Hit-Or-Miss News

62-Year-Old Man Tries Smuggling Meth Inside Tortilla Packages


Those pesky border patrolmen are getting wiser by the day, so drug runners seem to be getting more and more creative with their smuggling.

In this case, US Customs and Border Patrol Officers found a 62-year-old man trying to smuggle three pounds of meth hidden within packages of tortillas, Friday, Oct. 28.

They stopped the man at the border in Nogales, Arizona, and turned him in to US Immigration and Customs Enforcement’s Homeland Security Investigations.

More disappointing than anything, is the waste of all those tortillas. That’s at least 90 tacos that will never come to fruition, all because this dude tried being the Heisenberg of Mexico.

Border patrol also reported an additional meth seizure of 26 pounds that day, worth $78,000. They’re not yet sure if the two seizures were related, but that’s a lot of blow going down the drain in one weekend.

Hit-Or-Miss Humor

Mom Mistakenly Thinks Her Daughter’s On Meth, Apologizes With Cake

Moms always fear the worst for their kids. If you don’t answer their phone calls, they think you’re dead. If they catch you kissing your partner, suddenly you’re dating a whore. Let’s not forget the favorite of every son, or daughter: if you’re acting strange, at all, you’re on drugs.

This hilarious throwback tweet from a girl named Rachel Gelmis showed the result of an accidental failed drug test that freaked out her mother.

Gelmis, now 20, said her mom requested her high school conduct a random drug test on her, which is already a paranoid thing to do. The test results showed that Rachel was not only on drugs, but she was on every drug. When the false test got back to her mother, she was mortified to find that her daughter wasn’t just on something mild like weed, but cocaine, meth, and even heroin, too.

As you can imagine, mama Gelmis was going to help her daughter fight this addiction, the only problem is that the school misread the test, and Rachel was actually as clean as Will Smith’s rap lyrics.

An apology cake was in order, as her mom was embarrassed and sorry for doubting her daughter’s sobriety. The cake read: “Sorry we thought you did coke & meth & pot & heroin.”

Now she’s off to college, probably doing all those drugs, for real.

Just kidding, Mrs. Gelmis. You have nothing to worry about, although you probably will anyway.

h/t distractify


Girl Caught Smuggling Meth-Filled Burrito & Hodor Gets His Own Cake [KATCHUP]

Here we are, another episode of the FOODBEAST Katchup. If you missed out on all the food news this week, fear not. This series catches you up on all the top stories in the wide world of food.

This week, Olive Garden dropped some awesome new spaghetti pies. Wonder how many of those we could tackle? A Russian couple found a bear cub and raised it until it was fully grown. Now, the bear just sits and eats with them like it was straight out of a Disney movie.

If you’re a fan of those tiny yellow chili peppers from In-N-Out, you’re shit out of luck. An industry-wide shortage means you won’t be seeing many of them this summer. If you’ve been keeping up with this season of Game of Thrones, you’ll recall the unforgettable Hodor episode a few weeks back. Well, a hotel was so touched by what happened that they made a door-shaped cake for the actor who played Hodor.

Finally, if you plan on smuggling meth across the border you may want to avoid using burritos. This girl got caught doing that exact thing and now everyone’s wise to it.

Check out this week’s Katchup.


Olive Garden spaghetti pie

Spaghetti Pie Array

As Olive Garden keeps trying to reinvent pasta, its new summer menu includes pies made entirely of spaghetti, that might scare off Italian food enthusiasts, but excite those looking to try something new. READ MORE

Russian couple eats dinner with bear


I woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning, overcooked my eggs and put the shower on too hot, but seeing this bear immediately turned things around for me. A Russian couple did something that sounds straight out of urban legends, as they somehow house-trained a bear, to the point where the grizzly could sit down on the dining room table and enjoy a nice dinner with the couple. READ MORE

Photo: Caters News Agency

In-N-Out running out of yellow peppers


Each week, I find myself helplessly drawn to my local In-N-Out where my order is standard: No. 1, no onions, add pickle and mustard, a Lemon-Up (sometimes Dr. Pepper). On some days, things get crazy and I’ll add chopped chilies to my Double Double, but mostly, I ask for yellow peppers on the side, without question. My favorite part of the meal is taking a bite of the yellow banana pepper, which I call chilies, then squeezing the juice all over every bite of my Double Double and fries.


