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What Your Choice Of Wing Sauce Reveals About You

Foodbeast

For some of us, the choosing of a wing sauce can be an agonizing process. For others, it’s as simple as stating a known, trustworthy preference. But no matter which category you fall into, your final selection basically tells your company everything they need to know about you as a human being – provided they have a proper understanding of sauce psychology, or that they’ve read my article. At any rate, here’s a quick guide to what those around you can learn about your character, according to each wing sauce you might choose.

Actually, You’ll Just Order The Burger – Go home. We’re here for wings and you’re not being a team player. You are cranky, unimaginative, dull, and soulless, and frankly I’m starting to feel good about the fact that not a drop of wing sauce will be wasted on your worthless pallet.

Mild – You’re agreeable enough, but ultimately you may be boring your friends due to your risk-averse, go-with-the-flow mentality. You’re the furthest thing from a natural leader, and unfortunately that probably gets you stuck doing things you don’t really want to do a lot of the time. Yup – you’re the one who does 80% of the work in the group project without calling anyone else out for being lazy. It was nice of you to come along, but we’re starting to get the feeling you’re just in it for the celery and carrot sticks. You probably don’t know who’s playing in the game we’re here to watch either.

Hot – Good for you. You know what you’re doing here, and you have enough experience to understand that the Habanero Madness option is just going to ruin your evening. You’re just the right mix of fun, bold, and exciting without being obnoxious to be around, and for that reason the people around you will probably always crave, or at least enjoy, your company. We’re going to get along.

Habanero Madness – This is a tricky one. If you order this because you have an unusually high tolerance for tongue-bursting spice, and you genuinely enjoy the extra kick, that’s fine – if you just order and eat. In that case, odds are you’re a little strange on the outside but a fascinating person for those who take the time to get to know you. On the other hand, if you sit at your end of the table saying the word “habanero” 47 times throughout the meal, and throw in a couple of “holy shit that’s hot!” exclamations, you’re a douchebag. Wing sauce reveals character in a subtle, quiet manner, but no one gives a fuck that you enjoy bathing your tongue in lava. And from now on, everything you say will seem like an exaggeration. We can’t wait to get away from you, and then talk shit about you.

Teriyaki – You’re the lovable goof of the group. Teriyaki wings are the ultimate “oops” order. You’ll love it for 1-3 wings’ worth, and then you’ll realize it’s all a little too sweet for dinner, and that no one restaurant’s teriyaki wings are better than another’s. But oh, well. You can shrug it off and do better next time.

Spicy Garlic – Well played, sir or lady. You’ve discovered that wings can be both spicy and flavored.  And, shock of all shocks, that’s who you are as a person. You do everything well, but also with your own special touch. You’re confident, effortlessly charming, and socially versatile. And you have a better feel than most for what you actually like.

Some Kind Of Caribbean Jerk Option – I mean, okay. If that’s what you want. You can’t really be judged because no one else at the table ordered this, and no one understands the psychology behind it. But if we had to venture a guess, you’re probably a little offbeat. You might be a little bit of a loner (the confident kind, though), and it’s a good bet you’re one of those people who manages to travel to South America 17 times a year despite not having a job yet out of college. Am I close? Can I… can I try one of those?

So there you have it. An indisputable, factually correct psych evaluation of wing sauce choice’s reflection on personal character.

Or at least, how I felt after my last trip to Buffalo Wild Wings.

This article was originally posted on theAlphaBrain. Pay them a visit and get all the latest on Life, Beer, Sports, Women, Food and More. 

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Hit-Or-Miss

New Data Shows McDonald’s Franchise Operators Are Not Stoked With The Company

Franchise-Fries

It’s not been a great year for McDonald’s. The fast food company has reported increasingly-low sales numbers this past year and with each financial quarter, it feels like they’re releasing promotion after promotion. In a recent survey among McDonald’s franchisees, things aren’t that with the chain’s franchise operators, either.

NRN reports that 32 operators, together owning a 215 total restaurants, were asked about McDonald’s current state of performance. While these operators only represent 1 percent of the company’s 3,100 US franchises, the survey gives consumers a look at the general impressions of the franchise owners.

According to franchisee polls, sales fell 3.7 percent in-store. While it was an improvement to the overall 4 percent drop in February, the numbers were only slightly better.

The 32 operators were given a scale representing McDonald’s turnaround overall. From one (poor) to five (excellent), a total of 1.81 was averaged. An all-time low. The running average currently sits at 2.8.

When asked about the relationship between the franchise owners and McDonald’s, only three called the experience “good” while the majority rated the experience as a “poor” one.

It doesn’t seem like the operators have too much faith in McDonald’s attempt after attempt to turn sales around with new promotions and constant rebranding in the last few months. One operator even went as far as saying the brand has “jumped the shark” with recent changes like Create Your Taste.

McDonald’s recent decision to begin paying its workers an extra $1 an hour caused a rift between the company and operators. That, and the increase cost of menu items, have seriously strained the relationship between franchisor and franchisee.

 

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Hit-Or-Miss

Study Shows Grilled Cheese Lovers Get Laid A LOT More Than Normal

Grilled-Cheese-Sex

According to a recent survey, one’s passion for grilled cheese sandwiches correlates to one’s passion in the bedroom. Though hopefully not at the same time.

The Skout survey was taken in honor of the upcoming National Grilled Cheese Day, Sunday April 12. Skout interviewed 4,600 people and discovered 73 percent of adults who love grilled cheese have sex at least once a month compared to the 63 percent who don’t like the sandwich. Also, 32 percent of grilled cheese lovers have sex six times a month versus the 27 percent that don’t.

