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Hit-Or-Miss

Man Finds the Farthest Spot from a McDonald’s in the Lower 48 States

farthest-spot-mcdonalds

Do you ever look up into the celestial dome at night and in a state of profound poetry think: I wonder how far you can travel from a McDonald’s? No? Ok, we weren’t meant to be friends anyway. Yes? Lucky you, Stephen Von Worley has figured out how far you can get to a McDonald’s in the lower 48 states.

Traveling to Northwest Nevada and 115 miles away from the closest McDonald’s, Worley trekked to “N 41.94389 W 119.54010” and enjoyed a nice picnic consisting of a McDonald’s hamburger and fries. Because what else would you do in the middle of nowhere? Enjoy nature’s sprawling beauty? Ha!

Check out the mini documentary capturing the moment:

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Products

Condiment Gun Fires Ketchup and Mustard on Unsuspecting Hot Dogs

Condiment Gun

Water gun wars are so yesterday. Food fights are where it’s at these days, and if you plan on participating in such a spat, it’s necessary to be prepared with the finest of defenses, like The Condiment Gun.

This pistol comes with two reusable cartridges that holds any of your favorite hamburger toppers, like BBQ sauce, ketchup, mustard or mayo. All you have to do is load a filled cartridge into the gun, pull the trigger and douse your food BA style.

Condiment Gun

The only catch here is the condiments can’t be chunky (ie: peanut butter and/or relish), because it’ll jam the pistol, which could be terrible/delicious if backfired.

The Condiment Gun, $14.99 @Think Geek

Picthx Think Geek

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Features

Celebrating Fourth of July: Expectations vs. Reality

smores

Independence Day in America is one of those rare holidays that doesn’t seem to exist just to make people buy things. Sure, you’ve got all the fireworks kiosks. And yes, they don’t just give away all that patriotic tablewear and those hot dogs and grilling utensils for free. But mostly it’s about eating well, sitting back and enjoying each other’s company. Except when it’s about burning in the summer sun. Or suffering from food poisoning. Or being too hungover to work because this stupid holiday just had to fall on a weekday.

Ah well, at least we have the freedom to gripe about it together. ‘MURICA.

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Expectation: Throwing a cool, outdoor barbecue in the shade

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Picthx: Pinterest

Reality: Just stepping outside feels like burning

Alternative: Having it at the beach and being gloomy as f@#k

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Expectation: Having time to make lots of cute, USA-themed snacks

Picthx: Apollinas

Reality: Barely having enough time to buy groceries

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Expectation: Enjoying a nice, stress-free potluck with friends and family

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Picthx: Chella’s Common Cents

Reality: No one brings anything but booze and utensils, forcing you to whip up something last minute

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Expectation: Sticking to your summer diet

Reality: Parking your butt at the dessert table

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Expectation: Lighting the grill on the first try

Reality: UGH WHY MUST YOU BE SO DIFFICULT?!

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Expectation: Finally getting to nom on all the delicious grilled grub

Reality: Waiting. Lots of waiting. Probably some food poisoning when you get tired of waiting.

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Expectation: Washing everything down with a sweet, cool, delicious ice cream

Reality: Staring at a great big puddle of melted cow tears

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Expectation: It’s a classy summer party, time to break out the sparkling whites and rosés‎!

Reality: PBR for days

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Expectation: Toasting the perfect s’more

Reality: Ending up with a pile of burnt messy goop

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Can you even call those s’mores anymore?

Picthx: Chocolate Moosey

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Expectations: Kicking off the night with beautiful fireworks

Reality: Too cloudy to see ANYTHING

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Expectations: Being totally able to function at work tomorrow

Reality:

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Expectations: Spending the day filled with the love of your country

Reality: ‘MURICA F@#K YEAHHH”

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Happy 4th of July everybody!

H/T Giphy

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True Picnic Attire

Now this girl is definitely dressed for a picnic. Most of the time people worry about getting food on their clothes when they’re eating, but in this case I think that may be the point. I guess it takes out some of the hassle of having a picnic, in that your dress and picnic blanket are one in the same. I can’t imagine her being too comfortable if she had a few guests over constantly sitting on her dress the whole time.

(via Reddish)