Categories
Celebrity Grub Drinks Hit-Or-Miss

Stars Of Hit Show ‘Silicon Valley’ Have Hilarious Foodie Conversation [WATCH]

For whatever reason, Smirnoff got two of the most popular actor / comedians to mix up Moscow Mules in Los Angeles.

TJ Miller and Thomas Middleditch, have very little experience in the bartending scene, but they did their best and put together some good Mules.

Of the two, Miller actually worked at a bar when he was younger. His career in the bar industry didn’t last long though, as he said he was fired after he and his Spanish-speaking co-workers nicknamed the general manager “Quince.” If you speak Spanish, you’re probably wondering why they called the man “Fifteen.”

Well:

“He (allegedly) liked 15-year-old boys, I think was the reason for that,” Miller said. “Welcome to the internet. Glad we got that in there.”

Thankfully, making drinks wasn’t in the books for either of them, and the whole comedy thing ended up working out a lot better. Now they’ve got fans left and right, leaving them with hard decisions when it comes to accepting drinks at bars.

The two shared their protocols on taking drinks from fans, and if you seem friendly enough Middleditch said he’ll have a drink with you.

“Depends entirely on what I’m doing, or how aggessive they are,” Middleditch explained. “If they seem like people that scare me, I tend to slither away, but if they seem like nice folks, I may do a shooter with them.”

Miller, however, won’t take you up on that drink because it never ends well.

“You never, like, take the shot, then have the greatest conversation of your life,” Miller said. “Plus, if you took all the shots they gave you, you’d die.”

Now you know. So if you see one of the comedians at a bar, Middleditch might take you up on a shot, but Miller could very well tell you to f*ck off.

Check out a segment of the interview below, as we played a litte word association where the duo gave their takes on burritos, In-N-Out, and even chicken nuggets. Middleditch even serenaded us with his old school viral McNugget song.

Categories
Alcohol Humor News Now Trending

Child Accidentally Brings Vodka To School In Epic Lunchbox Fail

We’ve all had those days where we’re in a rush to get ready and make mistakes as a result.

This mistake ended up being a truly hilarious one.

In the rush to get ready to take her daughter to school, an unnamed mom for Queensland, Australia had her five-year-old daughter pick a frozen juice pouch to pack into her lunchbox for school. However, she forgot that there were also frozen pouches of Smirnoff-infused raspberry sorbet in the freezer. As luck would have it, the daughter ended up picking a pouch of the vodka dessert instead of actual juice.

According to the Daily Mail, the woman wrote a post on Facebook about the comical mishap, which she didn’t discover until the child’s teacher called her regarding the Smirnoff.

“Made for a very interesting phone call from the teacher. I apologised for not sending enough for the teachers and they just laughed, thankfully!”

At least the five-year-old didn’t end up consuming the alcohol-infused sorbet. Can you imagine having to deal with a child that’s high on sugar and buzzed on vodka? Yikes.

Categories
Hit-Or-Miss

Ready to Drink Frozen Smirnoff and Parrot Bay Pouches Totally Look Like Alcoholic Capri Sun

This intro goes out to all the incoming college freshmen: if (and when) you start to feel small and scared and nostalgic for the playground, Diageo USA has just created the perfect way to get recess-wasted with new Freeze and Squeeze Parrot Bay & Smirnoff Frozen Drink Pouches.

That’s right, it’s alcohol. In a pouch. Get your vodka gummies out.

Full disclosure: these bad boys were actually designed to provide a quick and easy way for party hosts to serve mixed drinks without having to mix anything, and therefore don’t come with any actual straws or straw holes. But there’s nothing stopping you from popping one in yourself (except maybe your date of birth, but hey, that’s what Bigs and RAs are for). So just grab a few, freeze them overnight and get yo’ illegal classroom-drank on the next day—all without ever using a blender or fake ID.

New Diageo Freeze and Squeeze packs come in six flavors, the Parrot Bays being a bit more “traditional” in their range (i.e., Frozen Strawberry Daiquiri, Frozen Mango Daiquiri and Frozen Piña Colada), and the Smirnoffs more innocently disguised as summertime-childhood fare with flavors like Frozen Strawberry Lemonade, Frozen Blue Raspberry Lemonade and Frozen Cherry Limeade.

Granted, as cool as these alcoholic “juice bags” are, they’re definitely not the first of their kind, having been released about a year after cocktail brand Daily’s introduced their own Frozen Drink Pouches around mid-2011. But that doesn’t make them any less fun. Or potentially dangerous.

Both Parrot Bay and Smirnoff Freeze and Squeeze Pouches are 5% ABV and are available in single 10 oz. sizes for $1.99.

Bangarang.

Categories
Features

4 Drinks That Can Turn Your Independence Day Party Into a Sh*t Show, Real Fast

Wooo! America! Time to pound some more alcohol! Give me another shot! Let’s drop a deuce on your neighbor’s back porch!

Admit it. You’ve heard some variation of the above, and as much as you hate to agree with it, it’s true. You’re at a really awesome 4th of July barbecue (maybe even your own), and things get really bad, really fast.