The Game of Thrones door cake


Game of Thrones is arguably the most compelling drama on television right now, and will likely end its run in a few years as one of the greatest shows of all time. With its high production value and almost excessively engaging storyline, this epic series could very well “hold the door” for others to follow suit. Honestly though, I doubt it.

Kristian Nairn, the popular Irish DJ and actor that portrays the beloved character Hodor, was pleasantly surprised when he checked into his room and found a delightful little pastry made especially for him by Rachel Newman, the exceedingly talented pastry chef at the W Hotel. READ MORE

Girl caught smuggling meth burrito


An Arizona woman was recently apprehended for allegedly sneaking some methamphetamine tucked inside a burrito across the U.S.-Mexico border at Nogales, Arizona. READ MORE


Twenty-Five-Year-Old Woman Caught At The Mexican Border Smuggling A $3,000 Meth-Filled Burrito


An Arizona woman was recently apprehended for allegedly sneaking some methamphetamine tucked inside a burrito across the U.S.-Mexico border at Nogales, Arizona.

Customs officials caught 25-year-old Susy Janelly Laborin carrying a pound of contraband as she was crossing into the United States on foot via the Nogales-Morley pedestrian gate on May 20.

Suspicious of her lunch bag, a U.S. Customs and Border Protection officer decided to question Laborin who then immediately looked nervous. An inspection of the plastic bag she was carrying later revealed one meth-filled burrito among other normal ones, CBP Assistant Port Director Joe Agosttini told Daily Mail.


Homeland Security Investigations agents later probed into the case with Laborin waiving her right to remain silent and answering further questions.

Upon questioning, Laborin admitted in the knowledge that she was carrying narcotics and claimed that she was promised $500 to transport and deliver the illegal substance to a third party. Officials estimated the value of the confiscated pound of meth was around $3,000.


Agosttini said it is usual to find pedestrian smugglers carrying no more than 50 pounds of drugs. While smuggling on foot is usually done with contraband taped to the smuggler’s bodies, there have been numerous food-related drug-smuggling attempts done in the past.

A person was once caught carrying a stack of tortillas stuffed with a pound of heroin inside a hollowed out center, while another smuggler hid some drugs inside a McDonald’s bag of burgers, Agosttini shared.

Written by NextShark

Fast Food

Former Taco Bell Employee Turned His Taco Bell Into A Meth Lab

Meth 01

Cedar Rapids police arrested two men on Tuesday outside of a Taco Bell after they discovered the remains of a meth lab located inside the restaurant. Apparently one of them worked at the fast food location, KTLA reports.

Early Tuesday morning, police received a call reporting “suspicious persons” outside of the Taco Bell. When the cops arrived, they discovered what appeared to be parts of a meth lab. According to Cedar Rapid authorities, the men were arrested and charged with conspiracy to manufacture methamphetamine.

The two were identified as Christopher Adam Matous, 31, and Kent Jerome Duby, 56. On top of the charges he shares with Duby, Matous also faces multiple additional chemical possession charges.

Naturally, Taco Bell shut down the restaurant until the health department can fully inspect location. The company also issue a statement stating that the employee was fired, though not revealing which of the two worked there or the exact location of the restaurant.

In the statement, Taco Bell says they are working with the authorities to investigate the isolated incident. The meth lab was not in the kitchens and that the restaurant will be inspected and sanitized by the Health Department before reopening.


Fast Food

Man Suing In-N-Out For Allegedly Serving Him A Meth Milkshake


A man is suing In-N-Out after claiming he was allegedly served a milkshake with two methamphetamine capsules. Fred Maldonado filed a lawsuit against the popular burger chain alleging negligence and strict liability at the Los Angeles Superior Court on Wednesday.

