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The Best College Drunk Foods at the 25 Best Party Schools

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Ahhh, college. It’s where children blossom into adults, and then keep blossoming into larger and larger adults, because the main point of most nights is to eat two entire pizzas, plus a side of pizza, at 3am.

But we can’t go back, no matter how hard we petition the admissions office at DeVry. So instead, we took 25 of the drunkest schools — Playboy’s 10 Top Party Schools of 2013, plus a handful of others famous for an extreme aversion to sobriety — and rounded up glorious tales of consumption. Then we assembled them in a format that in no way hilariously mimics any food guide that has existed in the form of a little red book you keep in your bathroom.

Enjoy… until the acid reflux sets in.

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MICHIGAN

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Ray’s Red Hots
“The old Red Hot Lovers” is now Ray’s Red Hots, but the place is “still seriously legit.” The namesake dogs, including the “Snap Casing” and the “Reuben Dog,” are “quite dank,” but the “Half-and-Half with cheese” (a “mound of curly fries, a pile of thick-cut onion rings, and a melted-on-the-spot cheddar cheese topping”) is “barf if you’ve been drinking a lot, but good barf.” “I lived on the adjacent street for two years, and during that time went here 195821941014 times, give or take.”

Runners-Up: BTB Burrito, Fleetwood Diner, Pizza House

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OLE MISS

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“That Chevron With Chicken-on-a-Stick”
“By far the most famous late-night eating spot in Oxford,” this “gas station — I mean, it’s a damn gas station — right off the square where everyone gathers when the bars close at midnight” is “a legend for only one thing”: “a massive growth of greasy fried chicken that would kill a T-Rex, on a skewer.” Except for one guy “who always went for the egg roll, just to be different or something.”

Runners-Up: “Literally the only food I remember from that town is Chicken-on-a-Stick”

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SYRACUSE 

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Chuck’s Café
“Covered in graffiti” and offering “a plethora of seating,” “Chuck’s Café, according to Foursquare, or Hungry Chuck’s, according to my bank statements” will happily serve you “the best bar food in the world.” Friday brings “$4 pitchers, which you HOUSE, and then it’s time to eat,” and the “BBQ chipotle chicken tenders,” “skirt steak sandwich,” and “the $2 fries” are “the best things ever.” “I want them to cater my wedding.”

Runners-Up: Wings over Syracuse, Sliders Burgers and Belgian Fries, Cosmos Pizza & Grill

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TEXAS

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Taco Cabana
“The reason Texans hate Mexican food everywhere else” is “honestly the best chain of any kind on the planet,” and also “walking distance from frat parties, and if you don’t dress well, co-op parties.” The “24-hours” joint is equipped with “a salsa bar — I once made an all-salsa taco,” but “just order the queso and house-made tortillas” which “should be purchased by the dozen” and will “cause your testicles to explode.” Also, “one time someone stole a big-screen television from the dining area” and ”Sean Elliot once did a super-weird commercial for them that I can’t find anywhere on YouTube.”

Runners-Up: DoubleDave’s Pizzaworks, Magnolia Cafe

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GEORGIA

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The Grill
This “true diner” is the “only 24-hour joint in Athens other than Waffle House,” and is “famous for having every burger, shake, and patty melt under the sun,” in addition to a “ridiculous double-decker grilled cheese with bacon.” Decor is highlighted by “vintage comic books and soda bottles” that “people tried to steal every time they went” before realizing “they were in a glass case,” and so “swiped a ketchup bottle instead. I woke up with one in my purse once, and I don’t even like ketchup that much.”

Runner-Up: Little Italy Pizzeria, mainly because “in 2005, they discovered it was basically doubling as a meth lab. I’m not sure they cooked it there, but he dealt it. It was a big story in the Red and Black!”

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MIAMI

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New York Roma Pizza
“The old Groovy’s” in Coconut Grove is now “New York Pizza,” “the only pizza spot left in what passes for a college bar scene in Miami.” You may “get in multiple physical altercations there” when someone tries “the old ‘chat-and-cut’ move,” but the “slice with all the meat on it” is “totally worth it,” even though one time “some teacher stood in the doorway blocking everyone” and “proclaimed that he was a goddamn veteran of the United States Effing Marine Corps,” and “threatened to take down anyone who dared insult the integrity of that line.”

