Categories
Cravings

World’s Most Hipster Restaurant Offers a Salted Caramel Lobster Grilled Cheese

lobstercheese

Grilled cheese is normally the laychild’s go-to, consisting of two slices of white bread nestled around a slice or two of American cheddar cheese and melted in a frying pan, but this is some straight bougie sh*t.

The Hudson Common in New York is offering a $22 grilled cheese sandwich for National Grilled Cheese Day this Friday, made up of Yancy Farms White Cheddar Curds, Brooklyn Salvatore Smoked Ricotta, 2 Sisters Gouda, Tickler Cheddar, Fromage Blanc, Prairie Breeze Cheddar, buttermilk and Red Chili-Chipotle Lobster Salad, topped with a caramel drizzle.

Its full name is the Salted Caramel Angry Lobster Fatty Melt and I totally understand. I mean, if I were a dead fancypants crustacean and someone poured delicious gooey caramel all over my naked corpse WITHOUT EVEN LETTING ME TASTE SOME FIRST, I’d be pretty pissed too.

Food Republic goes so far as to call this monstrosity “The World’s Trendiest Sandwich,” but let’s just consider for a moment the rest of the Hudson Common menu, which includes Peanut Butter Barbecue Ribs, Kimchi Pickles, White Truffle Popcorn, Bloody Mary Bacon and a Pork Katsu BLT. Salted caramel? *Snort* So mainstream.

H/T + PicThx Gothamist

Categories
Humor

This Williamsburg Hipster Reacting to Guy Fieri’s Fake New Restaurant Totally Gets It

guyfieri

Step off, “I’m-not-really-into-the-whole-f*cked-out-over-commercialized-celebrity-chefdom thing”-guy. Your pretentiousness is not welcome here.

A couple of days ago, comedy troupe Late Night Basement went around asking young, hip Brooklyn-ites how they would feel if Guy Fieri opened up a restaurant in their “completely corporation-free” culinary haven. The results, of course, were expectedly douchey.

All except for one, the young lady around two minutes who, while clearly hip and clearly Brooklyn-y, also has no qualms admitting that “nacho cheese-stuffed foie gras” doesn’t sound entirely bad.

“I’m kinda into that,” she says after taking the time to think about it instead of immediately writing the place off as the epitome of everything wrong with Corporate America.

But she doesn’t stop there.

“Take anything that Guy Fieri does,” she continues around 2:19, “open it at midnight and have it close at 8 o’clock in the morning and that’s a winner.”

The moral of the story? Even though the offending restaurant was fake, hipsters just need to pipe the f*ck down and appreciate gross, commercialized, over-the-top food for what it is — which is the perfect drunk-time noms.

“Tell me it’s open from like from 11 p.m. to 3 a.m.,” she asks her interviewer hopefully at one point.

Dahling, that’s exactly what we were thinking.

H/T + PicThx Late Night Basement

Categories
Hit-Or-Miss

Caribou’s New Biscotti Mocha is Pretty Much Pinterest in a Cup

biscottimocha

There are only a few things I know about biscotti. The first is that it’s really crunchy bread. The second is that the Filipino version is absolutely incredible. And the last is that it probably tastes pretty good when broken up and mixed into coffee, otherwise this new Biscotti Mocha from Caribou Coffee doesn’t make a lick of sense.

But hey, I’m just a lowly food blogger without a single DIY-ing, coffee-drinking, hipster bone in my body. For all I know, “pretty good” could be the understatement of the century.

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Designed as “perfect complement to embracing life’s simple moments,” the new Biscotti Mocha from the Minneapolis-based Caribou Coffee Company features flavors of amaretto, vanilla and pistachio – all topped with crumbled biscotti, according to a press release.

Yes, because there’s nothing like waking up at 4 a.m. at the lake house with a warm cup of Biscotti mocha, especially when it comes with the totally adorable, totally twee TV spot below.

“Life is getting up an hour early, to live an hour more.”

It’s so hip I could puke.

H/T + PicThx PR Newswire

Categories
Hit-Or-Miss

A Mini Moonshine Jar for ‘Healthy Hillbillies’

Time to trade in your fancy shot glasses for these baby mason jar mock-ups, or you’re in danger of being too mainstream. Don’t worry, you’re still paying $12 per glass, it only looks like you didn’t. Made by Archie McPhee, these 2-3/4″ little suckers hold 2 oz. and help keep your moonshine-guzzling self in check.  The maker explains: “A tiny jar of moonshine is much healthier than a full size jar… See, we’re all about healthy hillbillies.” Hey, that’s an excuse that we’re willing to buy. Be sure to drink up while wearing your Sunday-best flannel, and we won’t reveal that your “hand-me-downs” were also ordered online.

Mini Moonshine Jar: $12 @ Archie McPhee

via Laughing Squid 

Categories
Hit-Or-Miss

Watch These Foodie! Bane Outakes From The Dark Knight Rises

Who knew that behind all that muscle and malcontent hid a man who just wanted to make sure everyone got their daily recommended amount of fiber?

The guys from Auralnauts, apparently. That is, if their YouTube video description is to be believed, Bane’s lines in The Dark Knight Rises had to go through several revisions before making it to the final cut. I guess monologuing about strawberries and belittling Gotham’s taste in pizza makes a guy seem less menacing from some reason.

Check out the full range of Foodie!Bane’s TDKR outtakes below.

:07 seconds, in which Bane kills a guy for eating a bagel and cream cheese:

:51 seconds, in which he decides he wants market-fresh strawberries:

1:17 seconds, in which he feels his dietary expertise is being questioned:

3:38 seconds, in which he would have gone with the mixed greens over the iceberg lettuce:

And a bonus clip of Bane rapping, just because:

via Geeks Are Sexy

Categories
Products

How To Transform Your Drink Into A Hipster

Hipster-Glasses

Quick. What’s the most hipster thing you can think of? If “A hipster riding a fixie with one pant leg rolled up, sporting an unbuttoned cardigan with an ungodly low V-neck, black Ray Bans and smoking a ciggie while simultaneously drinking wine as he bikes down Melrose Ave” was your first thought, then damn. You got talent.

Although, these mustached drink markers are pretty close too. From Chuck Norris to Charlie Chaplin shaped whiskers, there’s one for every kind of special hipster in you. If you feel warm and fuzzy inside by that sentence then, ew.

Dapper Drink Markers, available for $5 on Kikkerland.

Categories
Humor

Eat It, Don’t Tweet It — Hipster Foodie Problems [VIDEO]

Talented YouTube musician and videographer group The Key of Awesome are poking some serious fun at contemporary foodie culture in their latest video “Eat It Don’t Tweet It.”

Making fun of people who take pictures of food isn’t a ground breaking satire. Since the inception of blogs, camera phones and the boom of Instagram, everyone can name a friend that can’t go a meal without snapping a photo of it. If you can’t spot a friend who does it, chances are it’s you.

There’s no shame, and to be frank, my friends and I are huge culprits of snapping photos of our food. There’s no bigger rush for us than sharing our sushi pyramids on Instagram and waiting for our followers to “like” it or leave comments like “OMGAW WHERE?!” and “IN MEH BELLY PLZ!”

OK, they don’t all talk like that, but this is already a cynically themed post. Without further ado: