Packaged Food

Trader Joe’s Just Made French Onion Soup In Handheld Form

Photo courtesy of Trader Joe’s

Despite my sensitivity to lactose, I can’t pass up on a solid bowl of French onion soup. The marriage of caramelized onions, savory stock, and stringy, crispy cheese have joined together to warm my bones on more than one cold occasion.

For those who can’t get enough of French Onion Soup but lack the time needed to dote over a pot of onions for four hours, Trader Joe’s has released a variation that’s a bit easier to prep.

Their new French Onion Soup Bites with Caramelized Onions & Swiss Cheese is a mouthful in more ways than just its name. The new frozen appetizer is made with a doughy wrapper that’s stuffed with caramelized onions and Swiss cheese, and seasoned with a vegetable broth base.

You’re essentially biting into French Onion soup, just minus the mess, and I’m completely down with that. Anything to satiate those soup cravings.

Guests can find these bites in the frozen foods aisle at your local Trader Joe’s in 8.46-ounce boxes for $4.49.


This Cartoon Shows Mickey Mouse Doing UNSPEAKABLE Things To Swiss Cheese

Apparently this GIF has been around since at least 2011, but I saw it for the first time this morning when I should have been working, but was instead scrolling down my Facebook timeline.

WHAT!!!!!! My childhood is been ruined.

Posted by Samy Irssak on Friday, July 3, 2015

So, this old school video shows a jubilant Mickey Mouse sporting a pretty impressive boner that he uses to randomly poke holes in his Swiss Cheese. Apparently, this was the most effective way to make Swiss Cheese in the 1940s.

Upon seeing this video, your initial reaction is probably, “My childhood has been ruined!”

Your second reaction is probably, “This can’t be real.”

That was my reaction, at least, and I jumped on good ol’ Snopes to see if this video would be debunked, or if it actually was a weird subliminal message Disney tried to engrave in our tender little minds.

Screen Shot 2015-07-07 at 11.28.54 AM

It turned out to be fake, but not without a crazy amount of effort and detail by the Photoshopper.

This thing wasn’t even originally a real scene, so if you saw that video and said, “OMG, I remember that!” you’re a lying piece of s**t.


The GIF was comprised of several different classic Disney scenes and morphed into this masterpiece.

That particular Mickey was grabbed from the famous Steamboat Willie cartoon, which does not feature a boner.

This scene may not be real, but it sure is impressive, if only for that massive mouse boner.

Fast Food

Arby’s King’s Hawaiian Roast Beef Sandwiches Because Sweet and Salty Is Always Win


Usually once a meme has run its course, there’s no real way you can use it again without seeming extremely passé, but seriously guys, ERMAHGERD.

Grub Grade reports that King’s Hawaiian, those gloriously fluffy pieces of sweet bread which have nursed me through many a hangover, are the newest featured ingredient at Arby’s, which has just launched its new King’s Hawaiian Roast Beef & Swiss Sandwiches.


Featuring a 1/3 more roast beef slices than its regular sandwiches, along with Swiss cheese, pickles and creamy Dijon sauce, this veritable bit of fast food royalty weighs in at 600 calories, but that’s a small price to pay when you remember what you’re getting. This is King’s Hawaiian, guys. They’re delicious even when not included as part of a sandwich, but just imagine them wrapped around melted cheese and savory beef and dipped in au jus. Ahh, heaven.

They’re also available for 50 calories less, sans cheese and pickles, both only for a limited time.

H/T + PicThx Grub Grade

Adventures Cravings

Adventure: Spike’s Junkyard Dogs (Boston, Mass.)

There are a lot of great things in the world named Spike. Rugrat’s main character, Tommy Pickles’s dog was fittingly named “Spike”. The infamous mens television network, “Spike TV” alongside famous film directors: Spike Lee and Spike Jonze. There are many other people/characters you might known that could be on this list, but I found a restaurant that should fit in nicely. My friends and I visited Spike’s Junkyard Dogs in Boston which lived up to its predecessors prestige. Check it out as we explore this junkyard full of burgers, chicken and hot dogs!


Double Decker Mind Geist Sandwich

This sandwich, created and named after Foodbeast faithful Daniel Geist, is a testament to homemade delicious sandwich making. We’re looking at two levels of Asiago cheese bread, thinly sliced maple honey, ham, and turkey meats, roma tomatoes, bacon, swiss cheese, roughly chopped mixed baby greens dressed with vidalia onion dressing. Ain’t nothing like coming home after a hard day’s work and getting your crazy, inner sandwich artist on. Eat on!


The High Life Man Meal

Never has something looked so delicious, but at the same time, made me laugh so hard. We’re looking at a side of chili cheese fries hyping up a quarter pound burger constructed with an Italian sausage patty, three strips of bacon, Swiss and American cheese, grilled onions, jalapeños, mayonnaise and BBQ sauce on a sesame seed bun. Oh yeah, the hilarious kicker? A powdered donut as garnish. Success! (Thx DamnThatLooksGood)


BBQ Pork Sausage Bacon Breakfast Local Yokel

This baby is called the “Local Yokel” and is served at the Honeypie Cafe in good old Milwaukee! This is nothing short of anything you could ever want in between two buns! “That’s what she said!”


Ultimate Patty Melt

This melt starts off with tablespoons of butter…Yeah, that’s a good start! It is followed up with two slices of rye,  American cheese,  Swiss cheese, ground chuck, and onions. I need to make one of these now! (Thx SE)