Runner-Up: El Mago de Las Fritas

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CORNELL

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Collegetown Bagels
Even though its circular wares are “good at all times — not just while drunk,” this “iconic” bagel shop run by “a friendly group of Ithaca townies who are just dying to partake in the college fun” is a “late-night fixture.” The “HUGE menu” is highlighted by “next-level pizza bagels — Tuscan verde, chicken melt, etc,” and also interestingly features “pitchers of beer and sangria.” “Stories abound” of people “having sex” or “just plain-old puking” in the bathrooms, and at least one fine patron has “peed a pizza box, right in front of a cop. That didn’t go so well.”

Runners-Up: College Town Pizza, Hot Truck

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FLORIDA

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Relish
This “super-greasy, design-your-own-burger shop” in a “little corner shopping center next to the strip of bars” will “let you stack up to 10 patties on a single burger” and “you also get to choose as many toppings and sauces as you want,” like the “Double Tasty with cheese, bacon, egg, lettuce, tomato, hummus, ranch, dijon mustard, and hot sauce.” It’s also “one of Gainesville’s top pick-up spots… seriously” and “hands-down the most fun line in town,” especially when “your friends start passing out left and right because of the wait — so be ready to abandon them to get your burger.”

Runners-Up: Five Star Pizza, Larry’s Giant Subs

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USC

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Chano’s
“You can’t spell Chano’s without nachos,” but this “little Mexican dive” “right next to frat row” is also “really the only possible choice” for “chicken quesadillas smothered in sour cream” and “holy-sh*t carne asada fries.” “Outdoor seating” and a “drive-thru no one from USC ever uses ‘cause they’re always too hammered to drive when going there” add to the SoCal ambiance, and the place is thankfully “not quite into the ‘hood enough to get you shanked.'” And, best of all, it’s “for everyone”: “I went to film school and was not in a frat, but nobody wanted to beat me up there.”

Runners-Up: “There are seriously no runner-ups — ask any Trojan”

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MARYLAND

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Ratsie’s Pizza
“The dirtiest dump ever” serves the most “rubbery, oily, desperate slice of pizza you could ever imagine,” which “will 100,000% give you the worst heartburn the next day” but “it’s so worth it.” “The guy who runs it always hits on college girls and gives them free pizza and stuff” and “flashing him might work”; otherwise, just watch “every single weird thing ever go down” as you put back “some slices and zucchini sticks.”

Runners-Up: Plato’s Diner, Cluck-U Chicken, D.P. Dough

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FLORIDA STATE

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Guthrie’s
Hop on the “line to the drive-thru that stays open until 4am” and “wait loudly” for your “Gut Box with extra Gut Sauce”: “chicken fingers, greasy crinkle-cut fries, sweet coleslaw, and buttery Texas toast.” Said sauce is “light pink and probably just a mix of mayo, ketchup, Worcestershire, and a sh*t-ton of garlic powder and pepper.” It’s also “the source of urban legends”: “you can use it as axle grease,” “one time a pledge chugged a gallon and had to go to the ER,” and “someone’s friend’s cousin had to get porcelain veneers because it removed all the enamel from her teeth.” “Don’t you dare go there sober — it will ruin your world view.”

Runners-Up: Gordos, Mr. Roboto Tokyo Grill

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ALABAMA

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Quick Grill
“Right on the strip,” this “permanent version of a New York peanut stand” is “can’t even fit a cook if the cook is fat” small and only manages room for “a couple random benches.” It’s “all about the Messy Fries”: “French fries swimming in nacho cheese” — just be sure to “get at least a billion napkins — they are ungodly messy.” After ordering at the window, “grab a seat and get ready to wait outside for a while,” as “the name is a bigger lie than Al Gore inventing beards.”

