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Hit-Or-Miss

Mr. Peanut’s Funeral Will Go On Despite Kobe Bryant Tragedy

[Update: Planters clarified that it will still be running its Super Bowl funeral for Mr. Peanut. in the 3rd quarter of the Super Bowl. The previously reported “pause” only impacted its paid advertising, and “some other outreach in the immediate wake of this tragedy.”

[Original Story]
When Planters decided to kill off their beloved Mr. Peanut character, there was a tiny corner of the internet that felt it was a bit morbid. Otherwise, their commercial featuring Wesley Snipes and comedian Matt Walsh was a wild success.

However, with the untimely death of global icon Kobe Bryant, Planters has thought better of their marketing angle, and decided to postpone their ad for Super Bowl Sunday.

“We are saddened by this weekend’s news and Planters has paused all campaign activities, including paid media, and will evaluate next steps through a lens of sensitivity to those impacted by this tragedy,” Planters said, Monday.

The “funeral” for Mr. Peanut was originally planned to air during the 3rd quarter of Sunday’s big football game, where they presumably would have introduced a new product.

News broke Sunday of Bryant’s death, along with his daughter Gianna, and seven others who were all involved in a helicopter crash in Calabasas, California. As you can imagine, Planters’ carrying on with its original approach would have been pretty distasteful at a time like this.

Planters has not commented on their next move, but it was definitely a good call to not go any further with the planned commercial.

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Hit-Or-Miss

The Best Conspiracies Surrounding Mr. Peanut’s Death

When the news came across my desk that Mr. Peanut had died, my first reaction, was, “Okay.”

You wouldn’t expect the 104-year-old peanut’s death to move the needle, but believe it or not, he was trending on Twitter pretty hard earlier this week, ahead of even the impeachment hearings.

The press release we got said, “It is with heavy hearts that we confirm MR. PEANUT has passed away in a tragic accident in order to save the lives of his dear friends Matt Walsh and Wesley Snipes.” Then it informed us that Mr. Peanut’s funeral services will take place during the 3rd quarter of the Super Bowl.

Why they decided to kill off the longtime spokespeanut, we don’t know yet, but plenty of people have had their theories.

We’re willing to bet that Gary Vee had something to do with it, as his agency VaynerMedia, represents Planters.

Foodbeast’s own Constantine Spyrou believes this is all an elaborate publicity stunt, which is probably the silliest conspiracy theory. The peanut is clearly dead. The topic did come up on the latest episode of the Foodbeast Katchup Podcast, and everyone gave their theories of what the heck is going on with the Estate of Mr. Peanut.

As mentioned earlier, Twitter ran wild with theories:

The Epstein/Government Theories


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Fire Roasted Theories

Many fans aren’t falling for the death and going with Constantine’s theory that this is all a marketing scheme for the Super Bowl. Our own Reach Guinto shared the same sentiments as the tweet above, that Planters is actually going to reveal a new roasted peanut flavor.
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Rising Like Lazarus


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Mr. Peanut is Still The Face of Capitalism


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Someone With Allergies Set Him Up


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Mr. Cashew


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Their YouTube video has already garnered 2 million views, and the video’s comments were turned off for some reason. What are they hiding? Whatever it is, We’ll find out Sunday, February 2, as that’s when the big reveal will take place, and hopefully is worth the hype it created this week.

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Hit-Or-Miss Humor

Some Guy Really Held A Funeral Service For His Exploded Ketchup Bottle

When this Morrisons Supermarket customer opened up his cupboard and found that his unopened ketchup bottle unexpectedly exploded, his first thought was to complain over Twitter. His second thought was to ceremoniously depart with his ketchup bottle, in an honorable and respectful way.

David Collinson of Tegnmouth, England clearly had too much time on his hands, as he contacted Morrisons, saying, “Dear why has my unopened ketchup decided to end it’s life like this? It took the brown sauce and a stock pot with it.”

After no response from the grocery store, Collinson went on to show them the proper funeral he had arranged for his recently deceased ketchup bottle.

That’s when Morrisons finally responded, upset that they were not invited to the funeral service.

Morrisons asked the customer to DM them the store he got the ketchup from and bottle bar code, because in the middle of this ridiculousness, they still wanted to provide real customer service. That’s when Collinson tweeted out the nail on the coffin of absurdity:

After a bit of a back and forth, the two finally got everything sorted out, and while they didn’t say how, he probably got reimbursed in some way.

May the valiant ketchup rest in peace.

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Hit-Or-Miss

10 Worst Things to Eat at a Funeral [WATCH]

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The death of a loved one is always heartbreaking and saying that last goodbye is a personal moment that should not be spoiled. Especially by popcorn.

Some ceremonies can last hours and a snack might not sound like a bad idea, but the folks from comedy group Straight White Males showed exactly how the cold realities of serving food during a wake can turn in to the most excruciatingly painful social setting.

There are definitely foods that should not be eaten during a funeral and each one listed is worst than the next. If your family already hated you, this could just add fuel to the fire as you see your dear Nana for the last time.

Check out the 10 foods that should not be eaten at while at a funeral and the ultimate annoyances behind them:

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Hit-Or-Miss

[BREAKING BAD SPOILER ALERT] Steakhouse to Hold Funeral in Honor of Series

breaking-bad-steakhouse-funeral

It is done. Finished. The show that consumed five years of my life is over, leaving many of us fans with a hole in our hearts that we must quest to fill. So for any of you fans that felt like you didn’t get closure, or anybody who has ever wanted to attend the funeral of an international drug Kingpin, there might be a solution to your problems.

A steakhouse in Albuquerque New Mexico has decided to throw a funeral for The One Who Knocks on Saturday October 19th at Sunset Memorial Park. The eulogy for Walter White will be delivered by set decorator Michael Flowers, and it can be expected that the people wearing black bowler hats to people not wearing black bowler hats ratio will be greatly skewed from its natural state of nobody wearing black bowler hats.  The reception will be held at Vernon’s Hidden Valley steakhouse, which is featured multiple times in the show, and donations will be made towards Albuquerque Health Care for the Homeless “in memory of Walter White.”

Yes, the funeral is a must for any fans in the area, just make sure not to use the Stevia if they are serving any tea.

H/T Guardian Express Picthx Breaking Bad