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Celebrity Grub Video

Gordon Ramsay Lists The 5 Worst Halloween Treats You Can Give Out

Gordon Ramsay’s not big on Halloween, but at least he won’t give shitty candy when your kids walk up to his door in their spooky costumes.

Having kids of his own, Ramsay’s very aware of what trick-or-treaters don’t want to see in their giant bags of candy, and in PSA-like fashion, Gordon appeared on Jimmy Kimmel Live to let us know that we shouldn’t be handing out these garbage candies and treats.

In his typical foul-mouthed fashion, Ramsay rips each item, and by the end of it, you’re going to just feel like an asshole for even considering giving these out to the happy little children in your neighborhood.

If you do give any of the following candies out, in the words of Ramsay himself, “F*ck off!”

Smarties

smarties

“Seriously, the perfect combination of aspirin and Tums. Smarties are for f*cking dummies.”

Circus Peanuts

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“How f*ckin’ sad are they? You know what Circus Peanuts are? Clown s*it!”

Candy Corn

candy-corn

“It’s not candy, it’s not corn, it’s ear wax formed in the shape of a rotten tooth.”

Apples

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“Do I look like a f*ckin’ teacher, mate? Let me give you a lesson; go buy some proper f*cking candy.”

Pennies

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“In 2016 you’re still giving out f*cking pennies! F*ck off!”

Categories
Hit-Or-Miss

Apparently, Children Are Getting Peer Pressured Into Snorting & Smoking Smarties

smarties-drugs

Apparently, snorting and smoking smarties is the latest epidemic to plague schools in America. And yes, that’s smarties, as in those age-old mini multi-colored candies wrapped in plastic.

According to CBS News, a Portsmouth middle school in Rhode Island sent out an email to parents informing them that kids are crushing up the hard candy and either snorting the fine powder through a rolled up paper, or exhaling the dust through their mouths or nose like smoke.

While doctors say the finely chopped candy may give children a sugar rush, they assure parents that it won’t get anyone “high.” The email continued to provide a detailed list of the health risks associated with this trend, including infection, scarring of the nasal cavity and maggot infestation in the nose. The potential of crushed Smarties as a gateway drug to other substances like cigarettes were also brought up as a possibility. Although, we’re still stuck on the idea of maggots feeding off sugar embedded in your nose to take this issue seriously.

Picthx Wiki

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Video

Watch Buzzfeed’s Definitive Guide to Trading Candy

Sometimes working in web news, it’s hard to swallow when another site scoops a killer story, but even we can’t deny Buzzfeed’s new “Guide to Trading Candy” is awesome.

It’s relevant. It’s deadpan. It’s surprisingly insightful for anyone who’s pondered the connection between someone’s favorite candy and their budding career. (Hint: dark chocolates are future bosses, wax lip-ers will be prostitutes.)

A few other highlights:
-Good & Plenties are not unicorn eggs, as discovered by one poor baby sister who traded her whole candy stash for a box of them.
-Black black no trades back, unless you’re a baby or an old guy.
-“If you’d like to download a PDF version of this chart, please look in your butt.”

Touché, Buzzfeed. Touché.

Categories
Hit-Or-Miss

New “Mystery Smarties” Will Mix Colors & Flavors

Mystery Smarties are mixing it up for those who are familiar with the classics. According to a report out of Candy and Snack Today, the new Smarties Mystery-flavor candy is a mix of original, tropical and X-treme sour flavors, complete with mismatched colors. You can expect to see this 2.25-ounce roll selling for 89 cents to $1.19.

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Hit-Or-Miss

What Halloween Candy Is Saying About Your Personality [INFOGRAPHIC]

It’s Halloween time, and whether you know it or not, the type of candy you hand out to trick-or-treaters might be defining you as an individual. While the following infographic is one group‘s take on the matter, it does lead into an interesting discussion on candy nostalgia and what current Halloween treats say about your personality.

Do you give out toothbrushes? Maybe you’re a Fun Dip type of person. You better figure it out, because one means you’re sweet deep down, and the other might allude you’re harboring some dark secrets.

In what candy category do you fall?

 

Categories
Sweets

Kit-Kat + Snickers + Smarties Cake

Created for a candy lover, I’d presume. (PicThx MichelleCakes)

Categories
Features Sweets

How to Smoke Smarties Candies

There are a few different video tutorials like this one floating around the web, and after watching them all, this is definitely the best. As a website with a reputation (haha), we can’t condone this behavior, but we can definitely report on it! Apparently this is the hottest new craze in the Tween sector, and all the cool kids are doing it. Crush up your Smarties candies and inhale, and blow it out…it looks like cigerette smoke! The kid above handles this with class…but there are a few other videos that I stumbled upon, and the only reason I want to post links to them now is in the hopes that YouTube sees them, and resultingly, re-evaluates their Terms of Service by allowing kids under the age of 9 to have YouTube accounts and freedom of speech. (Epitome of Cool, Sunglasses Indoors Cool, Future Ex-Girlfriend Cool, Bernie Mac Show’s Son Cool, Cooler, Coolest, Daycare Dropout Cool, Sexiest)