Runners-Up: Buffalo Phil’s, City Cafe, and Mr. T: “this guy who comes right into the bars and sells $2 BBQ sandwiches”

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NORTH CAROLINA

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[B]SKI’s
This “fairly nice-looking place if you didn’t look too closely at the rugs” will “turn any meal into a wrap,” “also known as a ‘ski.’” “No, I don’t know why.” Get yourself an “absolutely huge” “AK Ski with fried chicken, hot sauce, and ranch,” but be careful: “they blacklist people’s phone numbers who ordered delivery, then passed out before it got there,” leaving it to “become a game of figuring out who WASN’T blacklisted when you want an Aloha Ski after a long night.” “They also have ridiculously good chocolate chip cookies.”

Runners-Up: Time-Out Restaurant, Hot Dogs & Brew, Artisan Pizza Kitchen

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VIRGINIA

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The White Spot
The “hilariously inadvertent comment on the school’s lack of diversity” is “famous for one thing only”: the “Gus Burger,” which is “basically just a cheeseburger with a fried egg on top,” and “is not/never was made by a dude named Gus.” Bolder eaters may opt for the “Double Gus,” while watching “freshmen carry out a rite of passage: milling around hoping someone finds their gluttony attractive enough to take them home.” “This works approximately never, but you can get your hands on a Gus Burger approximately always.”

Runners-Up: Littlejohn’s New York Deli, Christian’s Pizza

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WEST VIRGINIA

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Are U Hungry/Sandwich U
“Also known as Sandwich U,” this joint sells “souvenir shirts that say ‘Have you had a Fat Bitch lately?’, not that I own one or anything,” but the real deal is the “just silly-big sandwiches,” including said Fat Bitch, as well as the “Fat Blunt and the Fat Bastard.” “They shove in everything imaginable” — “gyro meat, mozz sticks, chicken fingers, eggs” — and “out comes someone who needs a wheelbarrow to get home.”

Runners-Up: Casa D’Amici, Pita Pit, “that hot dog truck thing”

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COLORADO

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Cosmo’s Pizza
“Slices bigger than your head even if you’re some freak with a really huge head” are the featured item at this joint “in the little drunk/hungover-person Nirvana of a shopping center” that “also has Dot’s Diner.” “Really super-stoned people — not just drunks!” line up for slices that’re “basically just vehicles for the spicy ranch,” which “is also sold by the mason jar if you need to get your severe acid reflux on at home, too.”

Runners-Up: Tra Ling’s Oriental Cafe, “Smelly Deli” (University Hill Market & Deli)

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WISCONSIN

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Jin’s Chicken & Fish
This “piece of crap cart next to all the frats on Langdon” is “almost definitely run by the dude from Lost, although he looks different,” and peddles “sandwiches that will make you regret ever going to college the next AM.” “I literally never heard of anyone who got the fish,” but the “fried chicken with mayo and Frank’s is beyond delicious… I think” — “my entire night used to be about raising $4.” When that doesn’t work out, though, it’s not over: “we did card tricks for sandwiches one time, but that only worked for girls,” and it’s important to remember that “flashing always helps, too.”

Runners-Up: Ian’s Pizza, Parthenon Gyros

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INDIANA

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Mother Bear’s Pizza
“Old wooden booths and paneled walls” welcome you into this “institution” with “really affordable pizzas, even for poor people,” all “gently lorded over” by “the manager for, like, 100 years, Wiz” — “nobody beats her.” The “Divine Swine and Spinoccoli pies” are trusty go-tos, but if you’re really hungry, “just shut up and get the Munchie Madness,” “a package that included a pizza, breadsticks, brownies, and a two-liter.” “If I was an actual bear, and there were no foolish campers cooking bacon, I would come right here.”

Runners-Up: Aver’s Gourmet Pizza, Pizza X

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IOWA

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Panchero’s Mexican Grill
“The only thing you need to know about Panchero’s is the Quesadilla Girl video.” “So this girl starts screaming at another girl late-night, then whirls around and hits this dude in the face.” “He proceeds to push her, and then everything goes wild.” “She falls on the floor, and eventually gets up,” but “best of all, after all that,” “she goes behind the counter and demands her damn quesadilla.” “They’re that good.”

