Categories
Humor

Ask Your Doctor About Clinically-Proven Anti-Depressant Tacos [HUMOR]

tacos

I don’t always eat tacos, but when I do, I prefer not to be gazing emotionally out of windows while sad piano music plays in the background and I depressed-ly neglect my cat. But for those who aren’t so lucky, hey, at least they taste better than pills.

According to the following infomercial by Pleated Jeans, tacos are the best new anti-depressant medicine (also known as beef’n’cheese-ifil citrate), are formulated to be “freaking delicious,” help give you a warm feeling of satisfaction “deep down in your tum tum region,” and aid in curing depression caused by “not having tacos.”

Don’t wait, ask your doctor about tacos today. Or wait until they come out with a Doritos-flavored taco-flavored Doritos-flavored version. You know.

H/T Pleated Jeans

Categories
Hit-Or-Miss

Well That’s Just Mean: $24K Order of Girl Scout Cookies Turns Out to Be Nothing But a Cruel Joke

gscookieshoax

Okay, I know that with the economy being the way they is, it might seem like Girl Scouts trick us out of thousands every year, but damn, revenge is not the answer.

According to the Consumerist and KATU News, two troops in Portland, Ore. thought they’d come upon the deal of a lifetime when they were approached with a request for a huge corporate order of Girl Scout cookies. But when it finally came time to collect payment for the six thousand, $24K worth of boxes they had set aside, however, the prankster revealed the whole thing was nothing but a hoax.

The money expected from the sale was supposed to be used so the girls could go to camp, which of course they’ll now have to find another way to raise, considering, as Consumerist stated, “the cookie-selling season is technically over.”

Basically, some douchebag decided to punch some little girls right in the heart and probably killed a bunch of fairies and unicorns in the process. Luckily, after hearing the original story, some Portland locals decided to buy up about half the boxes meant for the cold-blooded pranksters, but the girls still have a long way to go if they want to raise the extra money on time.

I’d totally help, but I already promised I’d buy some from little Sally down the street, sorry.

H/T Consumerist + PicThx Interview Angel

Categories
Humor

This is What a Zero Calorie Pizza Looks Like [COMIC]

This is a cartoon I came across today by Drew of Toothpaste for Dinner, AKA THE SPAWN OF SATAN, who also brought us 3 Reasons Why Cupcakes Are Bullshit, which I felt compelled to share.

I apologize profusely to anyone who came here looking for the miracle of Christmas miracles, an actual pizza with absolutely zero calories. But if we’re being completely honest with ourselves, like deep down, you had to have known what was coming.

Enjoy (or don’t.)

via Laughing Squid

Categories
Humor

Novelty Birth Control Gum

Anyone else smell a lawsuit in the making? I mean, I know that to the average human being, this would appear to be a blatantly obvious farce. Then again, you just know that someone, somewhere, is going to try and use this gum for its “intended purpose” and try to get litigious on the makers of this product.

The tag line the gum pushes speaks volumes — Specially formulated for single ladies in their 30’s.

Apart from some grammatical issues that arise with that sentence, the winking female caricature could be poking fun at those single ladies who are actually trying to either (a) pretend to themselves that they are on birth control, or (b) pretend to their man that they are on birth control. Maybe they really want a baby, want a baby-daddy, and want all that comes along with it.

Out of  fear of any ensuing legal repercussions, I would like to state now that this product does not, in fact, provide any birth control to its users. It’s gum. It’s gum with a mildly humorous gimmick. That is all.

($1.50 @ Amazon)

Categories
Video

Squirrel Melts: ‘You Must Try Them’

It’s really hard to tell if this is a total joke or if this lady is dead serious. Maybe this was aired on some independent channel, or I’m just really gullible. Either way, it may seem gross, but for some reason I would definitely try a squirrel melt. Especially if she toasted that thing up on an English muffin. Would you?

Categories
Products

The One and Only True Tea Bags

You know that as soon as you saw this Teabagging Bags you thought of that one person in your group that these would make the perfect gift for. You can purchase this classy and delightful tea accessory at The Cheeky. The teabagging bags are reusable so prepared yourself to enjoy teabagging your beverage over and over again.