According to FOX News, Maldonado visited a Downey, Calif. location in March 2014. He ordered a burger and milkshake from the restaurant. Maldonado came back to the hotel room he was staying at to eat his meal, but it wasn’t until the next morning that he discovered that his shake had two pill capsules and a napkin at the bottom.

Returning to the Downey In-N-Out to express his concerns, Maldonado was given an apology and free burger from the manager.

The suit states that Maldonado didn’t initially know what were in the two capsules, but later tests discovered that they were “illicitly manufactured” meth pills.

Arnie Wensinger, In-N-Out executive vice president, told City News Service that customer safety is one of the burger chain’s highest priorities. He also added, “We will vigorously defend these baseless claims. Due to the fact that this matter involves ongoing litigation, we will unfortunately not be able to comment any further.”



The 7 Most Dangerous Things Kids Found in Halloween Candy


Sometimes people are careless and accidentally drop stuff into Halloween candy bags, but most of the time people are just perverse assholes and put needles inside of candy. You can’t even feel safe eating Halloween candy, one of the simple joys in life.

Halloween is coming up and some pretty sick things have been found in kids’ Halloween candy and candy bags in the past. Luckily the candy was checked and no one was hurt in these instances.




According to the Sun Journal, an Auburn, Maine, man found a sewing needle in a fun size Snickers bar that one of his kids received this weekend. Jason Levesque said that outside of urban legends, he’d never thought this had actually happened.



61FFd6fcURL._SL1003_There is some candy out there that looks like the Blue Sky meth the mighty Heisenberg sold in Breaking Bad, but that’s not what this 8-year-old girl found in her bag of Halloween candy. According to the Contra Costa Times, a bag of 0.1 grams of crystal meth was found in the bag of the young girl, who lives in Hercules, CA.


Razor Blade


There were a couple instances of razor blades found inside candy this Halloween. According to Press of Atlantic City, a blade was found inside a Tootsie Roll in New Jersey. According to MyFox8, there was a separate incident in North Carolina where a razor was found inside a Twix bar.


Shard of Glass


In Buffalo, NY, police received a complaint of glass found inside a Tootsie Pop. Buffalo News said that a woman found the glass while celebrating Beggar’s Night with her children. Apparently Beggar’s Night is some kind of East Coast thing, which is the same as trick or treating.



bullets candy

According to KFOR, an Ohio woman found bullets inside four boxes of her son’s Milk Duds. Each box contained three bullets for a .22 caliber hand gun. Worst of all, the candy was distributed by the kid’s preschool.


Nails and Staples

nails candy

In Spokane, WA, a woman found several metal objects inside the candy her children picked up this Halloween. Her son and a friend were munching on the candy and the friend bit into a nail. The nail poked him, but didn’t cause major harm. As they searched through the rest of the candy, several pieces had nails, staples and watch parts inside.


Wedding Ring


According to ABC News, a woman claimed to accidentally drop her wedding ring inside a kid’s Halloween bag. The woman took off her ring when helping her daughter carve a pumpkin and put the ring in a candy jar. On the surface, a wedding ring doesn’t sound like a dangerous thing to find in your candy bag, but I’d argue marriage can be dangerous.

Main PicThx @RWells88


Woman Jailed After Cops Mistake SpaghettiOs for Meth


“What are you in for?” One woman’s unfortunate answer was that the police thought her SpaghettiOs were methamphetamine.

The Gainsville Times reported that Ashley Huff, 23, was stopped by police on a traffic infraction involving her tag light. The car was allowed to be searched and when the officer looked inside a bag of hers, he found a spoon containing a “clear, crystal-like substance.” The officer also noticed sores on the woman, which by deductive reasoning, led him to believe she was probably on something.

The woman tried to explain that it was just leftover residue from SpaghettiOs, but to no avail, as the officer said his field test kit concluded that it was meth.

A month later, she was cleared of all charges as lab results showed no traces of any controlled substances.

Bet she’ll never eat SpaghettiOs again.

H/T Gainesville Times