Runners-Up: Marco’s Grilled Cheese, Mesa Pizza, The Pit

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OHIO STATE

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Mikey’s Late Night Slice
“This place means the world to me,” and also does for “countless students who seem like they may never become sober again. Like, biologically.” “The hammered-people food-of-the-moment in Columbus” is “worth the long lines,” and while “the pizza will change your outlook on life and maybe make you run to the bathroom,” “don’t sleep on the Pizza Dawg,” a “giant hot dog filled with meat and cheese, then wrapped with a slice of pizza.” And don’t sleep with “the Slut Sauce,” which “delivers an awesome tang, but not like astronauts eat” and “should cover your pizza so thoroughly you can’t see anything but Slut.”

Runners-Up: PJ’s Sandwiches, Hounddog’s 3 Degree Pizza, Apollos Greek Kitchen

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MISSOURI

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El Rancho
“Most people will claim to absolutely hate El Rancho unless they’re drunk,” “and then that happens,” and then “you’ll find them at 2am demolishing a plate of steak fajita nachos.” “Right near all the bars,” this “cheap and dirty Mexican food” outpost “is open until 3am” and “will serve you booze all night” — “it’s the worst idea ever. Seriously, why would they do that?” “The margaritas are huge,” “made with cleaning products,” and “cost, like, a quarter.”

Runners-Up: Shakespeare’s Pizza, Broadway Diner

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OKLAHOMA

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Pizza Shuttle
“Basically the Totinos of delivery,” “no sane person would EVER eat this crap sober,” but, “hey, cheap pizza delivered to your door at 2:30am is fantastic.” “Their website hasn’t changed since Howard Schnellenberger was OU’s coach,” but they’ll still manage to deliver you “sandwiches that are every bit as delicious as their pizzas.” In summation, “it’s way more delicious than the space shuttle, plus it’s still in business.”

Runners-Up: The Mont Restaurant, O’Connell’s Irish Pub & Grille, Louie’s Grill & Bar

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LSU

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Raising Cane’s Chicken Fingers
“The original,” which was “started by LSU business students who are now super-rich people” is “all decked out with LSU stuff,” including “much classier tiger-skin walls than normally found in chicken finger establishments.” “Go with the Box,” which is “filled with huge, greasy chicken fingers and fries,” but “be sure to switch out the cole slaw for extra Texas toast” so you can “most effectively sponge up all of the simply ridiculous Cane’s Sauce.” “I have no idea what it is, and honestly I don’t really care,” but “I would drink it with a straw if that’s what it came down to, and I kinda hope that’s what it comes down to.”

Runner-Up: Louie’s Cafe

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MICHIGAN STATE

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Bell’s Greek Pizza
“There’s great pizza in East Lansing,” but at 4am, “skip it and go to Bell’s.” “Like the dudes in the surrounding frats, it’s greasy and Greek,” but “nothing tastes like this pizza” — “the crust is like a sponge dunked in butter and deep-fried,” “the cheese is sharp and definitely not mozzarella,” and “you can eat the whole thing in two giant bites.” And at $1 a slice, “it’s the main contributor to the freshman 15.” They’ve also got “super-greasy grinders, pasta, and spinach pie,” plus, unlike most eateries in the city, “it’s been around since the ’60s,” so you can “take your alum dad there and relive memories he doesn’t actually remember.”

Runners-Up: Georgio’s Gourmet Pizza, Jersey Giant Subs, Menna’s Joint, Goombas Pizza USA

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ARIZONA STATE

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Oregano’s Pizza Bistro
While “the pizza is pretty good,” especially “the stuffed ones, which weigh about 600lbs a slice,” “I did it all for the Pizookie.” The “massive half-baked soft cookie” is “the finest piece of drunk food ass I’ve ever seen.” Go with “half chocolate chip, half white chocolate macadamia nut,” or the “peanut butter,” but the topper, literally, is “mounds of vanilla ice cream.” “The thing is only five bucks, but it could probably feed a family for weeks, even if they were a really fat family.”

Runners-Up: Cheba Hut, Silver Mine Subs

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This list brought to you by the folks at Thrillist

Categories
Fast Food

Taco Bell’s New Smothered Burrito Goes National Thursday, July 25th

Taco-Bell-Smothered-Burrito

Thanks to a vigilant tipster, GrubGrade announced that Taco Bell’s Smothered Burrito is set to hit national menus. You may remember the item from last November, when it was spotted in Ohio during its test run.

