Categories
News Packaged Food

Harry Potter Fans Are Freaking Out Over These New “Butterbeer-Flavored” M&M’s

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Potter-heads will flock toward anything that’s even remotely Harry Potter-based, so expect these new Butterscotch M&M’s to be in the hands of every magician in training.

The Halloween themed “White BOO-tterscotch” which has been described as Butterbeer in candy form, will be sold exclusively at Target this fall, and Harry Potter fans are already buying into the hype.

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I know what you’re thinking, how does anyone know what a made-up drink, inspired by a wizarding book tastes like? The books describe it as “a little bit less-sickly butterscotch,” and Universal Studios found a way to make that taste happen at its parks, so that’s probably what everyone is going crazy about.

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All I know is that Target is going to be filled with strange people this fall. Well, more strange people.

Categories
Hit-Or-Miss Humor Opinion

10 Foods From Television I Desperately Wish Were Real

There are few things in this world that are greater than food, sex and sleep, particularly in that order. Since this isn’t sexbeast or sleepbeast, I figure I can focus on the food. Just as we daydream about having threesomes with celebrities, or how we long for our beds while at work, we also have borderline sexual fantasies about food.

I’ve compiled a collection of the most desirable foods from movies and television that I would sacrifice my firstborn child to taste. In fact, you can have the follow-up children as well, they’re never as good as the first one anyways.

1. Harry Potter – Butterbeer

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Now, I know what you’re thinking. “But Sean, Butterbeer DOES exist! Look, here’s the recipe I found that some lady in Albuquerque named Ruth came up with!” Well, that’s kind of the issue. Butterbeer is described as “a little bit like less-sickly butterscotch.” On top of that, it has some alcoholic content to it, albeit a tiny amount. Still, I scoured the interwebz for a recipe that sounds as close to the description in the book as possible. Alas, they all cover the butterscotch portion but fail to bring the alcoholic factor into the equation. All I really want is to enjoy a sweet, crisp Butterbeer with my friends at the Three Broomsticks, is that so much to ask?

2. James And The Giant Peach – The Peach

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“Ew Sean, all the bugs were walking around in the peach and shitting in it and stuff, what’s wrong with you?” Yes, bugs were walking around in it. But you know what? Those bugs were as humanoid as they come, and if you’re going to have walking, talking, fashion-conscious bugs, will you really have the balls to say, “Get out of my peach“? Furthermore, I’ve seen some of you share ice cream cones with your Rottweilers and shit, you know who you are. Besides, everything is better when it’s bigger, right? Have you ever been floored by a rack of chicken ribs? No you haven’t, liar.

3. Lord Of The Rings – Lembas Bread

Nutritious, delicious, sustaining and long-lasting. What more could you ask for in a simple piece of bread? Created by the Elves of Rivendell and the Woodland Realm, this bread was made to last months without going stale, as long as it stays wrapped in the green mallorn leaves it comes in. This square-shaped pastry was the staple meal for Samwise and Frodo on their long, treacherous journey, giving them just enough strength to make it to Mordor and free humanity from the clutches of that big eyeball guy. Besides, it’s not like you’re going to find a White Castle in Middle Earth. It’s either Lembas bread or the rotting corpse of “filthy orcses.” Your call, hobbits.

4. Spongebob Squarepants – Krabby Patties

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Widely considered the greatest food in Bikini Bottom, this burger has retained its insanely large fanbase ever since sea sponges, crabs, squids and starfish began walking, talking and weightlifting. Invented in his younger days by Mr. Krabs, the money-hungry proprietor of the Krusty Krab, this burger has all the standard ingredients in a burger except for two things: the undersea cheese and the secret formula. Over the years, Spongebob and the Krusty Krab krew have come up with a wide variety of burgers, including the pretty patty, the double triple patty deluxe, the jelly patty, the monster patty and the chopper burger. The recipe for the flabby patty (a patty made to garner friendship between enemies), my personal favorite, is:

  • Four pounds of “grade A love”
  • One tablespoon of “listening”
  • Two tablespoons of “cooperation”
  • Mix ingredients
  • Hold in warm heart

5. Hook – The Lost Boys’ Feast

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I often fondly recall my time as a child, with my vivid imagination running wild and free, like a flying velociraptor that shoots fire and money out of it’s mouth, but not at the same time. In order to really enjoy this feast, you have to BELIEVE. Despite the fact that the only thing I can identify with certainty is the turkey, this scene always made me wish so badly that I could be there for this magnificent feast. I have to believe that the adventurous Christmas music playing during that scene is also part of my desire to partake in the meal, because it gets me really excited. Plus, you KNOW it’s going to turn into one of the most amazing food fights ever. Who wouldn’t want that? Barbarians and funsuckers, that’s who.

