Categories
Health

Hero Scientists Create Seaweed That Tastes Like Bacon

Bacon-Lottery

We’ve hit a pivotal moment in humanity where we can create something as healthy as kale, but delicious like bacon. According to the Associated Press, scientists at Oregon State University have done just that.

A recently patented strain of seaweed, called dulse, was somehow combined with the flavor of the salty pork product. The seaweed is found along the Pacific and Atlantic coastlines. No specifics were given as to how the seaweed was given the bacon flavor, but no one’s complaining.

Some dulse-based products have already been in development. Among them are a rice cracker, salad dressing and bacon-flavored strips that you fry up.

Dulse is said to be packed with minerals, protein, vitamins and antioxidants. The team spent 15 years developing this specific type of seaweed. Originally, it was meant to serve as a super food for abalone. Turns out the powers that be had greater plans for dulse.

While said to taste like the unbearably delicious bacon, it’s actually twice as healthy as kale.

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#foodbeast

Roy Choi’s Furikake Kettle Corn

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Recipe: Joy The Baker

Categories
Features

What 24 Pizzas From The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Cartoon Look Like IRL

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As a kid, I loved watching the ’90s Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles cartoon. Who didn’t? One of the things that stuck was all the ridiculous pizzas Michelangelo and his brothers would order throughout the series. As the years passed, I started to think some of those pizzas could actually be pretty delicious if done right. Though it did take a solid 22 years for anchovies to grow on me.

Like his Renaissance namesake, who would have thought Mikey was ahead of his time. Using some hunger-fueled imagination I recreated 24 of the most disgusting pizza orders from the TV show and turned them into something you could order at a restaurant. Cowabunga.

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Tuna fish, peanut butter and grape jelly

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Tuna ahi poke on top of a bed of seaweed salad and drizzled some hot, melted peanut butter and grape jelly on top. Went more for color than taste. Ending up tasting great so that worked itself out.

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Peanut butter and clams

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Drenched the pizza in a cajun peanut butter sauce with four fresh calms. The heat from the sauce really made the clams, no pun intended, pop. Crawfish for garnish.

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Peanut butter, avocado and extra pickles

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A bed of guacamole topped with avocado slices, melted peanut butter and some sweet dill pickle chips. This is actually a sandwich I make on many an occasion.

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Marshmallow and pepperoni

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Pepperoni and cheese pizza topped with roasted marshmallows. The marshmallows look like haunting little lifeboats on a sea of pepperoni.

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Marshmallow and asparagus

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Asparagus and cheese baked directly into the crust and topped with toasted mini marshmallows. Had to many different versions of this one before I settled on this. Couldn’t be happier.

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Guacamole and Marshmallow

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A generous heap of freshly made guacamole and topped with a single marshmallow lit on fire. Kids, don’t try this at home. Grownups, go nuts.

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Butterscotch, onions and anchovies

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Onion and anchovies caramelized in brown sugar and a butterscotch sauce. Tasted great but stunk up my kitchen like nobody’s business. Do turtles have nostrils?

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Tea and toast

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A buttered slice of toast on top of tomato sauce and sprinkled with tea leaves, parmesan cheese and more tomato sauce. The original concept for this had chunks of toast drenched in tea. NOT. APPETIZING.

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Chocolate sprinkles and clam sauce

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A cheese pizza made with a hearty clam sauce and chocolate sprinkles and garnished with green onions. Not easy to make clam sauce pop on a pizza. Had to tweak it into a chowder. Master Splinter would be proud.

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Chocolate-chip

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Chocolate chips baked into the pizza and drenched with a generous amount of hot fudge. It’s essentially a cookie.

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Chocolate fudge with extra garlic

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A generous amount of fried garlic on top of a pool of melted chocolate fudge. Definitely not something you’d order on a first date, but then again, are any of these pizzas?

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Chocolate fudge, sardine, chili pepper, whipped cream

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A cheese and whipped cream pizza topped with shaved chocolate fudge and red chili flakes. Served with a fried sardine filet in chocolate fudge sauce. Any nutrients that piece of sardine contains is neutralized by that mountain of whipped cream. I guarantee it.