The new item is set to replace the Enchirito, which has proved to be a bit too messy (is there such a thing?)  for customers in the past. The Smothered Burrito is a hefty contender and rings in at 10.5″. The behemoth features a flour tortilla stuffed with shredded chicken, rice and refried beans. The whole shebang is then smothered in red sauce, a three-cheese blend and reduced-fat sour cream (to keep things healthy, of course). During testing, the chicken and steak versions were priced at $3.99, while the beef was priced at $2.99.

After calling two locations in our local area (one in Orange, CA and another in Santa Ana, CA), along with two other locations in New York and Illinois, all four Taco Bell spots confirmed that they will be rolling out the new Smothered Burrito nationally this Thursday, July 25th.

Are we excited? Hell to the yes. You know where to find us come Thursday.

H/T + PicThx GrubGrade

Categories
Fast Food

White Castle Enters Food Truck Game with the ‘Crave Mobile’

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White Castle’s signature square sliders are rolling in style with the introduction of two brand new White Castle food trucks. The specially outfitted burger vehicles will start off catering special events (because let’s be real, what wedding or funeral would be complete without a plate full of White Castle sliders?) and then branch out to offer more traditional dining services. Where exactly depends which areas of Louisville, Kentucky and Columbus, Ohio White Castle bigwigs deem lucky enough to receive a visit from the special slider trucks.

The trucks are still hammering out their menu, but right now it looks like they’ll offer three variations on the traditional sliders that customers know and love. This includes the possibility of never-before-seen options like caramel fries that would be available for in-truck dining only. We gotta say, the mental image of one of these babies rolling up to our neighborhood and popping out tray after tray of sliders with a side (or three) of caramel fries is a pretty good one. Alas, White Castle’s food truck experiment is confined to Kentucky and Ohio for now, so we’ll just have to do some serious drooling from afar.

H/T BusinessWeek

Categories
Restaurants

This is What Clam Chowder Udon Looks Like

Earlier this week I had a chance to fly out to Cleveland, Ohio for Certified Angus Beef’s 2012 Culinary Ideation and Trends Session. The post for all that is coming soon, but while I was there, I also caught wind of at least one food item I never thought I would hear about, ever.

I im’ed my editor immediately:

“Clam. Chowder. Udon.”

This explosion of East meets . . . further . . . East comes from Cleveland-based restaurant Noodlecat, which opened in August 2011. Branded as a “slurpalicious Japanese-American mash-up from Chef Jonathon Sawyer,” much of Noodlecat’s menu looks like what happens when a college student decides to go to culinary school and comes back to make the exact same foods he made before, only a million times better.

To be honest, the whole menu is jaw-dropping, so expect this to turn into a continuing series of posts, but to kick us off, the Clam Chowder Udon pictured above is a fusion-inspired soup made with udon noodles, potatoes, onions, celery and bacon, in a creamy clam and bonito broth.

Truth be told, the official menu actually says the bacon is “optional,” but if you’re a regular Foodbeast reader, you should know by now that bacon is never optional. And if you’re a regular Foodbeast reader from Ohio, neither is paying Noodlecat a visit. Like, right now.

[Photo via Noodlecat]

Categories
Fast Food

Wake and McBake: McDonald’s to Offer Breakfast after Midnight

In an attempt to tap into the McStoner, McNightOwl, McHellaEarlyBird and McClosingShift market, McDonald’s is currently testing a new Breakfast after Midnight menu at all its 24-hour locations in central Ohio.

As relayed by Burger Business, less than 1% of customer traffic at quick-service restaurants comes by between the hours of 2 and 5 a.m. The new campaign, dubbed the “Nocturnivore,” aims to increase that number by satisfying the gamut of late-night McMunchies, from french fries to hash browns and (pretty much) everything in between.

The BAM is available from midnight to 10 a.m., and includes Egg McMuffins, Sausage McMuffins, hotcakes with sausage, breakfast burritos, Fruit and Maple Oatmeal, hash browns, juice and coffee.

And yes, I am lovin’ it.

