Categories
Humor

14 Awful British Foods That Make Us Proud to Be American

haggis

This holiday, it’s easy to get caught up in the frills. Fireworks, grilling, the old red, white, and blue. But let’s not forget the true reason for the season, celebrating our liberation from our staunch, haggis-eating, tea-drinking forefathers. Think about it. If we hadn’t told GB to buzz off, we may have never created the Double Down. Girl Scout Cookies would only be eaten at tea time. French fries would be called chips and chips would be called crisps. Crisps!

So, this Independence Day, remember there’s plenty reason to revel in our independence, especially the fact that we didn’t get stuck eating that awful soggy grey stuff they call “food” on the other side of the pond. Sure Britain’s got its cool accents and nifty TV shows, but we’ll take a deep-fried twinkie over this mess any day:

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1. Stargazey Pie

stargazy

Pastry pie topped with fish heads

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2. Jellied Eels

jelliedeeg

Like unagi, only gross

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3. Haggis

haggis

A pudding thing made from sheep heart, liver, and lungs

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4. Black Pudding

blackpudding

A pudding sausage thing made from pig’s blood

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5. Baby Gaga Ice Cream

babygaga

Warning: Made from human breast milk

PicThx Mother Nature Network 

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6. Spotted Dick

spotteddick

Another pudding thing made with raisins; thankfully not diseased genitalia

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7. Laverbread

leverbread

Seaweed thing?

PicThx Neil Cooks Grigson

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8. Sussex Pond Pudding

sussex

A boiled cake with a whole lemon inside. Why is it boiled?

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9. Turkey Twizzlers

twizzlers

What looks like Britain’s version of Slim Jims, only a million times more frightening

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10. Marmite

marmite

Yeast extract-based salty poop sauce

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11. Bubble and Squeak

bubble

Medley of last night’s leftover cabbage

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12. Pork Faggots

porkfaggot copy

Unfortunately named offal meatballs

PicThx Lily In Canada

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13. Flies Graveyard

fliesgraveyard

Giant raisin newtons

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14. Mushy Peas

peas

Not gross necessarily. Still sad looking though.

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Happy 4th of July everybody!

(CORRECTION 7/3/14: A previous version of this article listed Pickled Eggs as a British food. They are British in origin, but can also be found worldwide.)

Categories
Fast Food

Pizza Hut New Zealand’s Latest Stuffed Crust Filling: Marmite

Marmite Stuffed Pizza

Love it or hate it, Marmite has gathered a cult following in New Zealand and the UK through the years. The salty yeast-based spread boasts a strong odor and is eaten with toast or crackers. Depending on who you talk to, Marmite is either delicious or downright awful. Looks like New Zealand Pizza Hut is willing to roll the dice on this one by coming up with their new CheeZee Marmite Stuffed Crust pizza.

The pizza features melted mozzarella sticks baked inside the crust along with a Marmite layer. It’s only available with the Cheese Extreme Pizza, a cheese pie with three times the normal amount of mozzarella. CheeZee Marmite Stuffed Crust is available for $8 NZ ($6.80 US).

If it’s as wonderful as anchovies, sign me up.

H/T Brand Eating

Categories
Video

Watch How the World’s Most Hated/Loved Food is Made

production

The first time I tasted Marmite was in my auntie’s kitchen nestled in the Brighton countryside of England. My auntie handed me a jar with a yellow label and lid, smiled and asked, “Have you ever tried Marmite before?” I shook my head no, opened the lid, and peered inside the jar inquisitively — the thick spread had the consistency of Nutella, something I ate religiously.

Except that it smelled like sour apples and cat piss, making me want to throw up in my mouth a little. Naturally, I had to try it and unsurprisingly, it tasted just like I imagined sour apples and cat piss would taste like. Never. Again.

Or course, there’s a great number of people who will disagree with me and swear by this stuff. So, for all the Marmite lovers out there, here’s a fun behind-the-scenes factory tour of  the famed “Hate it or Love it” yeasty spread.

Enjoy the ukulele background music and watch two dudes sip some Marmite drank.

H/T First We Feast