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Hit-Or-Miss

The Terrifying Tale Of Danny, The Guy Who Ate Spaghetti While Driving

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Yes, we’ve heard all the cautionary tales that come with eating and driving. There’s something about crushing a beautiful sandwich during a long commute that’s just so perfect. Unfortunately, it’s also incredibly dangerous.

Danny, AKA @tidy316, posted a photo on his Twitter page that serves as a hilarious and horrifying cautionary tale for those who enjoy eating and driving.

We see a totaled car sitting on the side of the road in one photo. In the next, we see the roof is splattered with a dark red spaghetti sauce as well as noodles.

It’s almost exactly the cereal situation in It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia. Wonder who ending up having to pay? Still, it definitely makes us second guess our next stop through the drive-thru.

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Fast Food

McDonald’s Shows Us How To Make Big Mac Sauce At Home

While most people know McDonald’s Big Mac Sauce is pretty much thousand island dressing with a few tweeks, it’s still considered to be the burger chain’s best kept secret. Hell, someone even paid nearly $100,000 just for a single bottle.

Before you start spending your hard-earned cash on a bottle of essentially mustard and mayo, take a look at this video from 2012. Dan Coudreaut, the Executive Chef and Vice President of Culinary Innovation for McDonald’s shows us how to make a Big Mac that’s as close as you can get to the real thing.

Sauce included.

All you need is some mayo, mustard and relish with some spices and seasonings. While Chef Dan doesn’t really go into the exact measurements, you can definitely eyeball it enough to nail the recipe.

Should cost us less than five bucks.

 

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How To Make A Red Curry Pork Belly Corn Dog

The corn dog can be a tricky dish to master. Sometimes, you get lucky and find yourself holding the crispiest, most delicious piece of deep fried heaven on Earth. And other times, you’ll wind up with soggy, 99-cent mystery-meat on a stick from a lackluster carnival. There’s no in-between.

Case in point: Keith Prante’s mouth-watering recipe for Red Curry Pork Belly Corn Dog. Dipped and deep fried in a bomb all-natural Red Curry Sauce from World Foods (you can find their sauces near you here), it is superb to say the least and is definitely going to be setting a new standard for breaded meats everywhere.

With that cured-and-curried pork belly on the inside and sweet, golden-brown breading on the outside, this bad boy will take your tastebuds on a carnival ride of their own. Trust us—the proof is in the pork.

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Photo by Pete Pham

INGREDIENTS

6 oz Pork Belly

1 jar of World Foods Red Curry Sauce (available at Sprouts and Whole Foods)

8 oz Coconut milk

2 oz chopped cilantro

1 cup pancake mix

½ cup cornmeal

1 egg

1 cup milk

2 qts frying oil

1 corn dog stick

Pinch of salt

Pinch of baking soda

Curing Recipe

2 1⁄2 tbsp kosher salt

1 1⁄2 tbsp sugar

1 tbsp black peppercorns

1 tsp fennel seed

1 tsp caraway seed

1 tsp dried rosemary

1 tsp dried thyme

2 bay leaves

1 clove garlic, finely chopped

1) Cut pork belly into a 1”x4”x1” wiener and cure overnight (see above recipe).

2) Fry cured pork belly in hot oil (375F) until very crispy. Place “Corn Dog” stick into pork belly length-wise, and dip into Red Curry sauce. Let pork fully cool.

3) Once cooled, dip the curried pork belly into thick batter and fry. When frying, hold the corn dog in oil briefly to avoid batter sticking to bottom of fryer. Cook until golden brown.

4) Remove from oil and let cool. CAUTION: food will be very hot.

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#foodbeast FOODBEAST Products Recipes SPONSORED

How To Turn Green Curry Carnitas Tamales Into A Pie

If you’re familiar with tamales—and we sincerely hope you are—you know that traditionally, they’re usually prepared around the holidays or for celebrating a special occasion (though we’ll gladly accept a tamale anytime, any place). What you may not be familiar with is the tamale pie.

A tamale pie has the flavorful power of a thousand regular tamales, give or take. And when you’ve got the power of a Green Curry Carnitas Tamale Pie in your hands—you’re basically a god. We’re giving you the gift of almost-immortality with this heavenly recipe for Green Curry Carnitas Tamale Pie, devised by Chef Keith Prante.

The key ingredient that really makes the dish out-of-this-world is a rich, all-natural Thai Green Curry cooking sauce from World Foods (you can find this and/or more of their sauces here).

Be careful who you share it with, though. You don’t want this kind of power getting into the wrong hands—aka, any hands other than your own!

