Categories
Fast Food

Quiznos Offers New Bourbon Steak Sub

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For the company that brought us those mutant “spongmonkeys” back in the early 2000s, you’d think Quiznos would have a lot more booze on its menu. The latest – a Bourbon Steak Sub – seeks to remedy this tragic deficiency. Featuring Black Angus steak (which, by the way, is just a kind of cow, not necessarily a marker of quality), along with mozzarella, bacon, fried onions and a bourbon sauce, the BSS is what happens when meat companies realize the marriage between liquor and protein is not only inevitable, it’s f*cking delicious.

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As with any sub, you can get the Bourbon Steak on your choice of White, Wheat, Rosemary Parmesan or Jalapeno Cheddar bread. You can also find a dollar off coupon on Quiznos’ Facebook. This, of course, is all assuming you’re able to actually find a Quiznos. If the comments on the chain’s Facebook page are any indication, everyone’s local franchise has been disappearing over the years, probably thanks to all the franchisees suing corporate for charging them too much for supplies – and leaving all us would-be eaters sadly bourbon steak-less.

What say we just smooth everything over with a bottle and plate of bourbon, hm?

Quiznos’ new Bourbon Steak Sub is now available for a limited time at all participating Quiznos locations.

PicThx Quiznos

Categories
Packaged Food

These BBQ Sauces Come in ‘Cola Leather’ and ‘Tobacco Moonshine’ Flavors

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We love us some good sauces like ooey gooey marshmallow or deliciously Creamy Sriracha Sauce. You know, the kind that satisfy our offbeat cravings. But never before have we come across a topping that fulfills our desire for rootbeer and pickles or Cola and leather. That is, until now.

Todd’s Concoctions was created so people could “taste the redneck rainbow,” and thus sauce flavors like Cola Leather BBQ and Tobacco Moonshine BBQ were born. If those flavors aren’t novelty enough for ya, the line also features Marshmallow Smoke Ketchup, Chewing Gum Tobacco Ketchup, Squid Ink Cayenne Hot Sauce and Rootbeer Pickle Hot Relish.

Todds Concoctions

Honestly, when’s the next time you’ll be able to flavor that burger with a dash of chewing gum tobacco essences? Our guess would be never, so we suggest to get your hands on these sauces while you can.

Todd’s Concoctions, $14.19 @Firebox

H/T The Awesomer + Picthx Firebox

Categories
Opinion

Oh Is That How You Use Them? New KFC Chicken Dip’ems + Other Branded Dippables

Or: “So Apparently We’ve Been Eating Chicken Tenders All Wrong”

Fast food is confusing. Between the million different restaurants and the million different menu items and the million and one wrong ways to use a ketchup cup, sometimes it’d be nice if someone would just take our hands and walk us through the eating process, lest we wind up trying to suck barbecue sauce up our butts.

Luckily KFC (and Rally’s and to an extent Popeye’s) have recently taken it upon themselves to do just that with new “dippable”-branded chicken nuggets and tenders — I can finally see the light!

Now, the problem here isn’t so much the products themselves — chicken nuggets are awesome; dipping sauces are, likewise, awesome. The problem is that all three of these brands have chosen to market new products which explicitly spell out the relationship between the nuggets and their sauces (as if we didn’t already know), and they did it all within a year (in most cases, even months) of one another.

And to add insult to injury, KFC’s new Dip’ems (much like their new Chicken Littles) are in many ways just a rebranding of one of their old menu staples, the Colonel’s Crispy Strips (which, in case you didn’t know, can also be “dipped…in one of [KFC’s] flavorful sauces,” according to the company’s website).

Here’s an idea for any would-be dipping-branding hopefuls: do us a favor, do what McDonald’s did and just market the awesome new sauces we know you have. Because seriously, NEW Creamy Buffalo, NEW Orange Ginger and NEW Bacon Ranch sound incredible. I just prefer to have my chicken pandering-instructions-free.

[Via GrubGrade]

Categories
Products

Sriracha Water Bottle, the Hottest Thing to Ever Cool You Down

A lot of food lovers have close friends and relatives who worry about the amount of Huy Fong’s Sriracha Hot Chili Sauce they consume on a daily basis. If you’re one of those foodies, you can freak them out even more with this Sriracha water bottle.

At least at first glance, people at the gym, or on the bike trail will give you a “WTF” look and want to pray for your health.

This is perfect for those who have Sriracha in their blood, or just felt that Sprayracha wasn’t enough.

It looks like a water bottle, but has all the essential trademarks of the Sriracha bottle. The familiar print with the little white cock in the front, the green top and even the nutritional facts adorn the saucy gym commodity.

It has already proved to be a hot item as the guys over at Gage+DeSoto, the Brooklyn bike shop that created the bottle, sold out within days of the bottles circulating Pinterest and Reddit.

If you know you need more cock sauce in your life, be ready for their September restock. If it sells the way it did on its initial release, prepare to step your game up. Bookmark the site, meditate, or eat Sriracha until you’ve become one with the sauce and can sense the second it goes for sale.

[Thx Gage+DeSoto and OC Weekly]

Categories
Products

Awesome Sauce

How to make your food more awesome in a few short, simple steps:

Step 1: Add Awesome Sauce

Simple, right? Turn any ordinary dish into something completely awesome with Awesome Sauce Hot Sauce. This king of condiments adds a heavy-hitting heat alongside a hint of garlic to make your dishes exude an excellence that can only be accomplished by bringing out its inner awesome. That being said, $10 is a small price to pay for such awesomeness manifested in sauce form.

(via ThinkGeek)

Categories
Products

Condiment Dispenser Gun

 

You won’t have to wait for the ketchup to slowly pour out of the bottle anymore – with this Condiment Gun you can shoot that sauce onto your burger immediately.  Liven up your next barbecue, and gear up for a food fight! ($26.00 @ Plasticland)


 

Categories
Sweets

Tropical Kiwi Strawberry Spring Rolls

Getting tired of those crazy desserts filled with peanut butter, chocolate, and bacon? Let’s cut to something with a bit more of a refreshing aura to it. These Tropical Kiwi Strawberry Spring Rolls taste great, and look even better! A combination of chopped strawberries, yellow bananas, green kiwi, mango matchsticks and fresh mint all rolled up in a white blanket of rice paper!

As if this dessert wasn’t jungle enough, you get to dip the rolls into a Vanilla Lime Honey Dipping Sauce! (Recipe @ HowSweatItIs)

Categories
Hit-Or-Miss

Godzilla Burrito

This Godzilla Burrito looks like it could feed an army! Jalapeño, cheese, tomatoes, cilantro, olives, sauce, and sour cream all contribute to the two and half pounds that this burrito weights in at! I think I can eat this by myself, can you?  (Thx TIWYH)