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This Poor Crab Has Oysters Literally Growing Out Of Its Face

This poor crab looks like the result of a seafood Frankenstein experiment gone wrong.

The Washington Post reports that the mayor of Chesapeake Bay’s Tangier Island, James “Ooker” Eskridge, found this bizarre crustacean with oysters literally growing out of its head (and next to its eyes) last week in his crab pot.

The Frankencrab, which experts at the Chesapeake Bay Foundation confirmed to the Post to still be alive as of Wednesday, came to be because oyster larvae are running out of places to anchor themselves for growth. Pollution in the Chesapeake Bay has significantly diminished the amount of reefs that the mollusks could attach themselves to, so the larvae have had to turn to new locations like old oyster shells and live crab shells.

In fact, local fisherman have dug up crabs with tiny oysters attached to claws or other parts of their body before, but it’s extremely rare to see oysters so big sprouting right next to the crab’s eyes.

Unfortunately, the poor crab has had to deal with some harsh consequences for becoming the unwitting home for the shellfish. Chesapeake Bay Foundation spokesperson Tom Zolper states that because the oysters are so close to the crab’s eyes, it likely cannot see straight ahead and can only look upward. The crustacean has probably tried to knock the oysters off using its claws, but obviously failed since they wouldn’t still be there otherwise.

This disturbing combo of crab and oyster may be seen more frequently since pollution has been identified as a reason this abomination happened in the first place. Considering that the current administration recently decided to pull us out of a global climate change effort that committed the United States to decreasing pollution, that chance is now even more likely.


Actual Franken-Foods: The Top Five Things We Love to Eat While Still Alive

I’m not evolved enough to say I can watch a whole episode of Bizzare Foods without squirming. But plenty of people love eating fried ants like popcorn, with the more adventurous eating them while still alive and slightly “chilled.” There’s definitely something to be said of those of us who can devour a a plate of squirming maggots without blinking an eye. That being said, I’d er, definitely recommend giving “living food” a shot. Maybe you could even start with one of these LFs compiled by the guys at Thrillist. Just don’t be surprised if your dinner tries to fight back.




There’s a restaurant in Denmark that serves a $300 salad topped with chilled ants and crème fraîche, because apparently the labor of going outside and digging some up yourself is worth the extra $299.99.


Casu Marzu


AKA the maggot cheese, made by allowing flies to land and hatch eggs inside it as the cheese ages. Yummy?




Apparently these guys die once you pop the shell open, so I’m not entirely sure how you can eat a living one. You can, however, get a pretty damn recently-dead or dying one, you sick sadist you.




Try not to choke while you’re sucking down this Korean dish of still-squirming octopus tentacles. Sh*t is killer.




Lastly, let’s never mind the fact that this thing looks creepy AF and focus on its being “live sashimi.” As in, you chop it up while it’s still flapping around. Poor Nemo.


Check out the rest of the list at Thrillist.


The Oyster Job: 90 Pounds of Oysters Stolen

Paul Appleby, a distributor from SeaFresh Oysters, was making his rounds delivering oysters when he came back to his truck and noticed that two boxes of oysters were taken from the the back of his truck. The thieves made off with an estimated 90 pounds of oysters, roughly about 1,000 mollusks. Appleby believes the estimated loss will be around $500 for him as a distributor, but up to $1,500 for customers hungry for oysters.

So what do you think the story is behind these missing oysters? A bunch of oyster hungry thieves? A desperate couple whose dinner party menu got ruined? Aliens looking for fuel?

Well, maybe not that last one.

(via: Eater Photo: bal1227)