Ladies, did you know? You can now figure out how much a guy makes based on the kind of sushi he orders.
Fancy looking clothes can only say so much. If you really want to judge a man’s class and the size of his wallet without being direct, ask him what kind of nigiri (hand-pressed sushi) he likes — apparently, his response will tell you what he’s truly made of. Hold on, guys — we’re about to get real superficial.
RocketNews24 got the expert advice of an “elite businessman” in Japan who went by the alias “Mr. M.” Allegedly, Mr. M spent a month observing sushi diners to form his theory on what the sushi orders of men says about their income; using his theory, he said he can accurately guess a man’s income based on their order within $1000 dollars.
Tuna — $0, No Income
“Tuna? Wow. You peasant.” According to Mr. M, poor people can really only afford sushi from supermarkets or convenience stores and the lack of variety there really only means they’ll be eating tuna. This is not the classy choice.
Salmon, Avocado Shrimp — You Make $27,000+
This range is for those who fancy the kind of sushi served on a conveyor-belt — which means a dollar a plate. Mr. M says that the men who order salmon or avocado shrimp tend to order sushi that is geared towards children.
Salt Lemon Squid — You make $45,800+
If this person were a car, they would be a Saab. While this choice highlights the middle-class businessmen, they will still frequent conveyor-belt restaurants, though they can still afford the more expensive places that offer a greater variety of sushi. Apparently, men who choose squid prefer salt as their extra topping of choice.
Boiled Clams, Garden Eel, Conger Eel, Herring — You make $73,000+
These are the respectable yet frugal businessmen. They know good sushi enough to have specific choices and tend to like more traditional forms of sushi. Mr. M surmises that these men tend to be architects and engineers, generally jobs of skill and class.
Sea Urchin, Fatty Tuna — You make $91,000+
“I can tell by your taste you are quite generous,” the lady says with a smile. These men pay for other people’s sushi, and by people, we mean women who have expensive taste. The pick-up line that we assume always works for Mr. M is, “I know a good place that has sea urchin.” This choice of sushi will leave her thinking only one thought — “Playaaah.”
All the sushi — You make $100,000+
It turns out that when you enter the six-digit income range, anything goes. This guy makes so much money he gives no f*cks what other people think of him and orders whatever he likes, fatty tuna (oturo), salmon (sake), sea urchin (uni) or otherwise. A good way to spot these men of paper and class really depends on where they eat — usually the best spots in the best cities. Good luck getting in without an invite.
Thus concludes Mr. M’s non-scientific study. While he preferred to remain anonymous, he did wear a nice shirt and jacket to the interview, so we’ll go ahead and assume he was loaded.
So next time you are curious about the size of his wallet but you don’t want to come off sounding like a gold-digger, try this out and ask him what kind of sushi he likes. He could be poor, he could be loaded — the point is you can never really tell.
And for you ladies who really are concerned about income, hopefully you have at least more class than these ladies.
Originally written by Sebastian Dillon for NextShark