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News

Ex-Spokesman Jared Fogle In Constant Fear For His Pitiful Life In Prison

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Jared Fogle, a name now synonymous with floppy sandwiches and child-piddling, is back in the news for another cringeworthy but well-deserved shitstorm.

A little over two weeks ago, Fogle was approached in the recreational yard at Englewood Prison in Colorado by a fellow inmate named Steve Nigg. Nigg then proceeded to beat the living bajeezus out of Fogle for being a nasty, nasty boy. Apparently Nigg has some real issues with child molesters, and frankly, nobody blames him.

In order to prevent my homie Stever the Pedo-Cleaver from shoving his all-American foot back up Fogle’s stretchy ass, prison officials decided to transfer him to another prison in Oklahoma, over 700 miles away. TMZ reported that, “Our sources say prison officials talked to Nigg who made it clear…he would brutalize Fogle again if given the opportunity, because of his seething hatred toward child molesters.”

Let’s just be thankful that Fogle is now paying a much steeper (perhaps deeper) price for his footlongs.

 

 

via NBC News, Heavy

Categories
Celebrity Grub

Jared Fogle Gained A TON Of Weight In Prison

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Former Subway spokesperson Jared Fogle was arrested last year after police raided his house and discovered child pornography. He later admitted to pedophilia and was convicted of having sex two minors. Fogle was sentenced to 15 years in prison.

It appears he’s not doing too well in prison, Gawker reports. The former head of the Jared Fogle Foundation and poster boy for the Subway sandwich company has reportedly gained 30 pounds from binge-eating in prison since his incarceration last November.

According to In Touch Weekly, Fogle goes through Frosted Flakes, Cake and Honey Buns by the boxes. As he eats, his fellow inmates taunt him.

The binge eating is a likely result from the stressful environment of prison. It’s definitely got to be worse for pedophiles. Fogle admitted to an altercation with some inmates at the prison gym.

Categories
Hit-Or-Miss

Project ‘Subway’ Outfits Models in Napkins and Sandwich Bags

Fashion Project SUBWAY

New York Fashion Week wasn’t just for the top designers and tourists. Subway took advantage of the week-long fashion bonanza to promote Subtember and the $5 dollar Footlong. How, you ask? By holding Project “Subway,” minus Heidi Klum.

In the name of “high fashion,” the sandwich chain had designers come up with eclectic looks featuring only items found in Subway stores. Napkins, sandwich bags, salad bowls and other “items” (like trash you find on the floor ) were transformed into couture creations. A panel of judges including Nastia Liukin and former Spice Girl Mel B, joined Jared (yes, you read that right) to determine the winning dress, which will be displayed in a Subway restaurant in midtown. The winner, Danilo Gabrielli, also received free Subway Footlongs for a year, you know, to help him stay fit for his next fashion show.

Mel B, Jared Fogle

I’ve got to admit that the designs are pretty stunning, once you get past the crinkly plastic and glaring shades of yellow and green. But what I want to know is why no one got really creative. Where are the deli meat dresses å la Lady Gaga? A lettuce hat? A garlic bread bustier? Now that, would have been a sight worth seeing.

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Fashion Project SUBWAY

Categories
Fast Food

Subway Tests New Fritos-Stuffed Crunchy Chicken Enchilada Melt, Apparently Gives Up on Life

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For years, Subway has been touted as a savior for mildly health conscious cubicle-dwellers everywhere, tired of McDonald’s but still not quite willing to pay the premium to eat Veggie Grill or Panera Bread every day. But now it seems even Jared and the promise of an extra cookie or bag of chips isn’t enough to get people to visit, since Subway’s latest test sub looks so unhealthy, it’s almost patriotic.

Stuffed with shredded chicken dripping in enchilada sauce and topped with Monterey Cheddar and Fritos chips (yes really), the new Crunchy Chicken Enchilada Melt has only been spotted in Central Florida and downtown Seattle, according to Grub Grade (while a visit to our local Subway location revealed no such glory). But perhaps this reveal can be considered a sign that Subway has finally thrown in the towel. After all, given the choice between getting this and that awful Oven Roasted Chicken with Spinach again, we all know most of us would happily take the extra calories. Shh honey, it’s okay – that’s what all the vegetables are for.

H/T + Picthx Grub Grade