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Photo by Pete Pham

INGREDIENTS

3 lbs Pork Butt

2 qts Dr. Pepper soda

1 onion

1 carrot

1 celery stalk

1 bay leaf

3 tbsp curry powder

2 cups cotija cheese

2 bottles of World Foods Thai Green Curry Cooking Sauce (available at Sprouts and Whole Foods)

Banana leaves

Salt and pepper

Basic Masa Dough (yield: 7 cups)

4½ cups masa harina, such as Maseca

3¾ cups cold water

1½ cups cold lard or vegetable shortening

1 tbsp kosher salt

SUPPLIES

Saran wrap

Aluminum foil

Roasting pan

Deep dish baking pan (9”x13”)

Shallow cooking sheet

Part I – Prepping the Carnitas

1) Sear well-seasoned Pork Butt in hot sauté pan until golden brown on all sides. Add in deep roasting pan with soda, veggies, and spices.

2) Place saran wrap and foil over pan and cook at 275F for 8 hours. After it is cooked remove from liquid and shred either with 2 forks or in a large table mixer with paddle attachment.

3) When fully shredded add curry sauce and stir until fully incorporated. Set in fridge until cooled.

Part II – Prepping the Masa

1) Combine masa harina and water in a large bowl and mix with your hands until ingredients are evenly incorporated and dough is moist throughout; set aside.

2) Combine lard or shortening and salt in the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with a paddle attachment and beat on high speed until shiny and white in color, about 2 minutes.

3) Reduce speed to medium high and add dough in handfuls, letting it mix in before adding more, until all the dough has been added, about 2 minutes. Continue beating until ingredients are well combined and a smooth, soft dough has formed, about 1 minute more. Cover and refrigerate at least 1 hour or up to 2 days before using.

Part III – Cooking the Pie

1) Preheat oven to 315F. Cover the bottom of the baking pan with banana leaves and add half the masa putting it on the walls of the pan.

2) Add cooled pork and spread evenly across the pan. Use the rest of the masa to cover the pork then cover the masa with remaining banana leaves.

3) Place 9”x13” pan on baking sheet and place water in baking sheet. Cover with saran wrap and foil for 20 minutes.

4) Remove leaves cover in cheese and let rest for 5 minutes and serve.

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#foodbeast

What Your Choice Of Wing Sauce Reveals About You

Foodbeast

For some of us, the choosing of a wing sauce can be an agonizing process. For others, it’s as simple as stating a known, trustworthy preference. But no matter which category you fall into, your final selection basically tells your company everything they need to know about you as a human being – provided they have a proper understanding of sauce psychology, or that they’ve read my article. At any rate, here’s a quick guide to what those around you can learn about your character, according to each wing sauce you might choose.

Actually, You’ll Just Order The Burger – Go home. We’re here for wings and you’re not being a team player. You are cranky, unimaginative, dull, and soulless, and frankly I’m starting to feel good about the fact that not a drop of wing sauce will be wasted on your worthless pallet.

Mild – You’re agreeable enough, but ultimately you may be boring your friends due to your risk-averse, go-with-the-flow mentality. You’re the furthest thing from a natural leader, and unfortunately that probably gets you stuck doing things you don’t really want to do a lot of the time. Yup – you’re the one who does 80% of the work in the group project without calling anyone else out for being lazy. It was nice of you to come along, but we’re starting to get the feeling you’re just in it for the celery and carrot sticks. You probably don’t know who’s playing in the game we’re here to watch either.

Hot – Good for you. You know what you’re doing here, and you have enough experience to understand that the Habanero Madness option is just going to ruin your evening. You’re just the right mix of fun, bold, and exciting without being obnoxious to be around, and for that reason the people around you will probably always crave, or at least enjoy, your company. We’re going to get along.

Habanero Madness – This is a tricky one. If you order this because you have an unusually high tolerance for tongue-bursting spice, and you genuinely enjoy the extra kick, that’s fine – if you just order and eat. In that case, odds are you’re a little strange on the outside but a fascinating person for those who take the time to get to know you. On the other hand, if you sit at your end of the table saying the word “habanero” 47 times throughout the meal, and throw in a couple of “holy shit that’s hot!” exclamations, you’re a douchebag. Wing sauce reveals character in a subtle, quiet manner, but no one gives a fuck that you enjoy bathing your tongue in lava. And from now on, everything you say will seem like an exaggeration. We can’t wait to get away from you, and then talk shit about you.

Teriyaki – You’re the lovable goof of the group. Teriyaki wings are the ultimate “oops” order. You’ll love it for 1-3 wings’ worth, and then you’ll realize it’s all a little too sweet for dinner, and that no one restaurant’s teriyaki wings are better than another’s. But oh, well. You can shrug it off and do better next time.

Spicy Garlic – Well played, sir or lady. You’ve discovered that wings can be both spicy and flavored.  And, shock of all shocks, that’s who you are as a person. You do everything well, but also with your own special touch. You’re confident, effortlessly charming, and socially versatile. And you have a better feel than most for what you actually like.

