Categories
News

WHOPPERRITOS Exist & A Dude Smuggles Pork Ribs In His Pants [KATCHUP]

Here we are, another episode of the FOODBEAST Katchup. If you missed out on all the food news this week, fear not. This series catches you up on all the top stories in the wide world of food.

This week, a brewing company developed a beer that’s safe for dogs to drink. Cause no one wants to drink alone. Hipsters found another thing to ruin for everyone else by deconstructing coffee. Awesome, guys.

Burger King is testing a new item: a Whopper and a burrito. Guess what they’re calling it? A guy was caught shoplifting at a grocery store and when he was asked to return the items, hilarity ensues. Finally, a bunch of geniuses decided to rob a McDonald’s that was filled with special forces. Bad move, gentleman.

Check out this week’s Katchup.

Beer for dogs

Dog-Beer-01

Drinking beer with your buddies is a human bonding activity, but who’s to say that it can’t be done with man’s best friend too? A U.K. based company called Woof and Brew recently released a beer just for dogs. Canines can safely consume the beverage since it doesn’t contain alcohol, hops or carbonation that can harm their digestive tract. According to The Atlantic, veterinarians often advise owners to not give their dogs beer since canine livers can’t metabolize the alcohol the same way human livers can. In addition, other ingredients including hops can cause violent reactions in some dogs. READ MORE

Hipsters ruin coffee

Screen Shot 2016-06-01 at 12.40.29 PM

It turns out that even coffee, one of the last few bastions in the world of simple delights, is susceptible to being raped and defiled by the beanie-toting, opinion-flinging, artisinal-everything bearded goons we all know and hate called “hipsters.” READ MORE

Burger King introduces the Whopperrito

Whopperito-Pic-01

Apparently thirsty for its day of innovation, the folks at Burger King are wrapping their famous Whopper in burrito form and calling it the Whopperrito. We have your first look. READ MORE

Man whips meat out of his pants

meatthief

Being a former Kroger supermarket employee, I’ve seen my fair share of shoplifters trying to casually walk out with carts full of groceries, or slipping Kit-Kat bars in their pockets, but this guy’s technique is at a master level, except for the fact that he still got caught. A video shows a man being questioned by a store employee before eventually revealing the meat he was packing inside his pants, literally. READ MORE

Idiots rob McDonald’s full of special forces

mcdsf

Back in the day, Tonight Show host Jay Leno used to love telling stories about stupid criminals, and in that same vein, we present to you the morons who tried to rob a French McDonald’s filled with special forces. READ MORE

Categories
Hit-Or-Miss Humor News

Hipsters Found A Way To Ruin Coffee That’s Hysterical And Annoying

It turns out that even coffee, one of the last few bastions in the world of simple delights, is susceptible to being raped and defiled by the beanie-toting, opinion-flinging, artisinal-everything bearded goons we all know and hate called “hipsters.”

Australian-based writer Jamila Rizvi called out an unnamed Melbourne cafe (for their sake) on the presentation of the “coffee” she ordered. In an obvious attempt to be weird and trendy, this cafe decided to serve their coffee in three different beakers: one holding the liquidated coffee, one holding the hot water and one holding the cream.

Screen Shot 2016-06-01 at 12.40.29 PM

This absurd and obnoxious set up comes on a wooden board and is served with a spoon, so that you can mix your preferred amount of each ingredient into the fourth glass that wasn’t provided to you, because hipsters. Granted, they’d probably give you one if you asked, but still. This really is too much.

Jamila, along with a vast majority of Australians, expressed that she was getting tired of the Hipster culture and their ability to get their sticky, pseudo-weathered hands onto anything and everything that seems good and genuine.

“Hipsterism has gone too far when your coffee comes deconstructed. I wanted a coffee. Not a science experiment. I prefer to drink my coffee out of crockery and not beakers. Next stage? I’ll just get a chopping board with a bunch of actual coffee beans and an upside down hat on it.”

Some people came to the defense of these hipsters on Jamila’s post, saying that they, “love this idea because you never know how strong a coffee is going to be and you can make it however strong or weak you like it.” A decent idea, although if that was a big concern for you, wouldn’t you just make it at home?

After all is said and done, ordering a cup of coffee should always be easy and convenient. It’s coffee, not a congressional bill, so take it easy hipsters.