6. Friends – Chandler And Rachel’s Cheesecake

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It’s fairly common knowledge that New York Cheesecake is one of the best types of cheesecake you can find, and many would argue that it is in fact the best. So how is one supposed to act when one finds the best New York Cheesecake IN New York!? Like a pair of bloodthirsty savages, of course. That’s how Chandler Bing and Rachel Green acted when the most amazing cheesecake they’ve ever had appeared on their doorstep. After eating the entire thing, the Gods looked down upon them favorably and sent them another cheesecake! They decided to split this one evenly, only both of their pieces ended up on the floor. The reason this cheesecake makes the list is because it was so good that they continued to eat the cheesecake…off the floor. Of course, who else shows up with a fork in hand, ready to join in on the ground grub, other than Joey Tribbiani? This time, Joey DOES share food.

7. Dr. Seuss – Green Eggs And Ham

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“You know what, man? Keep following me around and shit, see what happens. I’m serious, Sam. I will knock your bitchass out right here, right now, fo’ real. I don’t want your green eggs and ham, fuckin’ weirdo. Shit is wack.”

That’s what the exchange in the beloved children’s book Green Eggs and Ham would sound like if it was modernized and dropped the rhyming scheme. Still, this meal (despite its questionable color) has made many a mouth water over the years. What kind of lonely shut-in would say no to sharing a meal with a fox in a box? I’ll tell you one thing, Sam, I would definitely eat them in a house with a mouse. By the end of the book, the guy who hates on them the whole time ends up loving them.

Wait, what? The green eggs and ham are actually green eggs and green ham? I thought they were a metaphor for acid? No? Oh. Ok, never mind, not so into them anymore.

8. Willy Wonka And The Chocolate Factory – Everything

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This movie, perhaps above all else, is likely the sole reason for at least 80% of children’s cavities in the last 45 years. It was virtually impossible to watch this movie and not crave some sort of candy or chocolate. From the Chocolate River to the Fizzy Lifting Drinks to the Everlasting Gobstopper, the infinite number of things to put in your mouth in this fairy tale factory are overwhelming. In one room in particular, you can eat everything, and I mean everything, from the plants to the rocks to the river. Of course, all of the children suffered gruesome and horrific fates, whether it was drowning, blowing up, shrinking down or being burned alive in a furnace. Still, totes worth it.

9. Popeye The Sailor – Spinach

Considering the number of junk foods that have made it on this list already, it’s understandable that I feel the need to throw in some greenery. Even so, I wouldn’t do y’all dirty like that. Yes, it’s spinach, but not just any spinach. This spinach boasts the ability to make consumers so strong that their muscles begin growing within seconds of ingestion. Popeye’s love for the leafy green vegetable increased profitability in the spinach market (yes, that’s a thing) so much so that four different statues of the animated character were erected around the Unites States. FOUR. That’s five more Popeye statues than there should ever be. Still, if spinach gave people super strength, who WOULDN’T be eating that shit every day?

10. Family Guy – Pawtucket Patriot Ale

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I’m a red-blooded American, and every red-blooded American likes a nice frosty beer every once in a while. Of course, if you’re Peter Griffin, you like a nice frosty Pawtucket Patriot Ale every 20 seconds. The fictional ale, made to look similar to Samuel Adams’ Boston Lager, has been the staple beverage on the show for the last 14 seasons. Peter’s love for the drink is so great, he even begins working at the brewery just to get his fair share of free brews. Some of the wild and adventurous shenanigans that Peter, Brian, Quagmire, Joe and Cleveland get into after polishing off a couple of pitchers of the hoppy nectar make me think that the beer has something to do with it. Either that, or Stewie has been lacing their drinks with LSD. Yeah, that’s a thing.

 

 

Photo Credit: Wiskt, YoutubeDaily Mail, Blogspot, Spongebob Wiki, Twitter, Basement Rejects, Clip Art Panda, Gif Mania, The Geeked Gods

Categories
Adventures

A Magical Look At All The Food Inside Hollywood’s Harry Potter World

Let me preface, I know damn near nothing about Harry Potter. Foodbeast’s decision in sending me to a preview of Universal Studios Hollywood’s new “Wizarding World Of Harry Potter” was a pure shit show.

Yes, I can recognize Harry Potter out of a lineup, and I know who Hermione is because anyone with two eyes can see that little girl grew up to be a stone cold fox (sorry, creepy, I know, sue me). Beyond that, I don’t know what a Dumbledore is, and I’ll admit I was probably unappreciative of how awesomely decorated the bathroom felt and the creepy voice in the stall that spoke to me while I took a piss.

But let’s find out what they got cooking in this magical new Harry Potter land.

7:58pm — Already late. The event started at 7pm. It ends at 9pm. Trust me, I’m not cool and casually late, I just suck at driving.

7:59pm — Universal Studios closed a few hours ago, so we enter a back way into an empty park.

8:00pm Security guard hears we’re here for a press event. He looks half Russian, half Mexican. Just painting a picture.

8:01pm — He reminds me how late I am, and that they probably are gonna be all out of that “bomb-ass food” inside.

8:02pm — Security guard attempts to radio someone inside The Wizarding World. He turns back to me and asks what news outlet I’m from. He knows where I’m from, but I oblige, “I’m from FOODBEAST”

8:03pm He doesn’t know.

8:03pm — I have to repeat “Foodbeast” a few times, security guard apparently hasn’t heard of Foodbeast yet. He also doesn’t fuck with Harry Potter or “any of that magic shit.” I’m with you dawg.

8:08pm — Security guard pulls up our Instagram on his phone.

8:09pm — I lied, I pulled it up for him.

8:10pm — I give some dabs to security and thank him for the hospitality, but our PR girl arrives at the side gate to escort us to Hogwarts. She reminds us that we’re not allowed to take pictures of “The Wizarding World Of Harry Potter,” and that once we’re inside the “Three Broomsticks” dining tavern and “Hog’s Head pub” I’ll be able to take as many boner-inducing food porn pics as I would like.

8:11pm — During the walk over I learn that the actual Wizarding World will open to the public on April 7, 2016. This immediately makes me feel like a baller, as we’re getting a sizable two month early preview. I spot a big ass train car with smoke pillowing out of it, I assume it’s from Harry Potter. But again, I could be wrong. Here are three broomsticks on a wall:

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8:12pm — My PR Girl reminds me that I’m late, and I’ve missed cocktail hour and opening remarks from the executive chef. I enter through the double doors of the “Three Broomsticks,” and immediately find the Hog’s Head Pub for some libations. Even with less than an hour to spare, fuck if I’m not going to get Harry Potter-wasted:

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booze Tried it all. Fire Whisky, Wizard’s Brew, Dragon’s Scale, Hog’s Head Brew, all created exclusively for the Wizarding World.

8:16pm — Buzz is settling in. Feeling warm and fuzzy. I should go shoot pictures of some food.

8:17pm — This place would be awesome high.

8:18pm — I arrive at the food:

all-the-food 8:20pm — As I’m about to get in to my close up photos, the homie Josh of Los Angeles Magazine shows up. He knows about Harry Potter, so I ask if he will host a Facebook Livestream video for me, because I know absolutely dick about Potter. He obliges because he’s a scholar and a saint:

Harry Potter Land sneak peak at the food 3 BROOM STICKS. — w/ Elie Ayrouth and Culinary Bro-Down (LA MAG)

Posted by Foodbeast on Wednesday, February 17, 2016

8:25pm: I take pictures of every dish they have available before digging in. If things look bright, dizzying, or improperly framed, I’m drunk:

Traditional (English?) Breakfast

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Fresh scrambled eggs, sausage links, bacon, black pudding, baked beans, baked tomato, sautéed mushrooms and potatoes. I really wanted to try this, but this was just the display photo and they didn’t have it available.

Eggy Bread (French Toast Thang)

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Fresh baked baguette bread dipped in a cinnamon egg batter and lightly sautéed, sprinkled with powdered sugar and served with bacon, strawberries and maple syrup.

Turkey Leg w/ roast potatoes and corn

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Prime Rib Of Beef w/ veggies, roasted potatoes, Yorkshire pudding and gravy

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A Really Big Salad

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English Ale and Cheese Soup

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Beef, Lamb & Guinness Stew (this was amazeballs)

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Bangers And Mash!

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Shepherd’s Pie

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Ground beef and vegetables crowned with a crust of mashed potatoes. Very much yum.

Fish & Chips, ale-battered cod

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Lemon Herb Roasted CHICKEN! Watercress garlic aioli

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Spare Ribs were 100% (think the 100 emoji)

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Don’t sleep on the Seared Asparagus, sautéed cabbage and caramelized onions. Damn near the best thing here

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Categories
Hit-Or-Miss Humor

16 Unique Coffee Mugs You Need In Your Mornings

The best part of waking up is coffee. Maybe not any coffee, and probably not Folgers, but this nectar of the gods is the life force for many of us. Why bother throwing such an important beverage into a boring mug? We brewed up a few mugs to fix that.

1. Lego My Coffee

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Because Lego’s are the foundation of any nutritious breakfast.

2. Taste The Rainbow

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Drink coffee and poke your enemies eyes out. Plus rainbows. So, basically all your favorite things.

3. Pipe Dreams

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Perfect for mushroom tea.

4. Schroedinger’s Coffee

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The only problem is that the coffee is both cold and hot until you sip it…

5. Who Needs A Plastic Surgeon?

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My other nose is a fucking disaster.

6. C Is For Coffee

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Addictive behavior is hilarious…

7. The Call of Coffee

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Cthulhu Coffee: Perfect for kicking your morning into beast mode.