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Anchovies and hot fudge

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Hot chocolate fudge drizzled over anchovy filets on a sauceless white pizza. Until the day anchovies turn into giant mutated fish that eat people, they’ll forever be my favorite fish.

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Pepperoni and hot fudge

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A classic pepperoni and cheese pizza drizzled with a little chocolate fudge. Just a little. We’re not animals.

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Pepperoni and pickles

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Cheese and pepperoni pizza with sweet dill pickle chips. The pickles add a crunch that can be heard all through the New York sewer systems.

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Jelly bean and sausage

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A spicy pork chorizo and sour cream pizza topped with queso fresco and fresh cilantro and served with a jalapeño jellybean gastrique. The jelly beans had us stumped but luckily Reddit came to the rescue.

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Salami pizza with double yogurt

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Two servings of vanilla yogurt topped with fresh salami slices and drizzled with blackberry jelly. If you can get over the idea of salami and yogurt, it goes down pretty tastily.

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Shredded coconut and sweet pickles

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Pizza is topped with shredded coconut, drizzled with hot mustard and topped with sweet pickle chips. Shredder would be a crazy handy guy to have in this situation.

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Strawberry with anchovy sauce

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Caramelized strawberries served with an anchovy butter sauce and topped with whipped cream. This one was the most difficult to come up with. Thankfully, whipped cream saved the day.

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Hot oatmeal

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Hot, buttery oatmeal topped with brown sugar, honey and fresh strawberries. It’s another side to breakfast pizza.

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Popcorn

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Truffle oil popcorn with parsley flakes and parmesan cheese. There’s a pizza somewhere under that mountain of popcorn.

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Anchovies and banana

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Caramelized rum bananas and anchovy filets. The pizza that inspired this post. The bananas and anchovies were the perfect balance of sweet and salty.

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Goulash

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Hot goulash served with crumbles of queso fresco. After a quick Google search of what exactly goulash was, it was pretty easy to make.

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Granola and licorice 

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Vanilla yogurt topped with granola and shaved red licorice. It was a bitch to hand shred licorice, but doesn’t it look pretty?

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Video for verification

Categories
Features

16 Things That Taste Just Like My Asian American Childhood

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Nabisco? Hostess? Please, it’s all about Lotte, Glico and Calbee.

Growing up Asian-American, it was always hard not to feel just a little bit different from your peers, especially at lunchtime. While your classmates were knocking back Capri Suns and Dunkaroos, you’d be stuck drinking probiotic Yakult and eating Hello Panda crackers. But that’s okay, because trips to the Asian grocery store with your parents usually meant stopping by the toy counters out front and picking up the newest holographic Pokemon cards, which were always loads cooler than anything you’d find in a Cracker Jack box.

With that in mind, here’s a list of the top 16 Things That Taste Just Like Your Asian American Childhood. Mmm, just like mom used to pack.

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1. Pocky, Yan Yan, Hello Panda

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Never underestimate the simple joy of crunchy bread dipped in chocolate cream. Also available in Strawberry.

Picthx Asian Food Grocer

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2. Lychee Jelly

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These always came in giant buckets, but for some reason there were never enough. WHY WERE THERE NEVER ENOUGH?

Picthx Viet Wah

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3. Shrimp-Flavored Chips

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The Asian equivalent of gum (i.e., once you opened a pack, you could pretty much say goodbye to it forever).

(Notable mention: Snow Pea Crisps)

Picthx Amazon

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4. Calpico, Ramune

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For some reason, Japanese sodas were never content just being one color or flavor, and for some reason, the Strawberry one was always the best.

Picthx Asian Food Grocer, Sand Village Farm

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5. Yakult

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You had the inkling feeling this was supposed to be like liquid yogurt, but decided it was probably best not to ask too many questions.