Categories
Packaged Food

Tic Tac Creates Taste-Changing Mints For Millennials Who Can’t Commit To One Flavor

Tic-Tac-Mixers

A new pack of Tic Tacs is set to hit shelves in June. The new flavor, or flavors, will be called Tic Tac Mixers. They’re designed specifically to change tastes as it dissolves in consumers’ mouths. Y’know, for those who just can’t commit to one flavor.

Bloomberg reports, there are three specific reasons why the new Tic Tacs exist. The first is, obviously, is to freshen consumers’ breaths. The second, to have a “sweet, fruity moment.” The third, to provide consumers with…”an emotional rescue.”

Because we all buy Tic Tacs to escape, right?

The two new varieties of Tic Tac Mixers are Cherry Cola and Peach Lemonade.

 Photo: Tic Tac Facebook

Categories
Video

Watch Hipsters Being the Worst at Ordering Coffee [Video]

coffee-hipster

From the same guys responsible for Hipsters Love Beer — an insanely accurate take on bar folk — comes a fabulous parody on the worst best people you’ll run into at a coffee shop.  Nachopunch delivers an especially entertaining comedy on patrons ordering double soy lattes with extra vanilla foam and organic beans caressed by the gentle hands of a coffee die-hard.

“Spell my name wrong so I can complain about it on Facebook,” requests one mustached gentleman. Another proudly displays his aged Sumatra roast, which comes in a stone desk fountain. A girl buys a special blend so a child in Uganda can have a latte too. Everyone’s a writer. One guy won’t stop asking for free refills or wifi.  In short, it’s perfect.

Categories
Humor

‘Hipsters Love Beer’ Parody is Fantastically Accurate

hipster

From the comedic talents of Nacho Punch comes this phenomenal video simply titled “Hipsters Love Beer.”  No, this is not an ode to Hipsters, nor beer, but instead a hilarious commentary poking fun at craft beer culture.

The spoof is glass full of hipster-esque stereotypes, from the old-school frames to wide brimmed hats, to mustaches and beanies, and, of course, to preposterous beer orders. Beer served in fedoras, light lagers in bird feeders, woody beer with a real head of sawdust, this has got it all.  The best punch line of all time, however, is the Christian Bale ale.  Batman says its quite hoppy, but we’d love to give it a taste and judge for ourselves.

Categories
Hit-Or-Miss

‘Bike-In’ Coffee Shops are So Portlandia

bikecoffee

“SO PORTLANDIA” is how one commenter describes these “bike-in” park stands, and she is SO RIGHT.

Except for the part about these hipster havens being in Portland, because apparently, Switzerland has outdone Oregon this time.

They’re called Velokafi, and they’re part of a combined effort by Zurich government officials and designers to accomodate a growing number of cyclists in the area, ultimately building toward the local “Stadtverkehr 2025 Program,” which “aims to improve transportation infrastructure, for pedestrians, cyclists and motorists.”  The Velokafi (dunno what that means, but you can bet “coffee” is part of it) are set up at parks and designed for bikers who are, like, too busy/pretentious to get off their bikes like the rest of us plebs.

Swiss hipsters (or “Swissters”) can find the Portlandia exports, comprised of a desktop + a wooden docking station to hold the bike, at the Rathaus Café, which also provides a free cup of coffee to anyone who uses the Velokafi.

Well, if nothing else, Swissters, do it for the coffee. It is a sacrifice worthy of the discomfort of not sitting in a real chair. Probably.

H/T + PicThx Design Taxi

Categories
Humor

The Trendy Food Flowchart for Hungry Hungry Hipsters

flowchart little

In today’s slow-roasted, gluten-free, organic, Stevia-based, what-do-you-mean-you-like-McDonald’s-french-fries world, it can be hard to know what to do for a quick-fix. It’s midnight, you’re hungry, and you’re fresh out of vegan bacon cheeseburger flavored soy chips. What are you gonna do? Nom on some Cheez-Its? What are you, a heathen?

What you need to do is refer to this Trendy Food Flowchart from Thought Catalog. That way you know whether you should be snacking on Sriracha-covered bacon, starring in a YA novel, or living the #FROYOLO life.

Obviously.

flowchart big

H/T + PicThx Thought Catalog