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#foodbeast News

This Chicken Teddy Bear Is What Nightmares Are Made Of

Sometimes, you just don’t know what you’re absolutely terrified of until it’s staring at you dead in the face.

One of those things is the “chicken teddy bear,” which is literally a teddy bear made out of raw chicken pieces that were oh-so-delicately and macabrely sewed together by its creator, “Maggie from Metairie” in New Orleans.

Advertised on Facebook Marketplace by Maggie as a “great family activity,” this foul fowl is also allegedly “edible and can be cooked.” Although the ad is now removed from Facebook, the chicken bear was initially priced at $35, or $25 if you provided your own chicken. Maggie had also offered to make clothes for your chicken bear, possibly at an additional cost.

Of course, The Internet jumped on the chance to express their genuine fear and disgust of the chicken bear as soon as it went viral:

 

So what makes this bear so incredibly unnerving? Possibly because all the sewing is so reminiscent of horror films like Silence of the Lambs, Tusk, or even The Human Centipede. Or maybe because it’s just an absolute mess of a salmonella outbreak just waiting to happen.

It’s highly questionable if this ad was genuine to begin with, but one can’t help but wonder what this nightmare bear would have look like once fully cooked.

Either way, we’ll pass.

Categories
Hit-Or-Miss

Amazon Sells Wine Now, Feel Free to Make (Or Not Make) Better Life Choices

The way I see it, this can go one of two ways. The preferred way, obviously, is Amazon’s nifty new wine marketplace — implemented just this Thursday — gets mostly used by sommeliers and oenophiles trying to expand their personal wine selections. The second, more likely way, however, is that it gets taken over by lonely cat ladies and bumbling college grads just looking for something new with which to play Sacagawina.

But what can you do, it’s the internet.

Available now to the 13 Districts 12 states and the District of Columbia, Amazon’s Wine Marketplace will operate not as an independent retailer, but more as a middleman for individual wineries seeking to expand their online distribution.

Which is good news, apparently, as industry heads hope Amazon’s reputation will help increase the measly 2% of wine purchases which are currently being made online. (You know, ‘cause two-day shipping for a last-minute anniversary gift just ain’t gonna cut it.)

Holding up to the rest of the site’s impressive filtering system, aspiring connoisseurs are able to sort through the currently available 1,000 or so wines by type, grape variety, tasting notes, professional ratings, price, brand and even alcohol content.

Due to state distribution laws, however, Amazon Wine can currently be shipped only to California, Connecticut, Florida, Idaho, Illinois, Iowa, Nebraska, Nevada, North Carolina, Oregon, Washington, Wyoming and the District of Columbia — though the web retail giant plans to expand to other states “soon,” whenever that is.

via LATimes