Picthx Fechando O Ziper

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6. Dry Ramen Packets

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When you have built in crunchy noodles and built in seasoning, who needs chips? (Serving suggestion: crushed and shaken up in a zip-lock bag.)

Picthx Newgrounds

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7. Haw Flakes

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Admittedly these ones tasted kinda funny and you only ate them because your dad gave them to you, but at least tearing open the packs was always fun. Plus they kinda looked like fireworks.

Picthx Nummy Nims

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8. Dry Seaweed

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Perfect with or without rice.

Picthx Nourishing Meals

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9. Tamarind and Coffee-Flavored Candies

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Also available at most Asian restaurants (with the check, of course).

Picthx World of Snacks

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10. White Rabbit

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Two words: Edible. Paper.

Picthx Cafe Zupas

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11. Boba

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Admit it, you felt kinda cool when all your American friends started asking you to take them to get “bubble tea.”

Picthx Tasting Tampa

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12. Rice-Seaweed Crackers, Wasabi Peas, Nagaraya Crackers

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Picthx Hibiki, Nut Stop, Food Recap

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13. Hi-Chew

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Just like harder, chewier Starburst, except they also came in Melon and Mango, aka possibly the best Asian-inspired flavors ever.

Picthx David Wong

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14. Asian Ice Pops

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Hands down, 1 million times better than Otter Pops, just because they were a million times easier to open. Oh, snap.

Picthx Asian Food Grocer, Please Let It Be Friday

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15. Orion Choco Pie

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Picthx Old Delhi Mart

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16. Pork Sung

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Lastly, pork sung, which, despite all appearances, is really not hair. Really.

Picthx E Food Depot

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Leader Image: Jordan Plenzich, Flickr

Categories
Products

Sushi Cologne is Apparently a Real Thing

On paper, food colognes should make a lot of sense. Food smells good. Perfumes and colognes also smell good. So why is it that every time I try to imagine a sushi-scented cologne, I get dizzy and seasick and want to tell someone to make better life decisions?

Oh right. Because they’d smell like fish.

But if you’re totally fine with pissing everyone off within a 3 foot radius, this Sushi cologne by Demeter has apparently been around for a while now. Which shouldn’t be too surprising, considering their scent repertoire includes such concoctions as Dirt, Crayon and Laundromat. But it’s still bizarre enough to warrant a capital WTF. Question mark. Exclamation point. Exclamation point. Question mark.

And okay, so according to the cologne’s website, “Sushi” doesn’t actually smell like fish per se, consisting instead of “just cooked sticky rice and straight from the seaside seaweed, laced with hints of ginger and lemon essences.” But anything outside of a Japanese restaurant that reminds me I’m not currently eating sushi is still enough to be annoying.

For shame madam, for shame.

Demeter 4 oz. Sushi Cologne: $20 @ Amazon

Categories
Cravings

Seaweed Chips

Need a new snack for the Lakers game today? Impress your friends with your cultural diversity and make some seaweed chips! These strips of fried goodness consist of sheets laid between spring roll skins, lightly seasoned and coated with egg wash and deep fried in sesame oil. You could also bake these chips, if you’re a health nut! Check out the full recipe at “Cherry On A Cake“, go Lakers!

Categories
News

Katana-Carved Sandwich

katana-carved-sandwich

It’s about time Japanese food came through with a sandwich (pardon my ignorance if they already do). Tempura sweet potato as the bread, layered up with ginger, sashimi and wakame seaweed. I don’t know what my friends will say when we’re out at the sushi spot and they catch me making this sandwich in between Saki shots….OK let’s be real…I don’t have a “sushi spot”….or friends. (Thx Insanewiches)

Categories
Adventures News

Tokyo Cafe: Trip One

There is a secret hidden spot in the Orange circle; a secret hidden sushi spot that noone knows about that sells amazing sushi for super cheap prices. No one can find it. Ok, it’s not a secret at all, actually it’s probably one of the most popular places in the circle. Tokyo Cafe is a godsend. I could rave on and on about how amazing this place is, but instead I’ll let the pictures do the talking. Check out Elie and my business meeting: