Categories
Fast Food

Starbucks Is Tired Of People Watching Porn On Their WiFi

Starbucks-Ext-Stk-SA

Last week, McDonald’s cracked down on customers using their WiFi to download and watch pornography. Porn’s a big “no no” when it comes to the family-friendly burger chain. Well, another popular chain, known for free WiFi, will also implement a porn block.

Starbucks has announced that they’ll no longer allow their customers to stream pornography through their network.

The coffee company intends to place filters on their Internet service to prevent customers from watching adult entertainment. Groups Enough is Enough and the National Center on Sexual Exploitation asked the restaurant chain to block the content for fear of kids trying to get on.

Starbucks agreed, once they figure out a way to implement the filters without hindering the customers’ WiFi experience.

Donna Hughes, president of Enough Is Enough, calls Internet pornography a public health crisis. She also mentions news reports of public WiFi spots being used in trafficking child pornography thanks to the anonymity of open WiFi.

Categories
Hit-Or-Miss Humor

Pornstar Pulls Hysterical Prank On Unsuspecting Pizza Guy [WATCH]

Every guy with access to a computer has likely seen a “pizza delivery boy” scenario that involves a naive pizza delivery guy with a huge penis delivering a sausage pizza to a sultry, buxom woman, who was apparently planning on eating an entire pizza all by herself.

One dreamer in particular thought he was walking into the best situation known to man when famed Asian pornography star London Keys was the one who answered the door and beckoned him to come inside (of the apartment, you perverts).

The gentleman delivering the pizza keeps a steady look of disbelief planted on his face the entire time, although his confusion is rivaled only by his tepid enthusiasm to get the show on the road. Of course, things take an even funnier turn for the worse when a surprise guest stops by for a visit.

What would you do?

 

 

Source: Tattoo Girlsss

Categories
Cravings

Game of Thrones ‘Kaleesi’ Burger Comes with Red Dragon Cheese and Dinosaur Kale

kaleesi

Fret not GoT fans, it’s not a typo. No, while the latest hijink by master food pornographer PornBurger is inspired by the Mother of Dragons, it also has a kale patty instead of meat. Thus, “kale-esi.”

Don’t let the lack of horse heart fool you though. Everything about this royal tribute is pretty and formidable, from the gruesome-looking beet gratin with red dragon cheese to the fiery berbere spice-rubbed patty made from dinosaur kale. Shiitake mushroom bacon, heirloom tomatoes, sumac aioli, and 12 grain seed buns top off the rest of the massive fan service, which almost makes you wonder how enormous a Khal Drogo burger would be.

“Call this smoldering dinosaur kale burger what you will,” writes Matthew Ramsey, PornBurger mastermind, “just don’t call it weak.”

Picthx PornBurger

Categories
Humor

In Case You Missed It: Porn Sex vs Real Sex, As Told by Food

porn-sex-food

WARNING: If you have just eaten, are eating now, or ever plan to eat again, you may want to put this reddit vid on hold. Particularly if your preferred food stuffs include, but are not limited to: guava, papaya, strawberries, apples, leafy greens, pancakes, Nutella, champagne, whipped cream, and, of course, bananas.

Also, gentlemen, you may want to skip seconds 0:08-0:12 altogether. You’ve been warned.

Anyway, now that all that unpleasantness is out of the way, onto the good stuff! Namely sex. But not porn sex. Because that is different from the real thing, as this short, uncomfortable (possible euphemism? Who knows?) video from KB Creative Lab tries to explain. Why they chose to use food, we’ll never know. All I know is that I’ll never again be able to enjoy a banana-Nutella sandwich ever again.

H/T Gawker

Categories
Hit-Or-Miss

This NYC Dive Bar Offers Patrons Free Midget Porn, Yay

doubledown

Have you ever wished you could enjoy a good beer, solid food and worry-free sexual gratification all at the same time? Let me introduce you to the Double Down – which is actually not some weird, kitchen-based sexual position. At least, not this time.

No, the Double Down Saloon, which has locations in both Vegas and NYC, calls itself a “straight up boozatorium” and is known for its $4 “Ass Juice,” bacon martinis and yes, the hours of kitschy porn looping across its several television screens.

Here are some of the NYC location’s best Yelp reviews:

“Porn.
Three Stooges.
Bad Horror Flicks.
More Porn.

Ass Juice.
Reasonably Priced Drinks.
Attentive Bartenders.
More Ass Juice.

Porn-Painted Walls.
Photo Booth.
Pool Table.
More Painted Walls

I think I’ve covered it.”

Helen L.

“The place is laid back and not too rowdy unfortunately, towards late in the evening, the guys pointed out the midget porn on the screen and I was like OMG! That was definitely not on my radar when I came in looking for more booze and french fries.”

Neline S.

“The porn was strong on the next visit. Full blow jobs, money shots, Grand Ma action, and hentai.”

Mike O.

“Liquor and midget porn, you my only friends.”

Peter D.

According to Gothamist, the East Village staple has been offering up the best in free porn for years and most people love it. Though we’ve got to wonder how much longer all those “straight-laced” after work folks can get away with the old “I had no idea this was that kinda place I swear!”

Honey, we won’t tell if you don’t.

H/T Gothamist + PictThx Double Down

Categories
Video

Porn Star Aria Giovanni Cooks Shrimp Scampi Linguini

This video is sloppily edited and directed, but to be honest, doesn’t porn succumb to the same issues? Despite these pitfalls, just like porn, we end up watching from opening frame to ending frame, staring not just at boiling water, oil being dripped into different pots and pans, but a large pair of…frying pans. Enjoy this video starring porn star Aria Giovanni as she shows the world how to cook Shrimp Scampi Linguini. Hehe, she said ling-uini.

Categories
News

Canada: Chooses Bacon Over Sex

We all know how much Canadians love their bacon, but maybe just a little too much? In a recent study conducted by Maple Leaf Foods, 43% of the respondents said they would rather eat bacon than have sex. Apparently the survey also found out that 82% (4 out of 5) of the people who said they love bacon also said they are good lovers. And about 25% (1 in 4) of the respondents have wondered if ‘my partner loves bacon more than me’. Now if only someone could create a bacon flavored lube..oh wait there is, check after the jump for the picture.