8. Put Your Donuts Where Your Mouth Is

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Because 8 AM is simply too early to talk your way into a sexual harassment suit.

9. Flush Once For Caffeine

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Get it? Cause I have a potty mouth? And everything else about me is horrible.

10. Quali-tea

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Mostly confusing, because this is a coffee mug with a tea pun on it. And vestigial arms.

11. The Sunday Morning Mug

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A classy way of saying what we could already smell coming out of your pores, Linda.

12. Early Morning Accomplishment

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Wanted a medal, got a mug :\

13. All The Rage

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He’ll probably be really angry when he actually tries to crumple it.

14. Emotional Little Sith

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I’m guessing you take it… dark?

15. I Can See Clearly Now

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The only time it’s acceptable for your lens to be steamy.

16.  Snooze Button Managed

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Who needs a wand when you have coffee?

Categories
Hit-Or-Miss

How To Spend Valentine’s Day Like A Wizard From Harry Potter

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Valentine’s Day is quickly approaching and quite a few of us are struggling for ideas on what to do for the special day. How about a magical dinner for two at Harry Potter’s Great Hall of Hogwarts?

Warner Bros. London Studio Tour is taking reservations for Valentine’s Day weekend (Feb. 13-14) for diners to spend the romantic holiday on the movie set of the Harry Potter film.

The Great Hall will be tricked out for Valentine’s and will feature a three-course meal, an after-hours tour of the Harry Potter sets, post-dinner coffee or tea, chocolates and tankard of Harry Potter’s famous Butterbeer.

Guests will also receive their very own wand.

Prepare to shell out quite a bit though. A dinner for two costs £495 which is about $716.04 US, not including the plane fare if you’re not in Europe. Still, if you can afford it, the experience should be a magical story you can tell your Muggle children someday.

Reservations begin Jan. 13 and can be placed through the Warner Bros. London Studio site. It also gives you a detailed itinerary of the evening.

Photo: Warner Bros. London

Categories
Hit-Or-Miss

Harry Potter Shots Will Give You A Magical Hangover, Here’s How To Make Them

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The folks over at Graphic Nerdity bring us these Harry Potter inspired shots. They’ve got Avada Tequila, Triwhiskey Cup, Gin Weasley/Rum Weasley, Demintor, Expecto Patron, and Sectum Sambuca. According to the makers, some of them taste bad. But do they still get you tipsy? Priorities!

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Find recipes for all the magical drinks HERE!

Written by Brittany High, Incredible Things | Graphic Nerdity

Categories
Restaurants

A Look Inside Canada’s New Harry Potter Bar

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Canada’s getting a little bit more magical as a new Harry Potter-inspired bar has opened in Toronto. The new bar, The Lockhart, is named after the famous professor Gilderoy Lockhart from the second Harry Potter novel.

While the brash celebrity professor met a [spoiler] melancholic fate in Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, the memory of his heyday lives on in Canada.

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Drinks include cocktails called Befuddlement Brew, The Shacklebolt and Ludo’s Debt, all inspired by the famous series. While the bar will also serve the better-known Butterbeer, it will go by a different name thanks to copyrights.

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Patrons will also find a small tapas menu that includes citrus shrimp, jalapeño mac & cheese, croquette sandwiches, baked Brie with jam and flavored popcorn.

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The Lockhart will also hold trivia nights, which may or may not only include Harry Potter trivia. It’ll also feature Harry Potter-themed gifts and collectables. Halloween parties are also expected to be thrown.

Photos: Facebook via Sandro Pehar

Categories
Restaurants

A Look at the Leaky Cauldron Menu in Universal Orlando’s Harry Potter World

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Harry Potter fans are counting down the days until Universal Studios Orlando opens Diagon Alley at the Wizarding World of Harry Potter July 8. The theme park is based on the works of J.K. Rowlings’ Harry Potter books and subsequent movies and is also a Mecca for worldwide Potter fans to visit and enjoy.

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Among the attractions is the Leaky Cauldron, a famous eatery within the novels and what looks to be a pretty magical restaurant soon to hit Orlando. Universal Studios released a menu of options from the Leaky Cauldron. Among the choices are Ploughman’s (English cheeses, bread, apple beet salad and a Scotch egg), Cottage Pie and Beef, Lamb & Guinness Stew in a bread bowl.

Other dishes include Bangers and Mash, Fisherman’s Pie, Fish and Chips and exclusive beers including Wizards Brew and Dragon Scales (it is a pub, after all). Fan-favorite beverages like Pumpkin Juice and Butterbeer will also be available.

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From what we’ve seen so far, the Leaky Cauldron has us salivating. It doesn’t seem to need an excitement charm to get our attention. Now to book that ticket to Florida. Sadly, our brooms don’t fly.

H/T Universal Orlando