Fast Food

McDonald’s Plans To Turn Around Its Flailing Company With Hamburglar Redesign


Yikes. With a need to constantly update appearances for modern times, McDonald’s has given a makeover to yet another iconic character in its cast of misfits. With Ronald McDonald recently going through a hipster-esque upgrade, popular nemesis “The Hamburglar” couldn’t be too far behind.

Looks like his time has come.

The fast food company revealed the newest look for the burger thief and it’s a tad underwhelming. It was teased earlier in the week that this new incarnation is a suburban dad with a checkered striped taste for McDonald’s burgers.


We would’ve been more than happy with the chubby ginger in a striped onesie and cape.

Bet you anything the new Grimace will just be a guy in a purple suit.


Man, 78, Allegedly Stabs His Wife to Death When She Refuses to Make Him a Burger


Bartolo Gelsomino, a 78-year-old man in Miami, allegedly stabbed Ana Gelsomino, his 71-year-old wife, to death when she refused to cook him a hamburger, report authorities.

Gelsomino, was arrested on January 21, after the couple’s daughter found her mother’s body in their home. Although he attempted to make it seem as if their house had been burglarized in order to cover up the murder, following his arrest the man confessed to stabbing his wife with a kitchen knife, detailed the series of events and revealed to investigators where he hid the murder weapons and the clothes he had been wearing.

He is currently being held at the Miami-Dade County Jail.

We suppose this is one hamburglar who won’t be getting away. . . Too soon?

H/T NBC News, Miami Herald

Fast Food

‘Hamburglar’ Burgles Drive-Thru Order

Although, he wasn’t wearing a striped onesie, domino mask, fedora, or cape, a real-life ‘Hamburglar’ did strike a McDonald’s in Maine. Police say that Sunday night, as an employee was handing a customer their drive-thru order, a young man jumped in the middle of the car and the drive-thru window and made off with the customer’s food order.

Witnesses contacted Lt. Christopher Massey, who was leaving a nearby convenience store. Massey found the suspect in the parking lot of another fast food restaurant, eating from the contents of the stolen bag. According to Massey, the suspect swore and took off into the woods. The three men from the car whose food was stolen claim they did not know the suspect.

Their $20 worth of food was replaced by the store. The suspect is still at large.

via: Huffington Post