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Humor Packaged Food Sweets

You Can Anonymously Send A Bag Of Gummy D*cks For Valentine’s Day

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For anyone who’s ever been told to “Eat a dick,” here’s your chance to get a few in before Valentine’s Day. Dicks by Mail, the online service that sends gummy penises to anyone is offering a special Valentine’s Day Box for the upcoming holiday.

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The non-conspicous packaging is a perfect decoy for any and every romantic from here to the end of the block. For $20, you just include the name and address of the recipient and patiently wait for a reaction from your Valentine. A bag of dicks, without the holiday packaging, costs $15.

You can also customize your bag of dicks with additional penis-shaped confetti and glitter for an additional fee, leaving an unwanted messed for the target of your affections.

Categories
Hit-Or-Miss

This Escaped Monkey Does Not Care About Your Bills, Will Eat All Your Mail

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After a long day at work, all you probably want to do is go home, kick off your shoes and relax. What if, however, you came home and found a monkey going through your mail like a Vegas buffet?

The Town Talk reports that a Florida monkey escaped from its owner’s home in Sanford. Upon his freedom, Zeke the Monkey decided he was hungry and went straight for the nearest supply of food: the neighbors’ mail.

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Yep, when Sanford police arrived at the scene, they discovered Zeke sitting atop of a mailbox chowing down on mail.

As a distraction, probably because mortgages and bills are depressingly dry, the officers gave Zeke a bottle of water to drink from.

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When the officers tried to catch him, however, Zeke jumped onto the squad car and pulled some molding off the roof of the vehicle. Sounds like a pretty fun afternoon for the Sanford P.D.

The monkey was finally apprehended when the owner returned home.

Photo: Sanford Police Department

Categories
Sweets

Harry Potter Cookie with Hogwarts Acceptance Letter Hidden Inside

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During the height of the Potter craze, most of us wanted nothing more than to receive that Hogwarts acceptance letter in the mail. We would’ve chosen that over our top college pick any day and taken a chance to leave our muggle lives behind in a heartbeat. While those days are now past, this Hogwarts cookie with a letter awaiting inside offers tasty consolation.

Made by Tina of Sugar Bean Bakers for a friend’s birthday, the recipe calls for just a few easy steps. The cookie itself consist of a simple sugar cookie recipe, then gets topped with marshmallow fondant. The “official” Hogwarts acceptance letter is folded and placed inside beforehand, making a delightful surprise for any Potter fan.

For those of you still waiting by the mailbox for that fateful day, these Hogwarts Acceptance Letter Cookies will hold you over ’til then.

H/T + PicThx Sugar Bean Bakers