Categories
Hit-Or-Miss

Meet Alberto, The Stereotypically Hilarious Terrible Italian Waiter

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We’ve all had our moments in Italian restaurants — curious about the menu, a whimsical Italian waiter finding every magical adjective to explain a dish he may or may not have ever tasted. That’s “Alberto,” played by Vine star Rudy Mancuso, waiting on a gorgeous couple played out by Melanie Iglesias and Ray Diaz.

Welcome to Alberto’s, where everything is fresh, all the dishes are Alberto’s favorite, and of course, he has nothing you actually want:

Categories
Humor Video

This Is How We Learned What An ‘Abortion Shot’ Was

I recently attended my cousin’s 21st birthday, and this little asshole casserole was being fed froofy ass shots like a Buttery Nipple and a Redheaded Slut, and he was loving it. I stepped in to rock that little slut’s face off with some manly man shots, and that’s when I realized that the only two shitty shots I knew were the Gorilla Fart and the Four Horsemen. Right in that moment is when I decided to travel from bar to bar, trying to learn what exactly were…

The Worst Shots Ever

At this point in the day, Hayley and I are already five shots and a couple of beers deep. We make our way over to Rudy’s Pub & Grill to keep the dream alive, and continue seeking out the worst shot of all time. So far we’ve found some pretty horrible shots, but this next shot might actually take the cake, considering it’s called the “Abortion Shot.”

Jen, our lively and enthusiastic bartender, made sure to make our lives hell to the greatest extent of her ability. She knew three horrible shots, so the Abortion Shot was the first of the trio. Although it only tasted marginally awful, the texture in my mouth combined with my pondering the name was enough to bring me ridiculously close to puking.

Categories
Hit-Or-Miss

We Went to a Bar Made Entirely of Ice in the Middle of the Desert. Then Stripped Down Naked

Last week, the Foodbeast crew was in Vegas and after a particularly grueling night out, someone suggested we check out Minus 5, a bar made entirely of 100% ice. Never ones to pass up a novel drinking opportunity, we dragged our hungover bodies from the hotel room to the Mandalay Bay casino where the mythical ice bar was apparently hidden.

After a few delays on the way — Rudy lost $200 in Blackjack and we made the obligatory margarita stop — we found the spot tucked away in the corner above a Starbucks. At the entrance we were greeted by a babe in a hooded sweater who helped us slip into mink coats. Before walking into the actual bar, we were reminded that it’s a solid -5 °F inside. So, in order to prevent our bodies from going into shock, we stepped through a series of rooms that gradually got colder as we neared the ice bar.

When we finally reached the spot, we saw that it houses everything a traditional bar has — chairs, sofas, tables, bar tops, cups, etc. — except that they’re all made of frozen water.

Here’s a walk-through:

Coat Room: You’ll get swagged out in mink straight off the set of Game of Thrones.

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As soon as you walk in, you’ll be greeted by this monster:

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The chandeliers are made of ice:

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So are the sofas and chairs…

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… even the actual bar-top is made entirely of ice. Remember, this place is made from 80 TONS of FROZEN WATER.

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The cups are 100% made of ice. Protip: Do not babysit your alcohol. If your drink sits in the glasses for too long, they

will melt.

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If you’re really nice they’ll let you play shotskis.

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By the end of it, Rudy convinced us to take our clothes off because reasons. Check out the video to discover what “penguining” really is:

Categories
Adventures

ADVENTURE: Catalina Fish Kitchen (Costa Mesa, CA)

In our continuous effort to explore the city we work in, Geoff brought up that he had caught a conspicuous sign for a seafood spot within walking distance of our office. Hungry for lunch, we took to the street and headed over to the Catalina Fish Kitchen for a late lunch. We didn’t know what to expect, seeing an island vibe pouring out of an industrial office buildout can be quite off-putting.

The place was packed, littered with hipster runoff, local members of the business community and firemen — we took that as a sign the food was good, so we got in line and ordered up.

For starters, I went in on some Red Chowder, and Rudy jumped on some Spicy Vegetable Gumbo:

Pictured above is an order of Noserider Nachos, a sloppy concoction of tortilla chips, Cheddar Jack Cheese, black beans, diced tomatoes, guacamole and sour cream.

A shot of Geoff’s Kona Bowl (above) and Rudy’s Ahi Kona Bowl (below):

I opted for a taste of the Bay Shrimp Kona Bowl:

With a salsa bar that would make whole-in-the-wall Mexican joints envious, a fun interior masked by an off-the-beaten-path location and a reasonable price point for the amount and quality of food, Catalina Fish Kitchen is a spot you have to check out:

 

Catalina Fish Kitchen

670 W 17th St
Ste G8
Costa Mesa, CA 92627

Categories
Adventures Features

Recession Session (2): $5 Subway at the Studio

In our second installment of Recession Session, we’ve combined it with an Adventure as we re-visit the now staple “5 Dollar Footlongs” at Subway. To preface this endeavor, every couple of weeks me and Marc make an effort to check in with our friend Rudy at his work place (a local Orange County recording studio) to make sure the work-level is high, the drug-usage is at a reasonable minimum and their eating is proper. Of course we decided to eat fresh, and Rudy decided he would be the savior and document the adventure on his iPhone, so don’t mind the haphazard photography…just enjoy the eats!