[Via Consumerist, Columbus Business FirstBusiness Insider]

Categories
Restaurants

Life-long Discount For Getting a Grilled Cheese Tattoo in Ohio

It’s called the “Melt Tattoo Family”, and it’s Ohio’s Melt Bar & Grilled  ‘prestiguous’ club with one main right of entry — a tattoo of a Melt Bar and Grilled logo. The Cleveland, OH base restaurant offers up members of their club 25% off any purchase at Melt Bar and Grilled, for life. For those in Ohio, the deal beckons, as the restaurant will celebrate the grand opening of their third location in Independence, OH tomorrow, October 7th.

The restaurant built up a massive following (currently clocking in over 40,000 fans on their Facebook page) and has even attracted the like’s of  Adam Richman, the host of The Travel Channel’s Man v. Food. Richman attempted to put down the restaurant’s monster grilled cheese, a sandwich that features 13 different cheese, 3 slices of grilled bread, and a pile of hand-cut fries & slaw.

The entire dish weighs over 5 lbs., and completing it without any help or trips to the bathroom will credit you with a t-shirt or a Melt Pint Glass, a $10 gift card and immortalization in their online Melt Challenge Hall of Fame.

At the time of this article, it looks like nearly 300 folks have immortalized ink on their person for the 25% promo, and close to 100 customers have completed their Melt Challenge. Which will you conquer?

Melt Bar & Grilled

West

14718 Detroit Ave.
Lakewood, OH 44107
216.226.3699

East

13463 Cedar Road
Cleveland Heights, OH 44118
216.965.0988

South

Liberty Commons
Rockside Road
Independence, OH

 

 

Categories
Products

New Meat Labeling Uses QR Codes to Relay Sourcing Information

Do you care where your beef was raised? Do you want to know what farm it came from, what family handled it? A fair amount of you do, and for those curious consumers with a QR-reader application on your cell phone, it’s becoming more of a reality! Heinen’s Fine Foods, a regional retailer with 17 locations throughout northeast Ohio have launched what they call a WhereFoodComesFrom program.

The idea is simple, the Heinen’s brand will incorporate a quick response (QR) bar code on all of its own beef and pork products that will allow consumers using a smart phone to scan the product and quickly access detailed information about the product’s origins.

If a rancher, farmer, or food supplier cares to use the WhereFoodComesFrom verification seal of approval, the source of the product must be verified through a U.S. Department of Agriculture (USDA) Process Verified Program (PVP) or Quality Systems Assessment (QS) auditing system.

WhereFoodComesFrom(R) and IMI Global rely on a proven system of third party verification to ensure that a food supplier’s claims are accurate. In addition to its core source and age verification services, IMI Global offers verification programs for humane handling, grass fed, natural, sustainable ranching practices and other food marketing claims. The Company has more than 6,000 customers nationwide, including ranchers, feed yards and packer-processors.

The premise is interesting for fresh, raw, and otherwise quickly perishable food products at our local grocery stores. Would you scan QR codes to get more information about the meat your consuming? Maybe your vegetables in the future? Or should we trust our local markets to be doing that fact-checking for us?

 

Categories
Fast Food

Culver’s Restaurants Reveals 3 New Frozen Pumpkin Drinks

Wisconsin-based Culver’s has been pumping out quality frozen custards and warm burgers since 1984, and this Fall season they’re accepting the flavors nature’s given them and dropped three fresh new flavors for your enjoyment. The three items up for grabs are their Pumpkin Spice Shake, a Pumpkin Pecan Concrete Mixer, and Pumpkin Cheesecake Concrete Mixer and a Pumpin Cheesecake Concrete Mixer.

Here’s the lowdown on all three:

  • Pumpkin Spice Shake: Real pumpkin, pureed and mixed with traditional pumpkin pie spice and vanilla Fresh Frozen Custard
  • Pumpkin Pecan Concrete Mixer: Real pumpkin, pureed and mixed with traditional pumpkin pie spice and vanilla Fresh Frozen Custard
  • Pumpkin Cheesecake Concrete Mixer: Real pumpkin, pureed and mixed with traditional pumpkin pie spice and vanilla Fresh Frozen Custard
Culver’s has over 425 locations spanning Tennessee, Kentucky and Ohio, all the way to Wyoming and Utah, Arizona, Texas and North Dakota. To find a location in your area, use their website’s location finder.