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Packaged Food Sweets

Galactic Gushers Are Back From The ’90s And Now At Walmart

Sure, we just started a brand new decade, but let’s take a second to venture back to the beloved ’90s — a time of iconic Robin Williams movies and nostalgic grocery store treats. One of which we were pleasantly surprised to discover is making its way back to the candy aisle nearly thirty years later.

For the month of January, Walmart is exclusively bringing back a taste of the ’90s with the return of Galactic Fruit Gushers.

Galactic flavors include Asteroid Apple and Berry Star Clusters as well as a Mystery Flavor in each box. If you can correct the Mystery flavor, you could also win a prize for yourself by giving your answer at GalacticGushers.com. Prizes include merchandise, apparel, and gift cards.

You can find the flavors exclusively at your local Walmart, or can purchase them online here. Wonder if this means Jurassic Gushers are coming back in the not-too-distant future?

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Sweets

Our Tumultuous Relationship With FRUIT GUSHERS

Fruit Gushers, hexagon-shaped fruit snacks that “gushed” with a thick sweet fruity liquid every time you bit into one.

Where Did Gushers Come From?

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Ask The Red Gushers, Tumblr

They’ve been around since 1991, and came packaged in pouches just slightly puffier than a condom. Within each package came a handful of Gushers, little quarter-inch hexagon-shaped gelatin casings with thick juicey liquid in the center.

We all remember the box:

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The Mean Streets Of Middle School Lunch Areas

Gushers had a ubiquity in the school lunch snacking circuit. Memories of tearing open the packages to find a block of Gushers that always seemed to have gotten stuck together.

When I was in junior high, my time with Gushers involved diving into my sack lunch in hopes of finding a pack hidden underneath my pita sandwiches (Lebanese mom) and glass Perrier bottles (Lebanese dad).

If it wasn’t my lucky day at the bottom of the paper bag, I’d immediately have to get my bartering skills on. I’d scan the lunch tables looking for stray smiles with gusher residue still on their teeth.

When I spotted someone, I’d prey. How about this Perrier for some of those Strawberry Splash Gushers? No? Well, how about this tuna pita sandwich for your Tropical Variety Pack? Oh you have an undeveloped palette and tuna grosses you all-the-way out? That’s cool, can I still have a Gusher though?

They weren’t the healthiest snack, albeit they were “made with real fruit juice” and maintained an “excellent source of vitamin C,” but my mom read through that propaganda early on. I wasn’t allowed more than a pack a week in my lunch, which made me savor the sweet juices all the more.

 

Where Are They Now?

My tumultuously up-and-down personal inventory of Gushers seemed to parallel the real world battle the snacking industry felt as soon as more mothers began reading the nutrition labels.

In 2011, a class-action suit was levied against General Mills suggesting that their fruit snacks, Fruit Gushers included, was guilty of deceptive marketing for suggesting their fruit snacks are, well–fruity. You mean that exploding geyser of fruit liquid on the Gusher packaging isn’t 100% fresh squeezed Strawberries?!

Reality set in, and even though General Mills tried to get the suit dismissed, general perception set in and folks were now aware that very little real fruit, if any, was actually in these deliciously gummy and messy morsels.

Gushers are very much still available at grocery stores (and in monster packs on Amazon), but you won’t find them in the check-out aisle. They now sit just a bit lower out of eyesight, both in the stores we frequent and in our general consciousness.

I still love you Gushers.

Categories
Sweets

How the F*ck Do You Chew This Thing? The Fruit by the Foot and Fruit Roll-Up Wrapped Super Gusher

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It’s a dentist’s worst nightmare: a “Super Gusher,” composed of at least three packs of its namesake, wrapped in layers of Fruit Roll-Ups and covered by a quilt of bright pink Fruit by the Foot like a rubber band ball.

Gawk at its glory. Marvel at its high-fructose corn-syrup-laden mastery. Contemplate how f*cking hard it must be to chew.

5 minutes of requisite net-digging did not reveal the original source of this monstrosity, though chances are he’s now probably sitting in his dentist’s office, wondering if there’s such a thing as fruit-flavored Polygrip.

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H/T + PicThx Waker of the Wind

Categories
Sweets

Chocolate-Covered Gushers

You remember Fruit Gushers? While they didn’t have the mass awareness of say, gummy bears, they do indeed invoke a powerful nostalgia in my tastebuds when they’re brought back to general consciousness. I can recall those special grade school days I would tear into my Ninja Turtles lunch pail and find that mom had supplied me with that goody-goody Fruit Gushers. I was giddy like Mike Tyson at an ear buffet, believe it.

Thankfully, we have our friend Becky, who seems keen on taking everything in my book of food nostalgia and covering it in chocolate has done just that. These Chocolate-Covered Gushers come from a pack of Strawberry Gushers and white and chocolate baking bark. The Gushers are initially frozen for a few minutes for firmness, then coated with chocolate, and back in the freezer to set.