Categories
Packaged Food Video

We Reviewed Edible Sex Toys, From Gummy Penises To Candy Bras

In case you’re looking for some delicious inspiration to spice sweeten up your love life this Valentine’s Day, we here at FOODBEAST have got your back.

On an unsuspecting day, I walked in on the dudes Elie and Rudy eating out of a bag of dicks. You heard me.

For this episode of UNBOXED, we try a variety of sexually suggestive sex toys that are pretty much edible. These include a bag of gummy penises, edible panties, a tasteful edible bra, and flavored condoms.

If there was any horrifying opportunity to get a glimpse into Elie and Rudy’s sex lives, this was it. Watching Elie eat the candy bra off my hairy co-worker’s bare naked chest will forever haunt my dreams.

Still, the things we do in the name of discovery. Mad respect, fellas.

Check out the latest episode of UNBOXED above. The clock starts now in case you need to plan out your Valentine’s Day.

Note: Do NOT eat the condoms. Those were just for flavoring only. 

Categories
Packaged Food

Anonymously Send A Bag Of D*cks To Your Enemies

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Have an enemy? You can anonymously send them a tootsome doo-dooan envelope full of glitter, OR a bag of penis-shaped gummies thanks to D*cks By Mail. The company pockets your $15 and in return mails off the package of gummy packages to your worst enemy along with a note that instructs them to eat a bag of d*cks. Quick question: do the candies taste bad? If so, okay, yes, that is stone cold Steve Austin. I do NOT wanna be on your bad side. If not — if they’re just regular, delicious gummies — then the sender is the real sucker here. I mean, spending $15 to tell someone they’re a jerk using candy? C’mon now yall. It’s doesn’t matter what shape it comes in! Candy is candy is candy is candy.

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Written by Brittany High of Incredible Things