This post is dedicated to four drinks that are guaranteed to ruin your entire day, either by means of drinking way too much, or because of serious 3rd degree burns from a BBQ grill that floats on water.

Without further ado, I present the fantastic four game-enders at any party:

1. Four Loko’s New Coconut, Peach and Strawberry Lemonade Flavors

Just recently, Four Loko released three brand new flavors. And even more recently, some idiot (maybe you) decides to bring Four Loko to a party because, “Hey, what better way to get drunk on Independence Day than with a can of Four Loko?”

Wrong. You know the drill, you and your buddies start off sipping one can, even though you all think it tastes utterly disgusting. Then, you drink another because of how drunk you’re starting to feel, and then you trick another unassuming friend into having some. Although there may be no caffeine or stimulants since the man cracked down on the drink’s ingredients, things can go south pretty fast with just one or two of these. Or eight.

2. Lime-A-Rita — Bud Light’s Take on Margarita

As gross as it may seem, I’ve heard first hand reports that Bud Light’s Lime-A-Rita doesn’t taste that bad. And that, my friends, is another reason why this drink could be a party ender this Fourth of July.

In case you’re wondering what it is (or can’t tell from the photo), the Lime-A-Rita is Bud Light’s take on infusing the flavors of an ‘authentic margarita with a refreshing splash of Bud Light Lime.’

Since the drink doesn’t taste too bad, you’ve got everyone from your 22-year-old brother to your 82-year-old grandma to shotgunning these cans. But! (A big but, here) Since the drink resembles a beer taste and is carbonated, there’s a big chance drinkers will feel sick way before they feel drunk.

3. Kahlua Introduces Cans-To-Go

Kahlua tastes good. Kahlua also contains alcohol. When you put the delicious taste of Kahlua into a handheld can, casual, not-so-hardcore drinkers can get drunk pretty fast after they’ve realized how many cans they’ve gone through. Kudos to you, Kahlua, you’ve created a little monster. Kudos.

4. Really, Really Delicious Marshmallow and Whipped Cream-flavored Vodka

Knowing this from first hand reports in the office, SMIRNOFF Whipped Cream and Fluffed Marshmallow Flavored Vodka is delicious. Dangerously delicious, almost. The vodka tastes like a liquid cupcake, if you may. Even with the strongest taste buds, finding the taste of alcohol in this line of vodka is what deems it so deliciously evil.

Not too far back, we even dedicated a video that showcases a night out on the town with some of the FOODBEAST staff, with a little bit of SMIRNOFF pre-gaming action. See for yourselves just what I mean by dangerously evil and delicious:

——

On a final note, we at FOODBEAST want to make sure you’re all drinking safely and responsibly. Be careful if you’re driving on the Fourth of July, and be sure to have a designated driver if you decide to go out and drink.

Happy Independence Day, everybody!

Categories
Video

Amber Rose in the New Smirnoff Vodka Fluffed & Whipped Ad [VIDEO]

In terms of vodka videos floating around the web, Amber Rose‘s appearance in the new campaign for the new Smirnoff Whipped Cream & Fluffed Marshmallow flavors is definitely sexier than the taste test we setup last week. The entire commercial follows Amber as she decides if she wants some of the Fluffed or Whipped variety, talking nonsense about how “Vodka never felt so good” and living in a magical palace where beautiful ladies swing from the ceiling.

I feel like I should be mad at this commercial, but strangely, I am not:

Categories
Video

Tasting SMIRNOFF Whipped Cream & Fluffed Marshmallow Vodkas [VIDEO]

Last week we reported on the launch of the new SMIRNOFF Vodka Whipped Cream and Fluffed Marshmallow flavors, and a few short days later we got our hands on a few bottles for taste testing purposes. What did we think?

Delicious. Almost too delicious. As you can see from the disgusting video, it goes down way too easy and chasers are a mere after thought. Vodka that tastes like frosting? The game is over:

Categories
Hit-Or-Miss

SMIRNOFF Releases Whipped Cream and Fluffed Marshmallow Vodkas

SMIRNOFF Vodka announced today that it will be introducing two new flavored vodkas into a market that needs more variety (sarcasm much?) — Whipped Cream and Fluffed Marshmallow. The world’s number-one selling and most awarded vodka brand is dabbling into flavors that would go well with a bacholerette party or a manageable pre-party drink for those Friday night bingers (or Tuesday nights, you know who you are).

The SMIRNOFF Whipped Cream Flavored Vodka is described as “possess[ing] a seductive aroma that compliments its smooth whipped cream taste.” The SMIRNOFF Fluffed Marshmallow Flavored Vodka is described as “having a refreshing and airy scent that is met with the subtle sweetness of confection.”

Categories
Packaged Food

Smirnoff and Pringles: A Match Made in Munchies Heaven?

According to an image uploaded to funny image curation site MyFoodLooksFunny, we get a glimpse at a Smirnoff + Pringles combination package. There’s little to no information about this product or any sort of affiliation between the two brands, but the match definitely seems interesting! Get drunk, and eat Pringles. MmmMmm.