Categories
Hit-Or-Miss

Japan’s Odd New Sushi Dating Simulator, for Folks Who *Really* Love Fish

sushi

With all its nuance and artistry, it’s no wonder so many people love sushi. From silky salmon to fatty tuna to California and Caterpillar rolls, there’s really something for everyone. Now, thanks to a new Japanese dating app, you and all your maki-loving friends can take your adoration to its only logical conclusion: dating anthropomorphized seafood. Sugoi!

Released May 28, “Here You Go! One Order of Romance,” follows the story of one Japanese sushi chef’s daughter, who is left to run the family restaurant when her father accepts a job overseas. One night after his departure, who should show up to help the poor girl than the sushi itself, brought to life in the form of six human boys, who, incidentally, all want to get in her pants?

Like any Japanese dating sim, each character has a distinct personality. There’s the “hot-blooded Yu Guromatsu (tuna), easygoing Kei Sukegawa (salmon), his shy little brother Iku (salmon roe), and somewhat childish Tamaki Marui (egg),” according to Rocket News. Shrimp and Avocado to come in later updates.

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The free game can currently be downloaded for Apple or Android under the name “Love! Sushi Rangers!”. Full disclosure: one of our writers may or may not have just downloaded this app to her phone. For research purposes, of course.

H/T Rocket News

Categories
Products

This Portable ‘Beer Server’ Insta-Cools Your Brew

beer

This is the Premium Beer Server GOKUREI, a kind of portable cooler machine that can chill a can of beer to 40 Fahrenheit in under 4 minutes.

Made by Japanese toy manufacturer Takara Tomy, the Gokurei comes with a cooling chamber and mixing faucet and works similarly to a water cooler. You just add ice and water to the chamber (plus salt, if you prefer your beer below freezing), set the machine to “cool,” and proceed to knock back a few refreshing shandies in probably less time than you’d spend asking your bro why you can’t open that damn twist-top. If you’re in Japan, keep an eye out for it on May 22, when it hits shelves at a price of 7,800 yen (US$77).

And, because the Japanese just love their bubbles, the Gokurei also features a high-speed internal whipping blade, so you can adjust the level of beer foam to your heart’s desire. Take that, Igloo.

H/T Rocket News

Categories
Humor

Sounds Reasonable: Japanese Cafe Sometimes Closed Due to ‘Hangovers,’ ‘Witch Attacks,’ and ‘Feeling Kind of Sad Today’

hangover1

Ask anyone for a single reason they didn’t want to come to work today, and you’ll probably end up with a list of at least ten or twelve. But it’s a rare employer who’ll actually grant you a day off simply because you were “feeling kind of sad.”

To the folks at the Ajiyoshi cafe in Tsukuba, Japan, however, being down in the dumps is a totally legitimate reason to play hooky. As is “the summer heat being […] too much to take,” “eating too many grilled chicken skewers,” and “magic attack-related back pain.”

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According to Japanese news site Rocket News, the notoriously easy-going, mom-n-pop cafe Ajiyoshi has been known to close its doors on a whim frequently throughout the years, but always with good reason, as proven by the chalkboard sign outside or the restaurant’s Twitter feed.

Some of our favorites include:

“We’re feeling kind of sad today. So, we’re closed.”

“We totally screwed up cooking one of our side dishes. So, we’re closed.”

“A witch attacked us out of the blue. We’re in bed with magic attack-related back pain.”

“Hungover. Try again tomorrow.”

“We ate too many grilled chicken skewers yesterday. Sorry, we’re gonna have to take the day off.”

Can you say dream job?

PicThx Rocket News

Categories
Hit-Or-Miss

‘Garlic’ Black Beer Tastes Like a Bottle of Dumplings

garlicbeer

Beer and Japanese food go together like, well, beer and Japanese food. But if you’re fiending for something beyond the old Kirin-Asahi-Sapporo, maybe you should consider giving this “garlic beer” a shot.

Our favorite Japanese bloggers Rocket News picked up a bottle of Aomori Garlic Black Beer for testing (and presumably not vampire-fighting) purposes a few days ago. The Aomomi Prefecture is known for its garlic production and the drink gets its flavor from extracts of their renowned fermented black version. As for the beer itself? Tastes “just like regular beer” apparently — until the great, “mighty cloud” of raw garlic flavor rises up and punches you (and all your dinner-mates) right in the uvula.

Knock back with a bowl of rice and Smell-o-Vision smartphone meat for a delicious, if mildly under-nourishing and stinky, meal. Yum.

H/T Rocket News

Categories
Hit-Or-Miss

This Whole Fish Hot Dog Looks Creepy, Will Probably Make You Feel Bad For Eating It

fish1

It’s a dated reference, but I really don’t know what I expected when I first saw the headline for a “salted fish hot dog.” Maybe a hot dog with fish flakes on it? A hot dog shaped like a fish? One stuffed with fish and chips? At least, that was where my silly western-headed mind first went, until I realized this thing was coming from Japan.

According to Rocket News, the Kyoto Aquarium is currently offering an “ayu salt-cooked hot dog,” which is less “dog” and more “whole skewered grilled fish sandwiched inside a regular hot dog bun with its head still intact.” Anyone who’s eaten at a Korean tofu house knows such dishes are fairly popular throughout Asia, though RN reports several Japanese still discard the heads and bones rather than eat the fish from head to tail. (Thereby avoiding the nasty feeling of open fish eyes wriggling away in their insides.)

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My suggestion? Buy one, stick it in an explicitly labeled bag in the fridge, wait for a roommate or coworker to find it and bask in the inevitable Michael Bluth moment. Proceed to enjoy the highlight of your weekend, you’re welcome.

H/T Neatorama + PicThx Rocket News

Categories
Hit-Or-Miss

So Feces Wine is a Real Thing and According to This Japanese Girl Group, It Tastes ‘Delicious’

Inside: poop, pretty girls and booze. Shh, just come.

A couple months ago, Japanese news site Rocket News 24 got their hands on some bottles of tsongsul, a traditional Korean “feces wine,” made by soaking chicken, dog or human feces in soju alcohol until the mixture ferments – by no means a popular drink, but nevertheless rumored to cure illness and heal bone fractures.

While the site did manage to get a few, ahem, shits and giggles out of the whole thing, it turned out that after the initial smell and taste test, no one in the office actually wanted to drink the stuff. So Rocket did the only thing it could: found a Japanese all-girl air-band and tricked them into drinking it.

They told the girls they’d be trying a new Korean herbal wine. This was some of their early feedback:

“Yum! I don’t like shochu but I can drink this! That’s impressive, you know! It has a refined and elegant taste similar to that of wine. The color is also pleasant, similar to that charming translucency of rosé. This is sure to be popular with young women!”

“It tastes like those old Japanese candies they used to sell at supermarkets! This is delicious! What’s this sweetness, I wonder… It’s like Yomeishu (a traditional Japanese herbal liqueur), but with a different kind of sweetness. This would be great for girls who like sweet alcoholic beverages. I’d drink this again!”

“Oh, wow! When I heard this was medicinal herb wine I thought it would taste strong, but I was completely off the mark. This is really good, and easy to drink. I think this could be a hit with girls.”

Of course, after the truth was divulged, the girls completely changed their imaginary-instrument-playing tunes and insisted the drink tasted like poop, but with such a drastic turn, it would seem the only way to know the true taste of tsongsul would be to try it for yourself.

Or you could, you know, do almost anything else and not seem so absolutely disgusting.

H/T and PicThx Rocket News 24