With the plethora of dating apps that are available nowadays, the number of first dates people can go on now seems infinite. With that same token, because meeting new potential lovers is so easy now, standards have been raised, resulting in a lot of first dates and only a few second dates.
I can’t help you with your personality, if you suck then you suck. However, the food you eat and the way you eat it is something that can be helped.
Don’t Stuff Yourself
You would think this is common knowledge, but I can tell you right now, I’ve broken this rule once or twice and paid the price for it. Nobody wants to go home with the guy that’s rolling around on the restaurant floor, grunting and moaning like a beached whale trying to shimmy back into the water. Unless she’s rolling around on the floor with you. In that case, you may have just found the exception to the rule, grab her hand and put a ring on it. Preferably an onion ring.
Be Willing To Share Your Food
Guys, if you’re anything like me, you don’t want to share your food. At this early stage in the relationship though, you need to be OK with it. There will be plenty of times in the future where you can ban your girl from coming near your plate, even use the items on the table as a makeshift barrier to keep her and her intrusive fork out of your no-try zone. Try to offer a bite of your food. More often than not, your date will politely decline, but she will remember that you offered, and that could go a long way.
Avoid Greens That Will Get Stuck In Your Teeth
Things like arugula and spinach could cause obnoxious trouble, since they can stick to your teeth when they’re steamed or drenched in dressing, kind of like how wet toilet paper sticks to the side of the toilet at your favorite dive bar. Things in most salads like iceberg lettuce and cucumbers won’t cause any trouble, since the crunchy texture makes them more difficult to hide in your mouth.
Sidenote: While they aren’t one of the leafy vegetables, other foods that teeth use as clothing are small seeds, peanut skins, popcorn, fruit skins, celery and stringy meats.
Stay Away From Sea Creatures With Shells
There’s a girl out there living her life without me in it because I ordered crab legs on our first date and squirted crab juices directly into her eye, from four feet away. She was sweet enough to laugh it off and finish the date, but the sight of me crushing legs and sending shards of shell flying all over the place likely didn’t help my cause. That image doesn’t induce sexual desires, I assure you.
While we’re on the subject, try to avoid sucking down oysters as well. While they can be a powerful aphrodisiac, the sound and image of slurping it down alone is enough to turn a lot of people off.
Messy Finger Foods
I love ribs and wings as much as the next red-blooded American, but girls don’t really resonate with guys whose faces are slathered in barbecue or hot sauce. Remember, if you play your cards right, she’ll be making out with you later. Do you really want to kiss her and have her get a taste of the leftover Frank’s Hot Sauce in your mouth? And to take it a step further, on your fingers? Think about it. In fact, try to avoid finger foods altogether. Women are turned on by refined men who are polite and have manners, throttling chicken fingers with a kung fu grip may not necessarily hurt your cause, but it certainly won’t help either.
Things That Make You Go “Pfffffttttt”
Hold it in! Farting due to stress or nervousness is a fairly universal issue with humans. Since your anxiety already might cause some bubbling in your stomach, it’s best to avoid foods that can double up on that methane output, such as beans, cabbage, garlic, broccoli, turnips and the majority of dairy products. While they may not make you gassy right then and there at dinner, they certainly will at a later time that might be ridiculously inconvenient for you, if you catch my drift. Thankfully I have no harrowing experiences with this, but I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that I’ve cut it pretty close before (pun intended).
Pick A Regular Spot
Going out to a cool new place could be fun, especially if it’s a place neither of you have been to before. Jumping into a mystery together can certainly be great a way to bond. Despite all of this, you should still avoid going to a new spot on the first date. It’s a dangerous game to play, especially if you or your date have any dietary restrictions or specific eating habits based on ethical or religious reasons, something you might not even know until it’s too late and you’re sitting at Lucille’s Barbecue with a vegan.
Follow these rules and you should be in good shape for your second date. Just don’t ask me what to do for those, that’s a completely different ball game.