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You Can Anonymously Send A Bag Of Gummy D*cks For Valentine’s Day

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For anyone who’s ever been told to “Eat a dick,” here’s your chance to get a few in before Valentine’s Day. Dicks by Mail, the online service that sends gummy penises to anyone is offering a special Valentine’s Day Box for the upcoming holiday.

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The non-conspicous packaging is a perfect decoy for any and every romantic from here to the end of the block. For $20, you just include the name and address of the recipient and patiently wait for a reaction from your Valentine. A bag of dicks, without the holiday packaging, costs $15.

You can also customize your bag of dicks with additional penis-shaped confetti and glitter for an additional fee, leaving an unwanted messed for the target of your affections.