Categories
Humor

JELL-O Offers Pudding Sacrifice in Hopes to Stop Mayan Doomsday [VIDEO]

According to Jell-O, the gods are ending the world because of the Mayan’s boring offerings of root crops. (That has to be offensive to someone, somewhere.)

Jell-O has constructed a plan to offer its pudding snacks to the gods in hopes that it will be enough to prevent this Friday’s predicted apocalypse.

In the commercial, a group of men are shown climbing up what looks to be the Kukulkan Pyramid of Chichen Itza with a box full of Jell-O chocolate pudding snacks to offer the gods of the Maya.

Note: I’m not sure if the gods will appreciate that the Aztec calendar is portrayed in the commercial and not the Mayan calendar at 0:08 seconds.

Surely, if we live to see December, 22, Jell-O will take the credit for it and plan some kind of weird Jell-O party hosted by Bill Cosby.

Will the gods be happy with the sacrifice, or has Jell-O pissed them off even more? I guess we’ll find out.

 

via YouTube

Categories
Restaurants

‘Armageddon Burger’ Prepares You for Mayan Doomsday With a Bacon Meatloaf Patty

Southern California-based burger chain Slater’s 50/50 is at it again, and this time with a burger of apocalyptic proportions.

In honor of the Mayan’s earth-destroying gift to us, Slater’s 50/50 (the proud creators of the half-ground bacon, half-ground beef patty) introduced the Armageddon Burger as its burger of the month for December.

If this is the last meal you eat, it will be quite a impactful one as it consists of a burger patty made of 50 percent beef and 50 percent rendered pancetta. That patty is then wrapped in more bacon and topped with prosciutto, arugula, mustard, and chipotle ketchup. If that isn’t enough bacon for you, the burger is sandwiched between a bacon pretzel bun.

When we asked chain Vice President of Marketing Erika DiProfio what made this burger more armageddon-like opposed to their other headline-worthy burgers such as the 100 percent ground bacon burger and even held claim to the spiciest chain burger with its 50 Alarm burger, she explained that “this burger is the ultimate comfort food…We couldn’t think of any other food that is more comforting to eat before the world ends- a bacon meatloaf burger with decadent prosciutto.

Here’s hoping that we make it past Dec. 21 so we can lust over whatever crazy invention Slater’s has in store for January’s burger of the month.

Categories
Hit-Or-Miss

Party ‘Til The End of The World With Stone Enjoy By 12.21.12 IPA

stone-enjoy-by-ipa

Stone Brewing impresses with one of their best marketing campaigns yet — Stone Enjoy By 12.21.12 IPA. The brew’s name reflects the Mayan prediction that the world would face its apocalyptic demise on December 21, 2012.

Of course, in proper ladylike and gentlemanly fashion, the folks at Stone Brewing Co. took the liberty to celebrate the momentous occasion with the perfect beer. Made not to last, Stone Enjoy By 12.21.12 IPA is packed with 11 different hop varieties and features a full-flavored taste of hoppy freshness. The “Enjoy By” date is proudly printed across the bottle, so you can’t miss it. The reason? Each Stone By IPA is brewed to be consumed within a 35-day packaged-to-sip cycle, the emphasis placed upon the notion  “that there is no better time than right now to enjoy this IPA” and toast to the end of the world ‘cuz YOLO. Ahem.

It’s a novel idea that could potentially change the way the brewing industry packages and distributes their goods to consumers. That is, assuming the Earth is still here after December 21.