Some Guy Found a Medieval Guide to Cooking Unicorn Meat


How do you tell if you’ve found the perfect cut of unicorn? Is it the marbling, signature to stock raised on fairy dust feed? Is it the grade, prímsang, corennes, or selecte? And what about the rarer breeds? Does a Narnian unicorn really taste all that better than an Equestrian one?

About a year ago, the British library discovered a recipe for unicorn meat in a Fourteenth Century cookbook. Unfortunately, supposed royal chef Geoffrey Fule left no insight as to which Ye Olde Ralfe’s might carry the choicest unicorn steaks in all the land, but he did understand the magic of a few garlic cloves.


Reads the British Library’s description:

“After recipes for herring, tripe and codswallop (fish stew, a popular dish in the Middle Ages) comes that beginning ‘Taketh one unicorne.’ The recipe calls for the beast to be marinaded in cloves and garlic, and then roasted on a griddle. The cookbook’s compiler, doubtless Geoffrey Fule himself, added pictures in its margins, depicting the unicorn being prepared and then served.”

Sounds yummy, although, if it’s anything like horse, we suspect it could be a bit gamey. Might be better to stick to the canned dragon meat.

H/T + PicThx British Library

Packaged Food

‘Healthya’ Coffee That Burns Fat? Yeah Right, That Only Happens in Narnia


Wait, healthy coffee exists?  Kao Japan is releasing Healthya brand coffee, which is said to burn fat.  I guess drinking venti double white chocolate mochas with extra whip isn’t exactly what I should be doing unless my life goal is to die of a heart attack, but I’m still a bit wary if this stuff works.  It just sounds a little too. . . miraculous.

Healthya Coffee has been in the making for 10 years apparently.  In order to make coffee fat-burning, the coffee beans used for Healthya brand are roasted two and a half times that of normal coffee beans, producing more chlorogenic acid.  To counter the extra roasting, Healthya uses a “nanotrap” that reduces the oxides that came from the extra roasting. According to RocketNews24

In a 12-week trial the maker reported an average of 1.5 kg (3.3 lbs.) lost in a group of 109 obese men and women. By drinking one 185 mL can a day, 25 percent of the subjects reported weight loss after four weeks, 51 percent after eight weeks and 72 percent after 12 weeks.

I’m still not convinced though.  As soon as someone proves to me — utilizing all six of the steps in the scientific method — that I can sit on my nice leather couch the entire day and watch all six seasons of Gossip Girl on Netflix while drinking coffee and still lose weight, then I will stop running 7 miles every day and take up this innovation instead.  But until then. . .

Even if it did work, it’s only going to be available in Japan.  Bust.  But if you happen to be headed to the other side of the world anytime soon, Healthya Coffee will cost $1.60 (150 yen) per can and will be offered in two different flavors: Sugar-Free Black and Sugar-Light with Milk starting today.  And for the rest of us who won’t be headed to that side of the Pacific, I guess we will just have to stick to old-fashioned weight loss methods like exercise and such. Aw, shucks.

Healthya $1.60 @Kao

H/T + PicThx RocketNews24