Some Kind Of Caribbean Jerk Option – I mean, okay. If that’s what you want. You can’t really be judged because no one else at the table ordered this, and no one understands the psychology behind it. But if we had to venture a guess, you’re probably a little offbeat. You might be a little bit of a loner (the confident kind, though), and it’s a good bet you’re one of those people who manages to travel to South America 17 times a year despite not having a job yet out of college. Am I close? Can I… can I try one of those?

So there you have it. An indisputable, factually correct psych evaluation of wing sauce choice’s reflection on personal character.

Or at least, how I felt after my last trip to Buffalo Wild Wings.

This article was originally posted on theAlphaBrain. Pay them a visit and get all the latest on Life, Beer, Sports, Women, Food and More. 

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Video

Pizza Hut Has A GOLD-Crusted Pizza And Here’s How To Get It [KATCHUP]

In this corner, still the current champion of weekly story compilations, weighing in at 6 awesome stories…ladies and gentlemen, I give to you…the Foodbeast Weekly Katchup!

You may have missed out on all the shenanigans we’ve gotten into this past week, but fear not, for now is your chance at redemption!

Check out the video above find out where to get Big Mac sauce, the most expensive picture of a potato we’ve ever seen, and…gold-encrusted pizza?! WTF?!

1. McDonald’s Big Mac Sauce For Sale

Well it’s about damn time, McDonald’s! The uber-popular fast food chain has finally started selling their Big Mac sauce by the bottle.

Unfortunately, this is a limited-time offer, and it’s only available in Australia. Still, I’m sure we can convince our friends down under to save a couple of bottles for us.

2. The Golden Donut

This $100 work of edible art is made by hand, then it’s topped with stuffed with purple ube mousse and Cristal jelly. Finally, it’s covered in enough gold to make Goldmember’s skin start spontaneously flaking.

And yes, that Cristal. The same one you would find in music videos being poured down supermodels’ throats by any number of 1998’s most popular rappers.

3. $1.5 Million Dollar Potato Photograph

I don’t know which is worse, the fact that somebody paid that much for a picture of a potato, or the fact that apparently I could have been selling sexy potato pictures for buttloads of cash this whole time.

With that in mind, there is something to be said about my overwhelming desire for fries and hash browns right now…

4. Crazy Kitty Coffee Art

Elena is just like you and me, only when she spills coffee on her paperwork, she puts out some insanely dope stuff.

Not only did she manage to capture the essence of each cat in her artwork, but she also painted them in such a surrealist way that, if you think about it, the photographs of the art are art themselves.

Go ahead let that sink in while I start splashing Dr. Pepper on construction paper until one of the stains makes a German shepherd.

5. The Chicken Nugget Heist of 2016

Surely we’ve all dreamed of that one moment in a parallel universe where we stand up at our desks, throw shit at our obnoxious coworkers, then leave a big pile of steaming shit on our boss’s desk. No? Just me? Oh.

Well, one lucky guy got to live out the dream of his parallel universe. On his way out on his last day working for Burger King, John Correa made sure to leave a lasting impression by stealing all of the branch’s chicken nuggets. One thing we know for sure he didn’t leave…is hungry.

6. The Golden Pizza

Pizza Hut is in the news again, only this time it’s for something other than their drug-dealing employees.

Exactly 50 gold-encrusted pizzas will be sent out on Super Bowl Sunday to 50 lucky customers. *The catch, though, is that you have to order one of Pizza Hut’s Golden Garlic Knots Pizzas.

*Note: You will not receive an Oompa Loompa-guided tour of the Pizza Hut factory if you win, despite what you may have heard about a marinara river that runs through the factory.

Categories
Fast Food

McDonald’s Big Mac Sauce Is Finally Being Sold By The Bottle

Mac-Sauce-Sale

We can’t explain it, but there’s just something about McDonald’s Mac Sauce that we can’t get enough of. Yeah, we know it’s more or less thousand island dressing. Yet the way Mcdonald’s makes it keeps us coming back for more Big Macs. Imagine our envy when we hear that McDonald’s Australia is selling the sauce by the bottle.

In a limited run, the fast food chain is selling 4,000 bottles for $4.95 each. The bottles will be available at 40 participating restaurants in Australia, Brand Eating reports.

For five bucks and a 500ml bottle, we’d never have to be ask for extra Mac Sauce again. The delicious foods we could sauce would be endless. Like chocolate chip cookies.

Don’t judge us.

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Hit-Or-Miss

Watch How Tabasco Sauce Is Made

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Tabasco sauce rules. We like to keep a bottle stashed in case our hash browns ever need some extra spice or burgers need some extra heat. Have you ever wondered how the sauce was made?

Discovery Channel’s How It’s Made took a quick look at the origins of the famous pepper sauce. Watch the journey a single pepper goes through to finally become a part of that iconic bottle we keep in our glove compartment.