drunk. It’s wine. Pot wine to be more exact.

That’s right. What if I tell you, you can get tipsy without the dreadful hangover the next day? Think of how many Tylenols you can save!

If you’re still skeptical, let me throw out some fancy words for all you wine snobs out there. It’s sauvignon blanc. That citrusy, green-grape white wine from France. A THC-infused sauvignon blanc to be exact.

Okay, to be honest, I pretended I was a wine connoisseur when I visited Napa. But that plan fell through real quick when I twirled my sparkling wine and the sommelier smacked my hand. So I’m not the best person to learn about wine from… Oops.

Anyways, this marijuana creation, a non-alcoholic wine “that smells like weed but tastes like wine,” is the brainchild of a California-based Rebel Coast Winery. Yes, unfortunately it’s non-alcoholic because federal regulation prevents mixing THC with alcohol in products.

Just told Chip what he’s getting for Xmas (plot twist- it’s cannabis wine).

A post shared by Rebel Coast Winery (@rebelcoastwinery) on

But each bottle of this cannabis vino holds 16 milligrams of THC, the element responsible for the psychoactive effects of weed. That’s approximately 4 milligrams of THC per glass, a perfectly modest amount to help you get the “nice, euphoric, mild high.”

I wouldn’t want to be mind-blowingly stoned anyways. That high will gift me with a couple extra pounds from the munchies. No. Thank. You.

So do I want to try it? Sure, why not? I’m not getting any younger and my body can’t gracefully bounce back from the hangovers anymore. I hear that Powerball jackpot is $450 million. Got to go now! Time for me to go buy that lottery ticket so I can have a cellar full of THC wine.

Golden State residents can expect shipments as early as January once the recreational sales of marijuana begin.