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Hit-Or-Miss

Satirical Coffee Ad Is SAVAGE AF

I can’t lie, I wake up every morning and look forward to my cup of coffee. I even ground my own beans and brew individual cups with a reusable knock-off K-Cup thing. I sip my freshly brewed coffee with pride and look forward to the morning ritual.

It’s all because I’m an addict—a coffee addict, and thanks to this brutally honest video from Cracked.com, I’m now aware of my problems and will seek the help of my friends and family for help and guidance. Take a look for yourself, are you an addict too?

Even though I’m slightly joking about seeking help, caffeine is pretty addicting.

While I’m not going to steal, cheat and lie for my next grande Pike at Starbucks, it’s safe to say coffee drinkers aren’t shy about their habit — I just typed grande Pike without hesitation — but if you’re buying the next round, I’m coming.

I drink way too much coffee.

So, the next time you consider drinking a nice, warm cup of Joe in the morning, remember this video and say to yourself, “At least it’s not heroin.”

Enjoy!

Categories
Humor

Subway Addresses $5 Footlong Controversy in this Hilariously Fake Onion Report

Onion-Subway-Footlong

Turns out anyone trying to get healthy off Subway sandwiches was doing it wrong this entire time. The Onion fictitiously reports that Subway executives meant for the popular $5 footlong special to be split among two people. In fact, they’re in downright disbelief that anyone can tackle a footlong sub all on their own. Who does that, right?

The sandwich chain states that they’re “deeply sorry” if customers were led to believe eating an entire 12-inch sandwich was healthy for them. It was never meant to. In response to angry patrons, Subway modified their marketing strategy, clearing up any misconceptions that a footlong was meant for a single person in one sitting.

Check out the hilarious piece of satire below and you’ll never eat a $5 footlong again. No, you probably will.

Categories
Hit-Or-Miss

What Your Coffee Order Says About You

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Coffee drinkers really like to tell you what do you and what life’s about. As evidenced here and here. Now, in a comic collection of your “average” coffee consumer, The Multiple Personalities of Coffee guide helps you distinguish the “Addict” from the “Snob”.

Apparently, whether you like to sneak in a little Kahlua in your morning cup of Joe or have a penchant for instant coffee, what you drink can be quite telling. So, prepare yourself for amusingly nonsensical associations such as business men (and women) always reach for the red eye (because business trips) and Americanos (for political reasons). It’s all in good fun but hey, who knows, you might unearth your deepest, darkest secrets within this chart. You ex-tea drinker, you.

Click to enlarge

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Picthx Loku

Categories
Humor

A Realistic Look at the Time You Spend Juicing [HUMOR]

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It’s hard to knock the benefits of juicing.

You feel better, it tastes good, and there are books full of health benefits on the matter. But seriously, whoever gets stuck on cleanup duty may never want to juice again. By the time you’ve done your shopping, chopping, juicing, and cleaning to whittle down to a glass of drinkable liquid, you’ve spent more of your day than you’d care to account for.

At the very least, this graphic put together by data visualization firm Column Five makes me feel a little less terrible about dropping $8 on a freshly squeezed spicy kale lemonade at the local juice spot.

H/T ColumnFiveMedia