Culture Film/Television Funny

If You Want to See Every Version of the Krabby Patty Made on Spongebob Squarepants, This Video is For You

There’s a small but vaunted group of foods in cartoons that are recognized as iconic. Count Homer Simpson’s pink donut, the plate of spaghetti with meatballs in Lady and the Tramp, and the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles’ extra cheesy pizza in that bunch. But such a list of legendary bites would never be complete without the Krabby Patty from Spongebob Squarepants.

Even though the actual formula of the beloved Krabby Patty has stayed elusive, the frenzy over them has never waned. Perhaps the mystery to its madness is a part of its appeal?

Whether you’re still dying to know its secrets or have settled on just appreciating Mr. Krabs’ masterpiece for what it is, I’ve stumbled across this compilation clip on YouTube of every Krabby Patty version ever made on the cartoon that should satisfy both ends of the spectrum. AKA this is over fourteen minutes of glorious, unadulterated Krabby Patty food porn that all Spongebob fans should watch.

Cover photo: Nickelodeon

Fast Food Film/Television Restaurants

Entrepreneur Tries To Make Spongebob’s ‘Krusty Krab’ A Real Restaurant, Gets Denied

You know what fictional restaurant I’d love to see come to life? The Krusty Krab, from Spongebob Squarepants. I mean, what 90s child hasn’t dreamed of sinking their teeth into a bonafide Krabby Patty?

Of course, there have been attempts to bring Mr. Krabs’ pride and joy to life before. There is a restaurant in Palestine that’s been open for a while, but no official Krusty Krab exists in the US yet. One restaurateur’s recent attempt to make that happen has sadly fallen short.

Viacom, the media conglomerate that owns and runs Spongebob, won a legal challenge to keep Javier Ramos from using the restaurant’s name for his own seafood chain. According to Reuters, Viacom doesn’t own the trademark for “The Krusty Krab,” which is why this guy and his investor group, IJR Capital Investments LLC, thought they could utilize the name for their restaurants.

The name may have never been filed with the US Patent and Trademark Office, but its usage in countless episodes of Spongebob and associated merch has created an association and “trademark” worth protecting, according to the judges.

Unfortunately, that does kill the restaurateur’s current dreams of having his own Krusty Krab chain. It’s not all lost, however, as Viacom may be willing to license naming rights to the guy to make the restaurants happen. That possibility isn’t outlandish, considering that the media giant does the exact same thing with Bubba Gump Shrimp Co. restaurants, which are associated with the legendary film Forrest Gump.

That makes this legal decision more of a roadblock than a obstacle to keeping a Krusty Krab from opening in the US. Who knows? Maybe Viacom will be willing to let a few open up one day.

Just don’t let Patrick Star run the phone lines.

Culture Hit-Or-Miss Humor

People Think The Krabby Patty’s Secret Was Crab Meat, And It Makes So Much Sense

As funny as it was that Sheldon J. Plankton was always looking for underhanded ways to find out Mr. Krabs’ secret Krabby Patty formula, fans of the show have tried to figure out the mysterious burger recipe just as hard as he did.

There have always been theories, such as the secret ingredient being MSG, and the most popular one being that it’s King Neptune’s Poseidon Powder.

However, the most horrific theory going around makes so much sense.

Making its rounds on Reddit, fans of the show have pointed out that when looking at the rest of the menu, the items are named after what they are made out of, so by that logic, the Krabby Patty’s secret formula involves crab meat.

The answer was in the name all along, and some are calling out Mr. Krabs for killing his own kind. We wouldn’t put it past the sly businessman to cook a crab, and it is rather strange that there are no other crabs in the underwater city of Bikini Bottom.

One Reddit user even said that in the Netherlands, the Krabby Patty is just called the Crab Burger.

Then some have referenced a 2003 episode, where Mr. Krabs takes a bite out of a Krabby Patty and uttered the words, “Hmm, so that’s what I taste like.” Out of context, the clip makes you have a mind blowing moment, but the reason Mr. Krabs said it was because the burger was described by a customer as “old and dried out, like that man (Mr. Krabs) over there.”

Is Mr. Krabs a cannibal? Maybe, but I like the theory that says there is no secret recipe and Mr. Krabs is using a placebo effect. Mr. Krabs’ cheap ass would do something like that, and as a bonus, it drove Plankton nuts.


Slide Whistle Straws Let You Drink Like a Cartoon Character


There’s an old episode of Spongebob Squarepants in which Spongebob, Patrick, and Squidward get their hands on some slide whistles and proceed to add inappropriate sound effects to EVERYTHING in Bikini Bottom — from automatic doors opening to lover’s quarrels. While we don’t recommend being that insufferable, these “Wet My Whistle” straws from Fred & Friends could add some much needed entertainment to an otherwise joyless drinking experience.

Slide whistle when your buddy gets turned down by a girl at the bar. Slide whistle to cover unpleasant vomiting sounds. Slide whistle just to slide whistle, because you and your friends are drunk and no one will remember how annoying you’re being anyway. The “slide” works by pulling the straw in and out of liquid as you blow, providing the perfect excuse to keep drinking — or the perfect excuse for the bartender to cut you off early.


Wet My Whistle Musical Straws, available soon for $9.99 @Fred & Friends

H/T Incredible Things