It’s also noted that, according to the survey, grilled cheese lovers are also more charitable and adventurous. Outside of bed, of course.

Skout-Grilled-Cheese

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Hit-Or-Miss

The Most Common Restaurant Complaints by Diners [INFOGRAPHIC]

fork-spoon

Are you a negative Nancy when it comes to restaurant dining? You know — the kind that whines about imperfect dishes or bad service? Well, you’re not alone (although you might be driving waiters up a freakin’ wall). According to a 2014 survey of 1,003 adults by Consumer Reports, the average folk has plenty to complain about in restaurants.

It turns out about 16% of diners think it’s a turnoff when too much nutritional information is available, while 27% hate it when servers don’t bring water to the table unless asked. But the most common customer annoyance are receiving dirty utensils (78%), dirty restrooms (73%) and impolite or condescending servers (72%).

Any of these hit a nerve with you? Check out the full scope of complaints below:

Restaurant Complaints

Let’s just let it all out at once, 1, 2, 3… UGH.

Feel better?

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Hit-Or-Miss

The Nation’s Favorite Beers by State [Infographic]

states-beer-of-choice

Budlight reigns in Texas, while Portlandians are sipping Blue Moon and California beach babes are kicking back with Corona on the beach. This latest infographic by Blowish,  a company that sells hangover-relief tablets (a coincidence? I think not), surveyed the drinking habits of people from all 50 US states.

The boozy study included 5,249 drinkers over the ages of 21 and sheds scintillating insight on everything from the nation’s overall beer of choice to which professions are the most likely to be hungover on the jobs (waiters of America, I raise my glass to you).

Check out the findings in the infographic below:

america-beer-map.jpg

H/T Business Insider

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Hit-Or-Miss

Survey Says 60% of Self-Proclaimed Vegetarians Ate Meat Yesterday

paleo_diet

Pretty much every vegetarian has been accused of eating meat on the sly — which makes sense, since most meat eaters can’t picture life without steak (or hamburgers, or hot dogs, or bacon) and have a hard time understanding a voluntarily vegetarian lifestyle. But if you accuse a vegetarian of pounding down veal burgers during their off hours, chances are you’ll be met with some serious kale-fueled rage that’ll take a bucketful of bacon to forget. Pro tip: Next time, just skip the fuss and assume they’re lying. In fact, go ahead and assume that they ate meat yesterday. You’d probably be right. 

Let’s break down the facts, shall we? A poll conducted by CNN surveyed 10,000 Americans about their eating habits, and roughly 6% of the respondents self-identified as vegetarians. The researchers then asked individuals to describe their eating habits, and 60% of the “vegetarians” reported having eaten meat within the last twenty-four hours. Okay, that could’ve have been a fluke (or just a really, really dumb sample group). Then the U.S. Department of Agriculture conducted a similar study. This time, they telephoned approximately 13,000 Americans, and 3% claimed to be vegetarians. When they followed up a week later, 66% of the self-proclaimed veggie-lovers had eaten meat the day before.

The study speculated that the disconnect might be happening because different people have different definitions of “vegetarianism” despite the pretty obvious “no meat of any kind” definition that can be found in every dictionary and search engine. We’re just going to go ahead and call bullish*t on so-called vegetarians who claim veggie cred while sneaking fish filets under the table. Here’s the takeaway: Next time you meet a vegetarian preaching about the benefits of a flesh-free lifestyle, make sure you get up real close and personal while they’re lecturing. We’re betting their breath will smell like bacon.

H/T Psychology Today + PicThx PaleoHacks

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Hit-Or-Miss

According to New Survey, Democrats Prefer KFC, While Republicans Opt for Chick-Fil-A

ChickFILA KFC

Curious about whether someone’s a Democrat or a Republican — but don’t want to ask them about their political affiliation directly? Well, just ask them about if they prefer KFC of Chick-Fil-A. Apparently, that’s one surefire way to find out.

A new survey released this week by Public Policy Polling insists that Democrats and Republicans definitely have different food preferences. For example: Democrats like KFC better than Chick-Fil-A (39/18) while Republicans take Chick-Fil-A over KFC (48/29).

What else?

According to the study:

  • Democrats are cool with vegans (a 48/22 favorability rating) while GOP voters have a negative opinion of them (31/41).
  • Democrats prefer regular soda (47/31) while Republicans prefer diet (42/34).
  • Democrats are the party of bagels (34%) and croissants (32%) while Republicans prefer to eat donuts (35%).

And strangely enough — Republicans are more likely to believe that Olive Garden constitutes “a quality source of authentic ethnic food” (43/41), while Democrats (41/44) think it doesn’t. (We can’t help but to ask, incredulously: Really? What authentic ethnic food is this, exactly?)

It seems that both parties can agree on a few things, though: dinner is their favorite meal of the day. What else do they agree on? Things like fast food (both parties agree it’s awful for you) and (gasp) Coke over Pepsi.

H/T Public Policy Polling + PicThx Politico

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News

Canada: Chooses Bacon Over Sex

We all know how much Canadians love their bacon, but maybe just a little too much? In a recent study conducted by Maple Leaf Foods, 43% of the respondents said they would rather eat bacon than have sex. Apparently the survey also found out that 82% (4 out of 5) of the people who said they love bacon also said they are good lovers. And about 25% (1 in 4) of the respondents have wondered if ‘my partner loves bacon more than me’. Now if only someone could create a bacon flavored lube..oh wait there is, check after the jump for the picture.