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The Pizza Scarf Keeps Your Neck Warm & Greasy, Kinda

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It wouldn’t surprise us if you’re disappointed by the fact that this is a scarf posing as a pizza rather than an enormous scarf-shaped slice of pizza. We get it, we really do. But once you’ve gotten over that initial urge to sink your teeth into a stranger’s neckwear, you’ll realize that this pizza scarf by Raspberries and Rum is actually perfect for the following reasons:

1. It’s an ethically sound and fashion-forward alternative to Lady Gaga’s meat dress.

2. Nothing says “love me” like “I have just wrapped your favorite food around my throat,” so it’s perfect for Valentine’s Day.

3. Everyone who sees you will immediately know what it feels like to be a vampire.

4. It’s a pizza scarf.

The whole food-as-fashion thing is still relatively new, so there’s no dress code to explicitly forbid you from wearing this anywhere. Your boss will appreciate you showcasing the pizza scarf’s versatility just as much as your spouse will when you wear it on your wedding day, and seventy bucks seems pretty cheap for a garment you can wear literally everywhere. The only downside is that it’ll make you hungry and then refuse to nourish you, but hey, not everything can be as perfect as a real slice of pizza.

Pizza Scarf $70 @Etsy

H/T Incredible Things

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The Silk Bacon Scarf, For The Man Who Has Everything

It’s called the “Fou Lard” and it’s a scarf. A 100% silk scarf. That’s digitally printed–wait for it–to look like bacon.

This is the brain child of Swiss artist, Natalie Luder, and is apparently meant to symbolize man’s dominance over animals. Or something.

The German expression “man ist, was man isst” (you are what you’re eating) characterises an identity-generating component of food that can be very well assigned to jewellery too. In terms of a trophy the wearer overtakes the qualities of the slaid [sic] animal and blazons himself with the heroic hunting story.

Anyway, the whole thing’s available for purchase if you want to remind people that you eat bacon and/or hunt pigs. Which is great, because the gift-giving season is well upon us.

Also worth knowing: the name of the scarf, Fou Lard, is a play on words. It comes from the French word for silk (foulard), which is made up from the words fou (crazy) and lard (fat). The foulard fou lard, or the silk crazy fat. Because…you know. Bacon.

We see what you did there, Natalie.

via Laughing Squid

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Tootsie Roll Scarf

Hot cocoa won’t be the only chocolatey thing keeping you warm this winter.  This Tootsie Roll scarf will wrap your neck in the same design that is printed on the wrappers of the chewy, chocolate-flavored candy.  The scarf is acrylic, and measures about 74 inches long. ($28 @ FredFlare)