Hialeah police discovered 18 tons of Crisco in an abandoned tractor-trailer in South Florida, reports the St. Petersburg Tribune. The trailer contained 36,000 pounds of Crisco vegetable shortening sticks. The rig with the shortening was reported stolen Sunday morning from a towing company, according to St. Petersburg police.
While the thieves were nowhere to be found, the Crisco appeared to be intact within the trailer, which was scheduled to be delivered to a distribution facility in Lakeland.
The question of why anyone would need that much vegetable shortening still remains a mystery. A list of possible scenarios the stolen Crisco could be used for follows:
- Giant pastry for their community, à la Robin Hood.
- They’re greasing up for an even bigger heist.
- Crisco is some form of New World currency we’re still unfamiliar with.
A few weeks back, 350,000 pounds of raw chicken were also stolen from a similar rig and held for ransom. While the events are almost certainly unrelated, that would have made a great fried chicken story.
St. Petersburg police are currently looking for any leads that will help locate the Crisco thieves.
H/T St. Petersburg Tribune Picthx Crisco